37 weeks and feeling down :-(

[allduffedup]

I'm feeling pretty down and can't sleep. I was feeling great and so positive up until around 2 weeks ago. Then I had some bad news (a family member died), but it wasn't unexpected and I was well prepared for it. On top of this, work has been stressful in terms of trying to get things finished before maternity leave, which starts tomorrow, and I think I also have mixed feelings about starting maternity leave. I know most people are really excited about it, and on one hand I am, but on the other hand I'm sad to leave.

It's not going to be the most relaxing start to maternity leave. Tomorrow, after work, we have to drive 4 hours to go to the funeral on Friday. Then on Saturday it is 3.5 hours drive to go to a family get together, followed by a 2 hour drive home. I know we don't have to go to this, but I think next week when I have bags of time I would regret not going. Plus I'm hoping that socialising might lift my spirits.

On top of all this I feel incredibly guilty. I shouldn't be feeling so down when I am about to meet my baby. And I feel like I'm not bonding with baby enough. I should be talking or singing more to my bump, but I just can't seem to find the words :-(

Is how I'm feeling in anyway normal? I don't know whether to put it down to my family member passing away, or nerves or something else.

You are allowed to feel stressed and down about finishing work. It is increadibly stressful to do. And it is nice to get on mat leave but I also felt I lost some of my identity as I suddenly went from being a full time worker to a housewife overnight. Also the stress if getting things finished is inevitable. But if something gets missed or isn't handed over tegu will just have to cope. I had a midwife appointment on my last day and when I got there my bp was 140/94.

As for the family member-no matter how much notice you have a death will hit you hard. You would be grieving if not pregnant so allow yourself to grieve now. It is healthy. Take the opportunity to use the funeral as a time to talk to family and have a good catch up. Means that you can delay seeing some of them for a bit longer after the birth too which will be a godsend. You may also find you feel closer to baby after the weekend. 2 days of family members fawning over you and bump will make it feel a lot more real. Just be prepared to spend a lot if time answering the same questions over and over!!!!

Now time for us both to try and get some sleep xx

Thank you misty. I managed to get a few hours sleep in the end so feeling a bit better now.

Glad you managed to get some sleep and are feeling a bit better. Apologies for my bad typing in the early hours of the morning xx