How I approach the subject of our dogs ?

[Firstpregnancy2014]

Abit of advice needed!
We live in a large one bedroom flat - we have been trying to move before baby arrives in November but so far had no luck.
Living in a one bed flat with a baby doesn't bother me - however behind our move was mainly our dogs. We have two small dogs.
I adore my dogs. Both 12 months old, we love taking them for big walks and they get a lot of attention.

However I'm really worried about being able to cope when baby is here .. When I'm at home on my own I think ill struggle. When I take the dogs out the flat to go for a wee I will need to take baby, when I get up in the night ill to feed baby I will disturb dogs. It's not like I can just let them out in the garden.

How can I tell my partner ? I'm seriously consideringn finding good homes for them. It's breaking my heart typing this but my baby needs to come first, my dogs are the friendliest things in the world and used to children. But i would never forgive myself if something happened and made them snap.

Am I over Thinkjng this ? What would you do? I feel bad saying it would make my life easier - which it would. I would miss them so much but I need justification for my partner he loves them so much Aswell so I'm scared he will just say no!

Phew! I thought you meant like an indoor cat - which I think is pretty hard on the cat ...

As far as I understand it, the 'pack theory' of alphas etc has been utterly discredited. It was based on research around wolves in captivity who showed signs of stressed behaviour when forced to live in groups with unrelated wolves.

Dogs are not trying to control you or be leader of the pack and training based on showing that you are 'alpha' is thus pretty useless.

Setting boundaries isn't about teaching inferiority. It's about setting boundaries.

I really hope op can make it work as it must be very difficult for a dog to lose it's home and it's trusted human after a year. It's definitely worth a try as there are lots of practical things you can do as people have already mentioned with cots, slings and gates.

Our dogs a member of the family, he doesn't go on the sofa because he makes it stink or upstairs, but that's his choice.

He's well trained, with positive reinforcement, and has no need to be treated like he's 'inferior'

Yeah, like kids,I agree.

It's my first mn post after lurking around a while! I have a 6 month old DD and a 18m old terrier cross. Puppy is/was very boisterous and I was initially worried about how he would be (DP doesn't like walking him as he's a bit of a handful and he's my dog, as he didn't want one). After my initial worries I decided to try it and see how difficult it would be. And I'm happy to say it's worked brilliantly. It gave me a reason to get out of the house every single day. I bought DD a baby snow suit and a carrier and off we went. She loved it when she was tiny. And we invested in baby gates for the lounge door and I just make sure pup corms out with me if I ever leave the room.

He's fantastic, our crazy mad puppy acts like a different dog around her. I set up all the baby stuff before she was born and started training him to stay away from it all. He's never even picked up a stray toy. And it's so easy now We are weaning as he does most of the floor cleaning

As a dog handler and a trained dog behavourist; the 'pack' thing is total bollocks. Excuse my language. A dog is not a wild animal and pack is used for survival in the wild, helps maintain the balance. As Spero said, most have been discredited and rightly so.

I can't thank everyone enough for the positive words today
Have spoken to partner- we are going to start the training this weekend.They are good dogs- just young and I think my huge loss in a support network has panicked me.
I'm sat here now after a long day at work with one dog on my feet and one dog snoring so loud I can't hear the tv.. It's bliss !!

However also... I posted a thread other day in regards to a family member wanting to buy me a gift but I thought I had everything. Now I realise I need a sling!
Does anyone have any reccomendations?

If you don't mind me saying so, it sounds to me like you've got a lot going on here. You're pregnant, it wasn't planned so you're adjusting to a different life story than you thought, and you've only just lost your mum. That's a whole lot to process, even before you factor in the hormones and physical changes you're facing.

I lost my mum a little while ago too and I found that the shock of it made me hyper-aware of how fragile everything is and, without realising it, I started trying to anticipate possible disasters so I could protect myself and everyone else. It's very natural to fixate on what could go wrong when you've just experienced losing a parent - everything seems so much harder and like you're on your own somehow.

For what it's worth, I'd suggest you give yourself a bit of time before making big decisions. Like many others have said, plenty of people manage with dogs and babies at the same time and if you want to, I'm sure you can too. If you decide that you don't want to and you start looking for responsible homes for them, that's ok too. People can be very judgemental about dog ownership but only you can say what's in their, and your, best interests. But I'd suggest that if you're in the early stages of grieving, you might not be best placed to make that kind of decision and could find that you regret your choice further down the line - something that will make it harder for you to heal overall.

Take heart; take care xx

I'm glad you've had a chat and decided to give the dogs a chance and some training

I can highly recommend the Manduca sling, I'm only selling mine at 20 months because dd just won't be strapped in to anything any more sniff so it no longer gets used. I can when she isn't wriggling still very comfortably carry her for long walks without any aches or pains. I have used it considerably more than the pushchair as so much easier for getting around, leaves hands free for leads picking up poops and of course all the extra cuddles!

You could try www.borrowmydoggy.com and see if people would be willing to walk your dogs for you for free!

As a vet the tips we give for people bringing a baby home with any pet are:

Get a youtube video of a baby crying and play on low volume every day, gradually increasing volume. Play in nursery and also in main room that pet lives in. This will acclimatise them to the sudden strange noises baby makes.

Have nursery pre setup and allow pet in room but don't allow it to sleep in room. You need the pet to realise that the room isn't that interesting and that it doesn't want to be in there.

Never leave nursery door open with a pet in the house! If you are going to use a baby gate for a dog start using it before baby arrives. Remember cats can sneak into a room and hide. My mum got a hell of a shock when day when she went into the nursery and found one of the cats in my bassinet with me, the door was closed!

For a cat get a Feliway diffuser, for a dog get a DAP diffuser. These release pheromones that make the animal feel safe and secure. You may need several round the house. Can buy online or pet shops or vet.

Give the pet a safe space somewhere else in the house that they can go to, it won't just be the noise of the baby but also all the visitors that can upset them! If you need to lock them in a room/crate then get them used to it before baby arrives.

Any changes to their routine should be instigated before baby arrives. If walks or feeding times will change then change them at least one month before.

The washing machine is going to be on a lot, make sure your pet is fine with the noise. If your cat doesn't like it make sure their litter tray isn't near the washing machine! they might be fine with using it if the machine is only on every few days, they won't if it is on every day and you will get accidents in the house.

Never ever leave a baby/small child with a cat or a dog. They can get jealous and they can be vindictive! Animals are far more intelligent then they are given credit for! It is their house too and they were there first!

Be very careful of animals knocking over bassinets. One of my friend's small dog would take a run and a jump at it as soon as it was allowed in the room! Let the pet first see the bassinet with baby smell without baby in it, so you can see how it will react.

Don't suddenly dangle the baby in front of them or invite them to come and sniff it. Take a cloth wipe it over the baby and then take the cloth to the pet in another room where they feel safe, allow them to get used to the baby smell that way. The first time they are in the room with baby and you, pay baby no attention and full attention to pet. The baby should just be there but isn't the main focus, so only do when napping and somewhere pet can't reach!

Make sure someone in the house puts aside some time for the pet, even if it just 15 mins a day that is just their time, where they get cuddles and attention.

Hope this helps and doesn't alarm anyone too much.