Oh God I'm pregnant

[Thentherewere4]

Ok so I found out yesterday morning that I'm expecting again. My first thought was oh god no.

I'm 35 and have 2 DSs (12 & 5). We'd always jokingly talked about having another but when it came down the serious discussions we decided that it just wasn't practical. We had a stillborn baby 7 years ago before we had our youngest and although we always said we'd have three children that was us, we were done.

My head and my heart are saying two totally different things and I just don't know what to do.

My practical side is saying that we barely get by money wise every month, the house is not big enough for another one and we can't afford to move. The other huge issue is that its my parents who currently look after our DSs after school - it would be a huge ask of them if we introduced another little one into the mix. I've just started a new job as well at the end of May and even joked in my interview about how I wouldn't be having any more children!

But....and this is a massive but...my heart is saying wouldn't it be soo nice to have another and that we would manage somehow - we always do. After everything we went through losing DS2 could I really make the choice not to have this one.

My husband has been completely supportive - he was super excited at first and then when we started to talk more about the practical side of things I could tell that he was worried. Every obstacle I have mentioned he's said we would work round it - the only thing he asked me was would I want to go back to all the sleepless nights and nappy changing. He's 100% behind whatever I decide to do but at the end of the day its my decision.

I'm so lost and confused about what to do

Honestly, I'd just go for it. Kids can still share rooms for years - you can get a trundle bed and a bunkbed and fit three kids in one small room if you need to. People did that for hundreds of years! And your parents will probably be over the moon, especially knowing about your stillbirth. You and your husband always wanted and planned for three, and you've got a chance at that.
Do you think that feeling so worried might be a bit down to the stilbirth and feeling like you shouldn't allow yourself to feel hopeful or excited?

Go for it, you can always fit more in somehow. As for gps looking after them in reality 8 months pg potentially 9 months mat leave, your eldest won't need looking after.

I'm a firm believer that gut feeling counts for everything in these situations.

Sit down and take a good look and your finances and how the space might work out in your house and all the practicalities. But there is time, your youngest will be 18 months older before you need to think about childcare etc again.

But if your gut, your heart, says that you always wanted three - it's something very strong to ignore over the space in a bedroom for an extra bed.