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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Learning to Drive?

21 replies

JennyBlueWren · 02/08/2014 16:12

I don't drive. I have had lots of lessons in the past and even tried the test once but become very stressed and panicky when driving and hated it so gave up. Most people are accepting of this and I get around well enough with my bike and public transport.

However now I'm pregnant everyone has been telling me that I'll have to learn to drive. My DH doesn't drive, hasn't tried and has made it quite clear that he doesn't want to. However a good friend of ours has insisted he'll teach me and I've been psyching myself up to fill out another provisional driving licence application.

So does anyone have a baby and not drive? Is it impossible as people say? I feel that people with cars feel they rely on them a lot whereas because I'm used to living around bus timetables I think I can manage without even with a baby.

Is it worth going through the stress of driving when pregnant?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Eatscones · 02/08/2014 16:45

I drive, however I'm from Canada and had to decide whether to go through the whole driving process in the UK or not. I like driving and being mobile that way so decided to go for it. I ended up taking my driver's test when i was 8 months pregnant.

As far as if it is necessary to drive because you have a baby ... no. You can get around by bus easily enough with a good pram. Currently my DH is using my car as his went bust and I've been fine without it. Sure I prefer having it, but if you know the bus system and you are happy with it, there is no reason why you cannot carry on with it.

WorrisomeHeart · 02/08/2014 16:48

I don't drive and am currently pg with DC 2. It was fine with DS but I am about to book an intensive 1 week course as I've decided I need my license with #2. We got around ok on public transport when there was just 1 - my major issue was when DS was really ill and I had to take him to A&E in a can as DH was at work.
So it definitely can be done, but tbh I'm quite looking forward to having wheels with two.

WorrisomeHeart · 02/08/2014 16:49

A&E in a CAB obv, not a can!!

Lally112 · 02/08/2014 16:54

I think it depends where you live, I live in rural Scotland with a bus stop half a mile away and a 'regular' bus service every two and a half hours so yes - driving is essential here, preferably big with good suspension and a decent set of all terrain tyres but if you live in a city where its not then I don't see why you have to? MN only opened my eyes to this recently, I have never lived in a town or city and I don't know anyone over 17 who cant drive.

NanooCov · 02/08/2014 17:05

Agree it depends where you live. I'm due in December and don't drive. Not too worried as the public transport round here is excellent but will eventually bite the bullet and learn so I can more easily get further afield into the country. DH drives so haven't felt urgent need to yet but I'm planning on a years maternity leave so will do it then.

weebairn · 02/08/2014 17:09

I drive but I drove very very little on maternity leave. It was lovely. Walks in the fresh air and rain with baby in sling or pushchair. All the time in the world, no rush. Got nice and fit again.

Depends where you live of course - I am city centre and absolutely loads to do within an hour or so's walk.

weebairn · 02/08/2014 17:10

I don't think you'll be able to use your bike until the baby is older.

Original poster

JennyBlueWren · 02/08/2014 18:11

I live in a country town (Scotland too) but with bus and train into the city and all services I need in town. I think I'll try lessons but see how stressful it gets. Probably won't cycle for a while but we are looking to get a cargo bike with baby seat which you can use before they can sit up.

OP posts:

springlamb · 02/08/2014 18:15

I learned to drive whilst I was pregnant. Passed my test at 34 weeks. It was a bit of a squash in the car on examination day! The examiner had a quiet word with my teacher beforehand to make sure I could carry out the required manouevres.
Circumstances meant I was extremely grateful for my licence and my little £250 1979 Opel Kadett when ds was born.
If you decide to do it, please do it with a proper driving school though!

romomum · 02/08/2014 18:33

I was taking driving lessons while preggers, then 18 weeks had test and failed . I found it too stressful so guess I will take it up after bubba is born and I start feeling myself again, then I can give it my all. If you don't feel like it or getting stressed about it wait....!! there are always other means of getting around, and not driving has never stopped me going anywhere or doing anything!!! good luck with what you decide . xx

Mistyautumn · 02/08/2014 19:13

Although not my story my hubby was similar to you learnt but hated the experience and found it very stressful. However, he found pregnancy a spur to learning again so I could get to hospital (told him I didn't intend to drive myself while in labour)

He went out if his way to find an instructor who specialised in confidence building and she was worth her weight in gold. If you are considering it - go and ask around to find a good confidence building professional instructor who will help you get over your fears.

He passed 2 weeks ago first time with this instructor!!!

LisaC2611 · 03/08/2014 08:20

I'd echo what mistyautumn said.

I've never been without a car since I was 17 but that's because my mum is a driving instructor.

