I'm feeling pretty down and can't sleep. I was feeling great and so positive up until around 2 weeks ago. Then I had some bad news (a family member died), but it wasn't unexpected and I was well prepared for it. On top of this, work has been stressful in terms of trying to get things finished before maternity leave, which starts tomorrow, and I think I also have mixed feelings about starting maternity leave. I know most people are really excited about it, and on one hand I am, but on the other hand I'm sad to leave.
It's not going to be the most relaxing start to maternity leave. Tomorrow, after work, we have to drive 4 hours to go to the funeral on Friday. Then on Saturday it is 3.5 hours drive to go to a family get together, followed by a 2 hour drive home. I know we don't have to go to this, but I think next week when I have bags of time I would regret not going. Plus I'm hoping that socialising might lift my spirits.
On top of all this I feel incredibly guilty. I shouldn't be feeling so down when I am about to meet my baby. And I feel like I'm not bonding with baby enough. I should be talking or singing more to my bump, but I just can't seem to find the words :-(
Is how I'm feeling in anyway normal? I don't know whether to put it down to my family member passing away, or nerves or something else.