How/when do you tell people if Baby has Downs'?

[Mishee]

I'm an 'older mum' at 37 and turned down screening, because we will love and cherish Baby, who will always be perfect to us. However, I do wonder, if s/he is born with Downs', how to tell people. I wouldn't want to say it in such a way that people would feel awkward or sad for us. Does that make sense?

hi mishee, we got our parents to tell the rest of the family (bit of a cop-out). It was a sad time for us - a bolt out of the blue really, and I don't remember telling anyone other than my mum (sobbing down the phone). I think dh told most of the other people in our life, he was just matter-of-fact about it, and we got some very touching cards.

To be honest, people will feel sorry or awkward for you however you dress it up.
I'm totally, utterly fine with dd2 (who is 5) having DS now and I still get the odd person telling me they're sorry.
You can say something like 'Don't worry, we're not sorry, you don't have to be either.' if you're more quick-witted than me.

We sent out a birth announcement that read 'Dd2 was born with an extra chromosome 21, a condition known as Down's syndrome. It is a small part of who she is and who she will become.', I think that helped to set the right tone with people.

we basically knew before hand and told our families however we waited until dd1 was born - we simply sent out announcements that said dd1 had been born and very our very closest friends told them via phone or by face - almost as an aside.

Our biggest thing like geekgrrl says in their announcement it was such a small part of who dd1 is that we did not want it to be a focus.

Luckily in a way for us - dd1 had a serious heart defect and so for the first three months or so - life was centred around getting her strong enough for surgery, recovering from surgery etc. The Down syndrome took a back seat and was just part of her.

We also just wanted people to be excited for us - this was our first baby and we were excited and pleased to have her in our lives.

Hope that helps.

Thanks very much for both messages. I just want to be prepared. Am already getting annoyed when people stop talking about the current storyline in Eastenders when I walk into a room, in case it upsets me. As far as I'm concerned, my baby will be wonderful and if anyone has a problem with how s/he turns out, it's there problem, not mine!