Bedrest strategies

[Maalia]

Dear MNers, my Dr found out my cervix was shortening (with funnelling), and recommended I had a cerclage. He also recommended I should stay on bedrest for remainder of pregnancy (another 20 weeks!) so I was wondering if any of you, lucky Ladies on bedrest, had any advice on strategies to stay, sane, fit and healthy. I understand nothing else matters but the baby's health, but I am feeling like I have been dealt a prison sentence!

What level of bedrest? I'm on modified bedrest (allowed to potter around at home, shower, bathroom etc. But lying down as much at possible). I've been here for 8 weeks, since 22 weeks.

I don't have any great ideas sadly! If you have people locally try to arrange a regular routine of visits. Even just once or twice a week keeps you sane. I don't have people locally and it's been really hard and lonely.

I was advised

• regular visits. Not everyday, but have something to look forward to. And tell them to bring food and make the tea.
• online shopping is your friend.
• get dressed. Try to have some kind of routine. Don't sleep all day. You will struggle to sleep at night if you do.
• not too much TV. The subjects are often depressing and an overdose of it influences your mental state.
• get a cleaner. Don't waste the little freedom you have tidying up.
• sit/lie in the garden if you can.
• do crafty things.
• drink water. Make sure you have what you need for the day at easy reach.
• work from home if you can.
• try to get your partner to support you, but it's hard for them. It's frustrating as I'm sure, like me, you look fine, just lazy!!
• smile and ignore people who say 'oh of love bedrest for 20 weeks! Must be so relaxing.' Funny how they don't say that to prisoners!! (Minor personal gripe. ;) )

All this is hard if you have other kids though. I don't so I can't advise on that, but I'd expect lots of help and support would be needed.

I'll be honest, I basically had a breakdown last week, but I'm getting there. It's hard losing your freedom, and my partner doesn't really get it. I know it's all worth it, but the daily grind of tedious nothing to do can really get you down. Hormones are also surging, so I cry a lot.

I've probably only got 4-6 weeks to go. But it feels like a long time....

Ah all my sympathies to you!! I had exactly the same thing happen last year. Had an emergency cerclage at 24 weeks, and full bed rest thereafter till delivery. The little rotter didn't emerge till 41 weeks after all that (turns out I have the mother of all cervixes ;)) so it was a loooong wait!

Have to say, if someone had told me when I had the stitch that I was looking at another 15 or so weeks of bed rest I would have gone mad. But as it was, we were fully expecting him to come early, so actually we just lived week by week, hoping and praying for the best. Every week that went by just feel like such a bonus, and that was all we focused on till around 30 weeks. If we could get to 30 weeks, though it would have been traumatic and a challenge, I had been assured (by the very wonderful consultant looking after me) that it would be manageable. I had steroids at 30 weeks as the stitch slipped, the cervix shortened even further and they were fairly sure he was on his way, so prepared ourselves for that but never eventuated. So another 10 or so weeks ensued.

On the sanity front- I watched a LOT of box sets, did some freelance work, did some research for friends on new ventures, and spent WAY too much time researching pushchairs ;).

On the fitness front, I wish I had been more fit going into the pregnancy but such is life. Nothing much to be done for that. I walked the length of the hospital every week or so when I went for my fetal fibronectin and exam and that was pretty much it. But there were some websites I used from around 35 weeks on positioning/birthing exercises. I'll link it. Have to say, bed rest is rubbish on helping you prepare physically, obvs. My skeleton, and particularly my back, was really not in the best condition for giving birth having been sat on my arse for four months. So after 37 weeks, and with a huge baby, I literally did everything I could to shake it out...acupuncture helped, did loads of walking, Swiss ball, yada yada.

You won't go mad...you think you will, but you don't, weirdly. Partly due to the first weeks being totally focused on keeping the baby in. The rest you get through with good friends and cupcakes. It's amazing how much time you can waste when you put your mind to it;).

spinningbabies.com

Good luck!! If I think of anything else I'll add.

Time has lots of good advice there. Big yes on the visits (preferably armed with cupcakes!), that was a huge sanity saver. And absolutely yes on the getting up and starting your day, every day. Lie on the couch, not in the bed. You need to demarcate your day for sure.

Time, sorry you're having to go through all of this too. Hope you're okay. Keep the faith, there is light at the end of the tunnel, even though it really doesn't feel like it sometimes.

thanks alifemoreordianry. Even if it made me cry again! It doesn't take much.

It's a good point that the early phases are split week by week. Getting to 24 weeks was a big milestone as my problems all become apparent at 22 weeks. It was expected (I have had multiple cervical surgeries) but I had a strong cerclage in place that was supposed to stop this happening.

Then 26, 28, 30 weeks are all big steps and make a huge difference to the health of the baby. This is a much longed for IVF baby, after 4 years TTC, including a break for cancer treatment!

Now I'm 30 weeks its different. The baby is fine and healthy, measuring ahead so probably big enough to survive pretty well. There are less big milestones to work towards, but at the same time I know there is less time left than has gone by.

The other thing is to find groups who you can chat to online. I discovered facebook has lots of closed groups that you can request to join with women in the same situation. It's much more common in the US to be put on bedrest, so you can find those groups who understand the frustration more.

Time2deal I am really sorry to hear about your ordeal. I hope your last few weeks go by very quickly and you get to cuddle your precious baby very soon.
Thanks very much both for your precious advice. I will definitely set some kind of routine for myself and rally as many people as I can muster around me. It will be difficult as i have just moved to a new area and family/friends don't live close by, but I can think of a few ideas so whilst it will feel like prison, it won't be the complete isolation ward!
I do feel completely useless though: as you say, I feel fine on the outside, so lounging around in bed all day makes me feel, well, lazy. My DH is very understanding and his primary concern is the baby so from that point of view, I am getting support.
I do worry about my physical shape when the baby arrives. I am normally reasonably active and had already cut back on my fitness routine due to horrendous morning sickness, and now this!i think I will probably wait to be out of the 30 week danger zone before I attempt some gentle floor work.

Thanks very much again for all the good advice Ladies.