I think I have ante natal depression, 35 weeks and cannot stop crying

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My mood has been on a downward spiral for about four weeks now but the last few days have been the worst. I have felt largely ambivalent about this baby/pregnancy for most of the pregnancy...not sad as such just feelings of unreality (I had major surgery last year, after a four month recovery period we decided to start trying - it had taken a year to conceive DS1, This baby was conceived first month of trying so something of a shock).

I have been incredibly tired and fatigued throughout the pregnancy and feel that this has been to the detriment of my relationship with DS1, he used to be a real mummy's boy but now calls for Daddy or our nanny before me. I have become obsessed with how much I drank earlier in pregnancy (not loads, never "got drunk" but would pretty regularly drink one or two glasses of wine with dinner). I am overseas and away from family. I just feel so disparing and am terrified of feeling like this when the baby arrives. We don't really see midwives here but I have a female obgyn who is nice and I am seeing tomorrow. Just wondered if anyone could hold my hand until then. DH being lovely but keeps suggesting i "go for a swim", I can't even bear the thought of getting out of bed at the moment...thank you for reading

Bump

you poor thing, I think at 35 weeks it is tougher....not being able to do the stuff you want to, uncomfortable...I've been tearful too, it feels every few days I have a sobbing fit!!! for me I'm putting it down to hormones...but if you feel hopeless def talk to obgyn about it!! even just talking to someone different may feel like a weight lifted!!!!

Thank you. I just feel so anxious and fraught and am not coping well with, well, anything at all really. Still can't stop crying, everything feels so hard and the next four weeks feel like an eternity. :(

I feel for you... I'm in a similar boat, feel free to message me if you want to. Also feeling very down right now, not helped by living abroad with a ridiculous health system, am 32 weeks and am dreading the next few weeks. I've spent the morning crying at different people trying to make them understand me!

Oh porcito, I m sorry to here of someone in the same boat. A friend has just told me that my obgyn was very unsympathetic to someone else with these kind of feelings! Great! Just after we paid the deposit for delivery too, can't afford to change docs nowM. How I miss the NHS. Did anyone "hear" you today?

The annoying thing here is that I HAVE to go to the government hospitals to get my maternity leave, even though I've got my own obgyn for the birth. No one listened, they just looked at me like I was mad and sent me to see someone else! Hopefully your friend just heard of a bad experience and your obgyn will be sympathetic... I've found most people to be very understanding, which makes me cry even more!

I think it's a mixture of hormones, feeling so frustrated at not being able to do much for myself and exhaustion! I very much want this baby, but have spent the entire 8 months battling it seems! I am pinning all my hopes on there being a sudden cleansing of hormones after the baby's here so I'll feel normal again. Ha!

Yes I m thinking that this will go away once I have a healthy baby in my arms, but also terrified of pND. I m also just utterly terrified that I have done something to the baby by drinking a little, I basically just didn't really accept or believe that it was happening to me (the pregnancy).

Sorry, posted too soon. Do stay in touch and let me know how it goes? Is your DH supportive? Mine is being great but because of this issue with alcohol I feel I have really let him down and burst into tears whenever he comes near me.

Hi porcito, thought I would update this. I saw my obgyn on Tuesday and she was wonderful. It was so nice to be listened to. She prescribed three days of valium at night to get my sleep back on track then referred me to a psychologist who I saw for the first time yesterday. Seeing her was honestly one of the best things I have ever done, and I feel so much brighter already. Not myself again, and I don't think I will be until I hold a healthy baby, but much, much better. Please keep pushing to get some help for you too. I m thinking of you :)

Excellent news, thanks for the update! Fantastic that you're feeling brighter.

I'm seeing mine tomorrow so will chat to her too. I've slept better this past few days and have felt a lot less despairing so hopefully it's only a temporary thing.

Not long to go, and then we can hold our babies which will make everything feel better. I've also held on to things that are illogical that I'm convinced have done something bad to the baby, like eating some unpasteurized cheese (which is everywhere here). I drank like a monster in the early days too, but my ob wasn't at all concerned. In fact, last appointment, she recommended me wine to help me relax.It doesn't help when you have those thoughts in your head though. Grr, hormones!

Let's hope that all our anxiety and feeling like this is getting it out of our system before the big day! I did read somewhere that feeling like this beforehand isn't an indication that you'll have PND.

Today here is nice and sunny and I'm off work so I'm going to go throw myself in a pool and force myself to relax! Hope you carry on feeling better!