second time mums or anyone for that matter- please reassure me!

[ithoughtofitfirst]

9 weeks to go and just went to visit my friend's new baby (who was lush fiy) with my toddler in tow only to find that was absolutely horrified to see me holding a newborn. As in crying his eyes out, grabbing my trousers, hand in his mouth saying 'baby nooo baby nooo'

I am still in shock I've never seen him react like that. He is never clingy and never cries when I leave him my mum or, on occasion, at nursery. Wtf?!!

I was hormonal and spent all afternoon crying about it lol. I'm basically panicked that I now have 9 weeks to get him ready. I'll be BF too so the baby will be, just as my ds was, attached to the boob constantly.

What do I do? Any experiences?? Thanks Xx

Ds did this to me only once a a toddler group. His sister was due any moment and so we prepared him by going out and buying her a gift and getting him a big brother t-shirt etc. We looked at baby books and talked about how he could help me with the baby. He also talked to my bump and told her all about our family etc!
When she did arrive he was the first to visit, I made sure she was in the cot, not on me and had a gift ready for him from her.
He came running into the ward asking if his sister was here yet? He has loved her ever since - sometimes too much!

Really?! That's awesome purple !! thanks for the tips.

That's such a relief!

My son has know for ages I'm pregnant not an easy ride for me so mummys been poorly, he's so excited calls her my daughter but I'm sure he won't be when she's here! Asked him today about it and he was very unsure hoping he's ok with it

My ds has been saying 'i want a baby' for months, pushing dollies in prams, going up to real babies in prams for a peek and he hugs my bump all the time ... I thought I'd got away with it!

My DD1 was always happy for me to hold babies so I was lucky in that respect. However, DH and I agonised for ages over how to deal with the arrival of DD2. I think we were pretty successful.

Present from new baby.

No visitors for 2 weeks. This meant that by the time people arrived to coo over DD2, DD1 was over it!

Always answered the door to visitors with DD1, NOT DD2. This meant that visitors had to engage with DD1 first and she didn't feel pushed out, even when they did get to DD2.

During paternity leave, DH's main focus was DD1. They did lots of activities (soft play, swimming,zoo...) So DD1 didn't see DD2 as the end to all her fun.

Asking DD1 to help. 'Can you fetch me a nappy?' ' Choose a teddy for DD2' etc.

Lots of new baby story books. This was a brilliant one.

Also good.

Good luck . I'm sure it will all turn out fine. There is a big difference between someone else's baby and a sibling.

Thank you so much for the tips and link. The little books brought a little tear to my eye Haha probably the hormones. I'm sure everyone feels this way but seeing my little baby react that was heartbreaking :(

Watching with interest.
I've also got 9 weeks to go but ds is only 14m so too young to understand books etc.
he's going through a very clingy stage and crying when I leave room etc so starting to panic slightly.

We bought 2 "I'm a big sister!" books and read them to DD1 a lot. We really stressed that the baby was her new family too and always call her "our baby". Six months later, DD1 still pulls out the big sister books to read, often on days I feel like she is having jealousy issues. I think these books helped so much because they focus on the relationship between the toddler and the baby, so she feels less left out. I also let DD1 help, by throwing away a nappy or picking out DD2's clothes for example. We just started giving DD2 solids, and DD1 was excited to give her a spoonful!

Also we didn't even start trying to prepare her until about 2 months before the baby was due. I think that is plenty of time p

Thanks josie that's really helpful!

Mine was like that at first, so I borrowed babies whenever possible. I didn't fuss over them, just got him used to seeing babies in my arms.

I also got ds used to some slightly different routines, such as reading to him with him sitting next to me on the sofa, rather than on my lap, and him holding the book instead of me (needed a cushion on his lap to help support the book). This meant that later on I could still read to ds while holding/bfing the baby, as if nothing had changed.

I did not tell ds that I was having a baby until about 34w, by which time he had got used to seeing me holding other babies.

Also a ring or loop-type sling can be very helpful when you are bfing, as you can bf one-handed and have a hand free to engage with the toddler.

There's Going to be a Baby had me outing my eyes out in the Library!

But apart from that wee incident, we did very similar to purple.

I also liked Za Za's Baby Brother" (even though I knew I was having a girl second time), because it goes on after the baby is born.

Thanks ladies, amazing tips. The sling idea is brilliant. I have the one I used last time which I used so I could cook dinner and stuff while BF.

I bought him a doll baby yesterday and he cried, stuffed her back in the box and wouldn't stop crying until I put her on top of the fridge. 100% success !