So frightened!

[Lea2014]

Hi all, im currently waiting for my period almost one week late now and i am so so frghtened, we have been trying but i think reality is just kicking in now to whats actually happening. I suffer terrible with depression/anxiety and i feel like i am making myself ill with worry. Has anyone else felt scared like this with their first? Im at my witts end im almost wishing my period to come.

Oh you poor thing. Take a test so you know what you're dealing with. It's a terrifying time, planned or not. My baby is planned for and much loved, but I've still been scared for the last 37 weeks! Good luck x

Thank you for responding mssleepyhead. Everytime i think of it i start crying. Is it normal to feel scared i really need to try and relax its so hard everytime it pops into my head i get this horrible sinking feeling i dont feel normal x

It's the scariest thing I've ever done. But you need to know what you're dealing with so you know what you're scared of! Do you have a test you can take?

No i have been holding out for my period as been late in past and been a false alarm. I think im scared to take one as i will no for sure then. I need to try and not worry but its easier said than done. x

A week over should be enough to give you an accurate result. Maybe get a test today and take it when your partner is home so you don't have to go through it alone, whatever the result? I wouldn't tell you not to worry : ) worry away! But take the test sooner rather than later, so you know one way or the other x

I'm going to try and pluck up the courage today. Men just seem to sail through life whilst us ladies are left to all the hard work. Thanks for your support you have made me stop crying and feeling bit better xx

If you want a baby/children, focus on that. If the problem is more that you are actually having doubts about starting a family, that's another issue. Hope you get a test soon so you can move on - and past your panic.

Ive wanted a baby for so long and evey other month when i have been getting my period there has been that little bit of sadness so i dont know why i am feeling this way, i'm 29 and dying to start a family x

I guess you're feeling this way because you want it so much : ) that's ok! Try and take a test today, so then you'll know. If it's positive, it's scary in a whole new way : ) but at least you'll know what you're dealing with. Very good luck and come back and let us know : )

I will certainly be back to let you know :) thanks again for the support x

The hormones also do mad things to your head. I have suffered with similar problems in the past and had a really tough time right from the word go last time. I eventually went to the Gp and they put me in touch with the perinatal mental health team who were fabulous. They offered me lots of support and it made the process so much easier. They also talked to my husband and family and explained what was happening to me and helped them offer the support I needed. I was so worried about postnatal depression, but just knowing I as not on my own and that people were checking on me was a huge relieve. There are lots of options to help reduce those unwanted worries. I was visited at home and had support over the phone. In fact one day when I missed a phone consultation because I was stuck in traffic I arrived home to find the nurse on my door step. She had just come to make sure I was ok. They didn't force me into medication but we knew it as there if I needed it. They kept saying they would do whatever they could to relieve the aniaxty even if that meant leaving me alone. Hope this helps. It may be horrid now but it will get better and as everyone will always tell you it really is worth it. I now have a gorgeous one year old boy, am as stable as I have been in years and am 28 weeks pregnant with a girl. In addition, as a result of the tools I was taught last time I have been nowhere near as anxious and have had a much, much better pregnancy. Xxx

Thank you so much for your advice Lucy955 it really does help knowing others have felt this way also, its a scary time for anyone im sure but the thoughts and panic im feeling isnt nice one bit i will certainly look into this further (havent had the courage to take a test yet ill with worry) but knowi need to get one done, i smiled when i read about your little boy and baby girl on the way :) well done you xx

I panicked like hell before I found out I pregnant, but I think it can be put down to hormones. It is perfectly natural to be worried/a bit frightened, after all, having a baby changes your life. but if its what you want focus on all the good things about having a baby, and about pregnancy! good luck with the test

Thanks mommajay26 the hormones probably do have a lot to do with it. I am sometimes ok but then have these moments of dread where my heart just sinks and i worry about everything. Us woman got the short straw i think! x

oh yeah we do! what is it you worry about particularly? it is a worrying time, I was so worried when I first found out I was pregnant I wouldn't even run up the stairs! it does get easier

Jaycie x

I was the same. I am a big worrier. Told myself to do a test and if it was negative then there was no need to worry. If its positive (and it was) I could deal with it and the support I need.

Just hope the next 8 month or so fly over

x

I worry about if im going to be a good mam worry about work and money...just wory worry worry. I try and switch off and go with the flow but sometimes the negative thoughts just take over and i feel utter dread. I am now offically OFF coffee..just the thought yak! Usually cant function without a morning coffee but cant hack any. I still need to do a test just so scared xx

Ime what ever life throws at you as a mother you cope.
Im a big worrier. Im 37weeks pg with dc3. My biggest worry is ds1 who has sn and health problems but all that worry get pushed to the side when them babies need their mamas trust me. Its like a survival instinct. None of that matters all that matters is that you and your family are well.

You made me cry reading your reply ilovemonsterinc...this is beyond a joke i cried at eastenders the other evening what is going on x

Sorry I didn't mean to upset you
Just wanted to tell you my version of your story iyswim.
kids are always a worry and when silly thoughts and anxiety take hold it can be horrible. I really try my hardest not ti give into my fears. I actually tell myself face your fears and they will go away as you wont be scared anymore. Facing them is the hardest bit and is easier said than done but is better in the long run.

If it helps this baby im pg with now wasnt planned. I had anxiety for months. My youngest has just turned 1 so there will be 13months gap! But ive told myself tough shit, we will cope as we have to and time doesn't stop in a difficult situation so it's finding a way to cope. Right now for me its making sure they are both in bed before 7.30 so I can get cleaned and relax before baby comes.
Harder with ds1.

Its ok i know you didnt mean it...im certainly going to try my very best to face them head on and get through this panic stage....I love the told myself tough shit bit!!! Its true i suppose we havent got a choice but to cope have we :) You seem to have your hands full and heres me half hour away from my lunch at work and i'm dozing off i have a cheek to say i am tired when their are woman like yourself pregnant with other kids also...you need a big pat on the back lv xx

Thank you.

Early days in pregnancy arent easy. I had lots of panic attacks in the first trimester so if you are pregnant you can blame it on the pregnancy lol

Oooh also another thing I remember is when ds1 was inhhospital last there was a little girl who was fully disabled she couldn't move by herself or talk she was just laid in the next bed. Her mum was telling me about her. Theres always someone worse off than you. I know it doesn't help you directly.

When I went to triage once I had been waiting a while so went up to ask head mw whats going on and I said I have to get back to ds who is tube fed and he needs medicines. She said what's wrong with him so I told her and she turned round and said her daughter is tube fed and shea deaf blind has heart condition etc.

Lea, I have wanted a baby for years, but when my period was late, I started to panic (I'm a panicker anyway!). I was scared to do the test in case it was positive and then I would freak out. But in the end it was fine - I felt like at least I knew for sure, and also the fact that there was no way of getting out of it was kind of good - I preferred the certainty of knowing! I'm now 34 weeks, and have mostly been ok, although I'm waiting to freak out at some point! I have such bad anxiety that I can hardly
leave the house sometimes, but so far I've been ok.

When I got the positive result, I did have to tell some friends before I told my family - I found that it helped to tell people who wouldn't be quite so overcome with excitement.

Good luck!

ilovemonstersinc you are a little ray of sunshine :)

Whynotsmile its gd to hear you suffer the same and you are doing just fine...its such a scary time i dont know why women carry on having children..its musnt be that bad haha x