I don't know what to do help

[Kent1982]

Hi all I never thought I would be in this situation but I'm 31 I'm 8 weeks pregnant and I feel like everything is a mess, my partner and I were having difficulties up to me finding I was pregnant when I told him he was happy so everything seemed all steam ahead. He then went away for a couple of weeks and returned now I can't stop crying, I don't feel like he loves me at all. Maybe I'm imagining it all. He has just gone out and I have just packed my things to leave but I know if I go that's it. No baby, back at my house and on my own. I know loads of women do it on their own but I just can't, my maternity is pretty rubbish and I have some huge financial commitments, my job is really high pressure and not the sort of thing I could do as a single mother. I just can't stop crying all the time. I do want kids but I am so scared as I never saw myself being alone, I'm worried this could be my only chance and if I don't do it now I might never get the chance again. I really don't have anyone to talk to as only my mum knows and she is thrilled so I can't tell her how I feel. Does anyone have a magic wand to make things right? I know some people have a much worse deal than me and awful stuff going off it's not like I have been abused but I just don't know what to do and for me a baby is a major major thing.

Hey Kent
Its a worrying time, and the beginning is the worst, especially if you aren't in a stable relationship. I know!
Sounds like you need to speak to someone, and perhaps someone thats not close to you. Have a look at the bpas website. They offer a counselling session, you can chat to someone about your options and make an informed decision. You also of course need to chat through the way you are feeling with OH, he could just be having a freak out as, like you say it is a major thing.
You have time on your side. Try not to panic and think through your options so you can make the right choice for you.

Great advice off scoobs.

Just to add, when I was 8weeks, my partner described me as a psycho...I'd cry over the most stupid things & made everything into a bigger thing than it was. Hormones are evil & they do settle. Things might not be as bad as it seems but I agree you need someone to talk to. Good luck with your decision x

Bless you op

You do sound hormonal which is to be expected

Put your things away and sleep on it

Hi Kent,
Stay right where you are, you may see it differently tomorrow, during my previous and current pregnancy I was incredibly hormonal, I didn't realise during my outbursts but certainly once the hormones had settled I knew I wasn't being myself. Your body is undergoing a huge change and it's only normal to feel insecure about yourself and your relationship.

During my first I felt certain that my OH was only with me because I was pregnant, I used to ask him when he had been drinking just to be sure, totally irrational in hindsight but perfectly logical at the time. Fortunately he was aware if my hormonal imbalance and told me not to be silly.
Scooby's advise is sound, definitely talk to someone, or your midwife for a little reassurance. It will pass and you'll feel more stable before you know it. Talk to your OH too about how you're feeling, men are stupid, they see women as quantum physics so you need to be blunt when it comes to feelings. Hope you're feeling better soon x

If my friends and family are to be believed, I think there are many lovely guys who take AGES to get used to the reality of a new pregnancy. Even though we had both decided to ttc, my OH was like a roller coaster for the first few months after my bfp - slowly the ups and downs have become less frequent. Emotional hormones don't help when they're having a wobble because all we girls want is to feel wrapped up and secure and know that we are getting our 'happy ever after'. As pp has said, time is on your side - Try to find some inner strength, give him some time to compute what is happening and get used to the idea and then have a calm and honest conversation with him. Good luck x

Hi Kent, how are you feeling today?

You say your partner went away for a couple of weeks, was this a planned holiday or had he run away scared somewhere?
It's true what the other posters are saying, that a man only really becomes a father when the baby is born, but for women motherhood starts as soon as that test turns positive.
Wishing you all the best xx

Ha ha all here is the update, he returned 5 minutes later and distracted me with some sweets and today I can't even remember why I was upset. I think I might mention to the midwife that I am losing the plot, see if she has any suggestions how I can calm myself down. He didn't notice I had packed loads of stuff up thank god or he might have had me sectioned

Hormones will make you crazy. You're not alone! Pleased to hear it worked out. (Sweets definitely help! Fair play to your man!)