Help please - Seriously worried about germs and bacteria :(

[Louise990]

Hi all

I'm seriously panicking about something I did yesterday..

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and whilst cleaning my house I emptied all of the bins as you do.

I emptied the bathroom bin and grabbed all the stuff out of it (with my bare hands) and put it into a large carrier bag. I then went downstairs and emptied the kitchen bin into another carrier bag and took it outside.

I then stupidly emptied the outside bin into the wheelie bin but some leftover food dropped out from the day before. I picked up the food again with my bare hands and slung it back into the bag BUT after all of this I stupidly got distracted and didn't wash my hands until I realised about an hour later :(

I'm very OCD but not usually about germs so I can't believe I did this, I'm such an idiot. I know I should have wore globes but I just didn't think.

I'm so worried that I've harmed the baby.

Please help!

Yes, 'allowing' unhelpful thoughts and then moving on from them is one well-recognised technique and to my mind is a way of controlling them.
Thinking "oh, here I go again" in an accepting way rather than panicking over panicking IYKWIM can help.

You are who you are. A loving accepting relationship with yourself will help - stop criticising yourself and putting yourself down.
IME people with anxiety issues are often v conscientious, have v high standards on themselves and others, do meticulous jobs in whatever they apply themselves to, are prone to striving for perfection (which sets them up to fail of course) and are generally quick to beat themselves up and very reluctant to give themselves credit for their (manifold) great qualities.

I agree with Pacific and Singing - allow the thoughts to happen but also affirm to yourself they are anxiety, take some time out to think "okay, I'm having unhelpful thoughts, let's use my CBT. .."
It's like if you had back pain or breathlessness; no need for guilt or shame, but worth taking a tlc moment and using strategies to ease pain rather than soldiering on if you feel ill.

I try to allow the unhelpful thoughts and try to visualise them as logs just floating down a stream. My anxiety peaks when I hurl myself into the stream and cling onto one of the logs rather than just letting it gradually pass me by.

The problem is that I feel like I'm being careless and not protecting my baby enough by just letting these thoughts go - my brain tries to trick me into believing that I need them for awareness and safety but in reality they are no help to me whatsoever.

I'm trying to rationalise the situation but it's so hard. I told my OH what I did and I assume he's judging me and thinking I'm a bad person - I know deep down he isn't.

I'm afraid that these anxieties will still be present when I have my baby and ruin the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I want more than anything to be able to just relax and think calmly but all I can think is that I put my baby at risk by handling manky food that I should have just left. If I didn't have OCD then I wouldn't have been frantically cleaning/checking stuff anyway :(

Louise, I think the very best thing you are doing is writing down the thoughts and clearly acknowledging they are not neccessarily accurate.

Like your acknowledgement about your OH. It shows a certain amount of objectivity: "I know these thoughts are OCD related"

Perhaps a "thought diary" might be useful? You may be the sort of person for whom writing down thoughts makes them weaker.

By the way, I don't think anxiety really hurts babies in utero - I remember a wise woman once reminding me that women gave birth to healthy babies in Auschwitz. Its more your mental health that you have to be careful of. But I think you should definately give yourself a bit of praise here - you are committed to tackling it.