Terrfied!!! Pregnant Again

[southportmum]

So then about ten days ago I got a BFP,should be 7+2 now this has left me in joy and anxiety all at once.

Over the last couple of years I have had an eptopic, chemical pregnancy an mmc and 3mcs. opnly with the last one did I have the dnc.

Im struggling to enjoy this pregnancy as I know more than likely it will all end tears.

I have 2 ds with my ex-husband. Only with my new husband have the problems occurred.

The difference with this pregnancy is I have had no bleeding, feel very sick and all round feels very different to previous pregnancies. when I did the test it was very strong and was actually coming up positive before the end of the strip was even wet.

I dont want to book into EPAU early as in the past that's when things have gone wrong. However, DH thinks its very important to go straight away. Where as I think while im not bleeding and have strong pregnancy symptoms I wouldn't hurt to wait another couple of weeks. I had an early pregnancy scan at 6 weeks saw a heartbeat felt really good and went back a week later and all ended in tears.

What do I do??? I can see DH is very worried about it all and my health as well but I just struggle with EPAU dept as I feel they have left me with more questions than answers in the past!!!

I would avoid EPAU myself in your shoes. Savour this as long as you can (hopefully it will be OK anyhow and you'll make the finish line)

It's not like they can do anything even if there was a problem this early. Unless you suddenly had severe pain I would avoid at all costs. It would increase my anxiety to go...

Good luck! Congratulations

'If it ain't broke, don't fix it!' You're right not to want to go to epu as there doesn't appear to be anything wrong. I'd go only if you started bleeding, getting pain etc. good luck and congratulations

And... breathe. Its easier said than done I know but stressing over it isn't going to help anyone. I agree don't go to EPU, just try to get on with things and take each day one at a time. Try to do 'normal' stuff so you aren't focussed on it but I do know this is easier said than done.

and congrats

Hey congratulations! :)
I wouldn't go to the epu personally, not if you have no reason to. Strong pregnancy symptoms are a brilliant positive and the fact this pregnancy feels different than the pregnancies you lost.
My advice is to stay in the present, nothing bad is happening right now, everything is fine. I know it's hard but try not to think of what happened before. This is a different pregnancy and chances are, things will be ok.
When you visit your gp chances are they might offer you a reassurance scan anyway. It's up to you wether you take it or not, if it's going to cause more anxiety than reassurance.
I'm wishing you positivity and the very best of luck :) remember stay in the present and don't think about bad things that aren't even happening. X

Have you contacted your GP and local Antenatal services and been asked to be placed under consultant care? Do this now. You are 100% entitled to this and TLC treatment (i.e. extra scans etc') for some reason improve outcomes. After your history you should have had some investigations at a redcurrent miscarriage clinic - even if you haven't had the main ones there may be some blood tests (uterus/cervix structure scan, thyroid, some coagulant tests- has your husband had a translocation test? This is where some of his sperm DNA might not work as well- some will be just fine, meaning only some pregnancies are destined to work out) they can run to help you: you need to be firm about this. Go via your local antenatal self referral (google them or via your GP) take details of all your losses - with your history they should give you a consultant and you are well within your rights to push for this.

BTW your 'chemical pregnancy' should medically be classed as a miscarriage, albeit an early one when explaining to GP/Midwife the issue over the phone.

Fight your instinct not to tell people: for some reason medics just knowing and scanning early has a significant positive impact on outcomes for recurrent miscarriers. Go straight to your GP/EPU! It is something you can do to help this pregnancy.

Ignore people who tell you to just snap out of it: it's virtually impossible. It's like asking someone with clinical anxiety not to worry or a phobia to just chill about spiders. YOUR ANXIETY WILL BE BAD FOR YOU BUT DO NOT WORRY ABOUT HURTING THE EMBRYO! :)

It is perfectly normal to be this frightened if you are a repeat miscarrier and pregnant: in fact, some specialists want it listed and treated as a symptom of pregnancy for women like us, it is that common (Jon Cohen's book "Coming To Term" has an excellent chapter about this).
My clinic set me up with a perenatal psych nurse who gave me some CBT style support - it made pregnancy much, much easier psychologically.

It also helps to talk to people with a similar pregnancy history who are doing well in their current pregnancies. We have this thread on MN, no questions sound crazy because we've all been there! And are there still! Scroll through there are long lists of babies born to people with a similar medical history to us, and there is a lot of support on there:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2140166-Shiny-and-new-posifrickintivity-thread-for-pregnancy-after-miscarriage?pg=19

firstly, congratulations

i have been in your place. i had dd1 @ 18 & then had 11 miscarriages before finally giving birth to healthy ds1 4& a half years later.

i am now pregnant with dc5 ( early days) and i am also terrified. i have already been admitted with high bp, and had bloods to monitor hcg levels. i have a scan booked for tuesday. i have been put on beta blockers to lower my bp and i am panicking because i have renal disease and i stupidly googled

but... i also have bad morning sickness (not great but a gd sign), no bleeding and lots of symptoms (metal taste, sore boobs etc). these are all good signs that the pregnancy is doing well.

try not to panic. epu can be helpful and if you tell them how worried you are they should be able to put you in touch with someone.