Please do not allow a friend to teach you as they have no experience of teaching a nervous pupil who need their confidence building. Find yourself a highly recommended instructor who specialises in nervous pupils.
The other thing to remember is that if you find driving manual cars really stressful you could learn on an automatic. Whilst this will limit you slightly in your choice of cars in the future it is a good way to get out there driving and once you have built your confidence that way you could later try to take your test in a manual (if you feel the need). I learnt in a manual but drive an auto and don't think I would go back as it's so much easier and will be great when little one arrives.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

TeaRex · 03/08/2014 16:29

I've only just learnt, similar to you in that I had loads of lessons over the years but just couldn't get to grips with it.

Had my dd just over a year ago so had my whole pregnancy and nearly 9 months mat leave without being able to drive and it wasn't too bad. The only issues were HAVING to go out if it was tipping it down ie doctors appt and also meeting new mum friends if the place was in the next town etc, luckily I met some lovely ladies who very kindly gave me a lift (easy in the early days as the car seat is easily transportable) The other advantage I had was my husband could drive.

Anyhow, bit the bullet after Christmas and started learning again (I did pass my theory first) and did about 3/4 hrs a week. Passed on my second go on march 14th. I'm very pleased I've passed as it is great to have the option of how to get about (I'm also expecting again so not sure how I would cope with two and no car) also with being back at work/nursery drop offs etc I just wouldn't have managed without a car and my husband would have had to do it all.

My advise, learn in an automatic, I did. My big problem was the gears, I just could NOT do it lol, automatic is brilliant, means I can think about what's going on on the road and I'm not panicking about stalling the car at the traffic lights.
Also, if I were you I'd either choose to learn now or 6+ months after your baby is born, you'll be too tired in the first few months to do anything. Good luck with it :) x

Velvetbee · 03/08/2014 16:48

I learned whilst pregnant with DC4, the others were aged 10, 8 and 2. If you live somewhere with good public transport it's perfectly possible to manage without a car. And small children love public transport.

hubbahubster · 03/08/2014 17:22

I don't have a licence and have two DC. I took lessons while expecting DC2 and failed my test at 36 weeks. Three months on and I haven't driven since.

I think it depends where you live. DC1 loves the buggy board and hops on when he's too tired to walk, we have quite a few good parks and a couple of soft play areas within a 15 min walk, our friends and family are a bus or train ride away. It can be done. But it's quite frustrating sometimes as our car just sits on the driveway all week when I could be using it, as DH has a separate work vehicle.

Since DC2 won't take a bottle so far (she's 10 weeks) I can't leave her, meaning no lessons or retest for the foreseeable future. If you're going to learn, my advice is start ASAP before baby is born!

magpiegin · 03/08/2014 18:07

As others say, a lot of it depends on where you live. I am currently 35 weeks pregnant with spd and anaemia and I usually walk everywhere but at the moment I just can't. I would really struggle with the walk from home to the bus and bus to gp surgery etc. I am off work now and would be pretty much stuck at home if I couldn't drive. It just struck me as I mentioned it to my husband (for him to remind me not to try and walk places as I keep struggling to get home again!)

LBNM19 · 03/08/2014 18:13

I started to learn to drive when pregnant with dc1 but I never felt well/couldn't be bothered and gave up, when he was born it was fine we used to walk to the childrens centre, get on bus etc. but we do live in London. I do drive now I passed my test just before he turnt 2 and just bedore i fell pregnant this time, it was a much easier experience not being pregnant and glad I did now as i will have 2 children soon xx

MultipleMama · 03/08/2014 18:33

I drive but only when it's a longish journey by foot and I am carting 6DC around .

Where I live town centre and doctors etc are all 20mins+ drive.

And soon I'll be using it for school runs. We prefer to walk as much as possible but sometimes driving is less stressful when commuting with 6 young ones.

Original poster

JennyBlueWren · 03/08/2014 21:04

Thanks everyone for your responses.
I'm now thinking driving will be non-essential but worth trying and seeing how I get on with a good calming instructor (and friend to give some extra experience which I lacked last time).

I've also been done-in by anaemia recently but luckily bus stop is just across the road and stops right by the GP, and by my work, so I'll be fine for that. And when it comes to school run it'll be quicker to walk or cycle along pathways than to drive round to the school.

OP posts:

OneLittleToddleTerror · 03/08/2014 22:01

Surely depends on where you live as others have said? We have a bus service on tues to go to one shopping area (not really a village as I'm more in commuter land) and another on Friday to go to the bigger town centre. The only walkable shops are a tesco express, the vet, the doctors and the fish and chips. And a pub. I don't think anyone who doesn't drive can live here.

twiglet2 · 04/08/2014 09:56

I passed my test 3 years ago, age 28 and am so glad I did it. I don't drive much - I can walk into town and work in 10 mins from our house, but its great knowing I can drive to my parents house (just over an hour away) or pop to the supermarket, or meet friends who live elsewhere. I doubt I'll do a huge amount of driving when the baby arrives, but its nice to know I can if I want to. If you can afford the lessons and have the time now to do it, I would recommend it.

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