Relationship in the third trimester..

[Elizabeth120914]

Anyone feeling like they are more friends with their OH than a couple?

My OH kisses me goodnight/ good bye hello from work, hold hands but we are sitting on separate sofas well I'm lying on a pile of pillows and have been watching tv pretty much all day not talking much. This has been the pattern recently..

There's nothing wrong as such I keep telling him I want some attention but he laughs and thinks I'm being daft. We haven't had an intimate relationship since April as he doesn't like the idea of it with the baby which doesn't help and I definitely don't feel like it at 35 weeks either..

Just wondered if anyone else feels like this..? Might be hormones too but I'm just missing how close we were and he doesn't get it at all!!

yep im 35 weeks to and totally understand what you mean its so hard to feel close at the moment

he keeps saying it will be fine once baby here but I know its going to be hard for months after to..... this pregnancy stuff is harder than I thought

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I was much the same throughtout my pregnancy and for, maybe, nine months afterwards. We still cuddled on sofa in the evening and hugged in the day but that was all. Our daughter is 17 mo now and all is back to normal. For me the breastfeeding made a huge difference until she was weaned. No desire whatsoever. I'm still feeding her but I guess she takes so little in comparison that hormonally I'm a bit more normal. Enjoy this last special phase and may you have a beautiful birth!

Glad it's not just me!

He's not actually done anything wrong for once I'm just feeling like an incubator! All anyone wants to know is about he baby never me I'm sore, fat and feeling pretty minging!

It's the anniversary of our engagement on the 1st of September and he's rubbish at doing anything normally I keep telling/ warning him if he doesn't il kill him but i think il go into full melt down if he doesn't make an effort this time ..

Thanks ecofreckle! That makes me feel better I suppose I just keep thinking a romanised idea of how things were maybe it's a bit hormonal hopefully all will be back to normal soonish xx

I'm afraid that's pretty normal and depending on how birth goes it'll be a fair while til it's all good again. I had a elcs 6 weeks ago and although my area is intact I can't have him put his person on my person, god knows when it's all going to be ok. We still have a wee snog though

Feel so much better it's not just me! I think with hormones I'm obsessing a bit.. He's never had a high sex drive I don't think he's ever so bothered either way I just want to feel like a fiancé rather than a beached whale lol!

Op I got pregnant a couple of days before our wedding so there was a massive slice of newlywed life that was very very unsexy! I didn't feel like a carefree new bride at all. I felt worried that that part of my life was over! But it's not. It's all phases and things slot back if you make a wee bit of effort to make it so. Don't worry
for now would be my advice.

Some of us haven't been allowed to since bfp! On blood thinners, DTD = bleed = hospital for scan (high risk).

I'm not worried tbh. Its a very special set of circumstances, something new. After birth and with a new baby it will be a challenge for any couple so my philosophy is some relationship "skills" get put on ice awhile so they don't mask any gaps in other relationship skills.
Its frustrating don't get me wrong, but I don't think it will be forever and I do think personally it helps focus the mind out of the romance to the "how do we get on as a team when its no romantic/sexy time...?" Which is uuseful to know.

My OH is a typical bloke and as sensitive as a brick I think if he just managed one bunch of flowers or to remember to ask how I am without being slapped it would help but hey it's nothing new just feeling a bit neglected il tell him off again he might manage ten mins being nice tomorrow! X

Wow so many of us in the same boat, thought it was just us!
Separate beds & me feeling about as attractive as a giant cabbage. DH spends most of his free time at the gym also so we're like passing ships.
He has stepped up this trimester though, doing more housework & feeding me! We just have zero romance, I'm relaxing a bit more about it now though, there's nothing to be done about it, we have a child to lavish attention on soon it's just going to be a portion of our lives where we're not feeling as close but I'm sure it'll return!

Yes exactly.

I am a bit about all this pressure to be sexy when v pregnant from daily mail type articles. Yeah sex is great but sometimes other things take priority and then if you feel under pressure it makes it much more awkward and guilty rather than "just a phase" when pregnant and with a tiny baby.

I feel about as sexy as a potato. Boyfriend is quite cuddly though, so he's relatively easy to please. Sex was fine for ages, it's only the last few weeks when I've had achey lady-bits and really just don't want them touched by anything. Luckily I tend to enjoy the giving of a blowjob, so he hasn't 'suffered' too much in that department. I can't wait until sex is normal again though - we're banking on February (just to be on the safe side.. Christmas would be preferred).

Another one here! I feel like a big fat blob not sexy and not attractive I feel awkward trying to be hot in the bedroom with my massive arse and belly and my giant tits flopping around everywhere I cant even see my vahina let alone shave the 80s fro I got going on these days .. Can't wait to get my size 8 bod back we are like housemates at the moment and it's making me feel so so shit.

I think I've got the start of SPD so not feeling like DTD at all. We like you haven't been intimate since April/March. Longest we've ever been without but I was worried about miscarriage (had a friend who had a stillbirth at 26 weeks that she puts down to DTD. Could have been anything but planted ideas in my head I couldn't shake). After that I think as I started getting a bigger bump and it had already been so long DH just doesn't seem amorous anymore. Maybe he feels weird about the baby being in there. We still cuddle though and I'm sure we'll get the physical side back after the birth (well a good few weeks after anyway!)

I think what upset me was my OH saying it was weird to dtd when pregnant and pulling faces made me feel fantastic!! I'm over it now but it does feel much like room mates which makes me feel sad.

I just need a bit more in the way of affection without me having to nag but hey ho..

I am 20 weeks and we are having lots of sex at the moment but I am wondering if that will continue.

We have some friends who were having twins. He hated her being pregnant because she became voracious sexually and was waiting behind the front door every night when he got home from work and was waking him up in the morning before he went to work. He said he just dreaded it, he was exhausted by it and began staying out after work and going to a local cafe for a cup of tea and a bun to get a bit of peace. She said she knew how he felt but she was just feeling horny all the time. this went on until she gave birth. DH was horrified by the story- thought she sounded like a big spider.