I'm so, so jealous of everyone who gets to just look forward to their baby arriving :(

[feelingbroken]

I feel like my heart is breaking. We've been told by our landlord that the notice he served (just a section 21 because he wants his flat back, we haven't done anything to cause it) stands and that he won't renew our tenancy. As we can't get a new deposit together and have no guarantor we can't find anyone else who will rent to us either. DH is on a low wage and I had to leave university during pregnancy as I've been so ill (I was a mature student), but I thought we were stable or could find somewhere else and we were so excited for this baby, our first.

Now we've had to go to the council for help and are being rehoused as homeless, so in all likelihood we'll be in temporary accomodation when the baby's born in Septmber. It also means I somehow need to change GPs right at the end of my pregnancy and that'll be a total mess as well with no permanent address...

I just feel like I've failed at being a mum before I've even started. I've been in floods of tears for days. We've managed to scrape together the basics of what the baby needs, mainly down to the generosity of friends' hand-me-downs, and now all we need are nappies, so he shouldn't want for anything but I just feel distraught that we won't be bringing him home to a home like I thought we would but somewhere temporary and awful for god knows how long :( everyone I know who's pregnant is talking about getting their last bits of nursery furniture together and painting baby's room and it's killing me inside :(

I'm sorry for rambling, I don't know what to do. There's nothing I can do except wait and see and do the best with what we have, but I just don't know how to get past this feeling of utter failure and it's stopping me from looking forward to meeting our baby like I should be and that makes me feel even worse... I feel so sorry for him already. I guess I just needed to get it out because there's nothing more I can do but I just feel awful :(

Thanks for even reading this.

I'm struggling to believe that people think the real problem here is that you might be depressed. The problem here is your hideous bastard landlord evicting a pregnant woman.

People just don't seem to appreciate how terrible protection for renters is in this country compared with others. It's disgusting that this can even happen. In the Netherlands, for example, a landlord who wants a property back has to give the tenant ONE YEARS notice and find them a suitable alternative property and find their living costs. And if the tenant wants to stay, then the landlord has to go to court and explain exactly why their wish to have the property back in their use trumps the tenants right to a secure and private domestic life. If the tenant has, for example, a child in a local school, then there is no way that the courts would make them move.

Yes, all the baby needs is love and its parents, but situations like this should simply not be arising in the UK, in 2014.

OP, please go to Shelter for advice.

^^ that should be "fund their relocation costs"

I'm sorry to hear this

I have had to move when ds1 was a couple of months old and it was very difficult. We also had to live in temporary housing and it is depressing soing this when you really want to put down roots and start nesting with your little family.

I wod suggest avoiding discussing baby items or nursery purchases with other expectant parents in real life and online. Also don't read baby magazines or advertising materials and avoid articles online that appeal to the 'consumer parent'.

Try hard to focus on your dh and baby, they are what matters the most

Absolutely agree, Criseyde. I am in a roughly similar position to the OP ... our LL wants the house back when the tenancy expires in October. DD is starting school in September and DS is due to start the year after, so we now face the headache of finding an affordable new home (in an extremely expensive area of the country) close to the school.

I frequently moan to anyone who will listen that this country's problem of skyrocketing property prices could be solved in one swoop if renting were made a more attractive option. No doubt a huge motivation for people wanting to own a home in the first place is that it is the only way of getting some stability and security, given that renters get to stay in their own homes only with the consent of some tosser BTL owner. Make renting more attractive/secure => reduce demand for house buying => get some stability in the property market.

OP while I have every sympathy for your situation I do think you need to take a little bit of personal responsibility for the position you are now in.

Your Dh has obviously been relying on your flat mate's generosity for some considerable time given he did not contribute towards the deposit at the outset, and did not seek to remedy this during the entire period he has lived there. I take it that is some time given the tenancy predates you. If he/you had done the responsible thing of putting aside even a tiny amount every month to pay his friend back you would have half the deposit coming back to you from the LL now.

Secondly the LL is not being a bastard. He needs his flat back, and has done the correct thing under the law to set this is motion. You don't mention why, perhaps he has a very good personal reason, like he needs to sell live in it himself. Had the law required more notice then I sure sure he would have given you more notice, but on that front your beef is with the legislation not the LL.

But you don't want to hear any of that, so on a more practical note:

Given you were originally in a flat share, that would suggest to me sharing is probably more affordable to you than having your own place. Have you looked at flat or house shares? I lived in house shares for years, they can be really quite nice and cost a fraction of sole occupancy as everything from rent to bills is split.

All private accommodation requires rent and a deposit in advance, so you need to get hold of this somehow. Can family help? Could someone guarantee the rent for you?

I really do wish you the best of luck. Your baby won't care where you live, they only care that someone loves them, feeds them, cleans them, and cuddles them. Their love is totally unconditional and absolutely wonderful. Enjoy it.

OP I'm fortunate to be in the opposite position to you in that I'm financially well off and have a stable home that I own. My baby is due before yours but I'm not getting on the bandwagon of nursery decoration and buying furniture and loads of other stuff. I don't care much about it and my baby cares even less.

One of my good friends had her baby earlier in the year whilst living in a 1980/90s static caravan as her house is undergoing a major renovation project. Her baby doesn't care at all. He won't care either that the project is over running and they'll be there for 6+ months longer than planned.

I think it's inevitable that you're feeling a bit low. Life is difficult at the moment. That certainly doesn't mean you've failed as a parent. Neither does it mean that your midwife will look down on you. Things will get better, hang in there.

If I was the OP I would tell you to shove your patronising shite, dolicapax. How dare you comment on her situation and tell her that it is her fault and responsibility. Who paid the initial deposit is irrelevant to this situation.

The landlord IS being a bastard. They do not NEED their flat back. They are choosing to evict the current tenants and get new ones for the sole purpose of jacking up the rent. In many other jurisdictions this is ILLEGAL and should not be tolerated in 21st century Britain.

The OP needs a safe and secure home to live in, as she has now, and nobody should be fobbing her off with non-advice about getting a flatshare with a newborn baby or cobbling up more money for a private rental deposit. She's already stated that she can't afford this. And, no, not everybody has rich relatives to stick a cap out to.

Please get advice from Shelter, OP.

Hi Op some helpful advice and some not so on here. 4 yrs ago I had a 1 day old baby when we received our notice to quit, I completely understand the utter uselessness that comes from such a situation. I spent a wk crying about it, to feel the way you do does not mean you are depressed, it means you've been put in a situation you can't see a way out of.

When I phoned our council I was informed of the huge waiting list they currently had. The advice I was given was to stay put aslong as was needed. The ll has to go through court in order to evict you which will give you at least another month on top of your notice period. I know it's not deemed as the correct thing to do but when faced with eviction and newborn it gives you a bit more breathing space. And sorry to say it but once you've had your baby you will jump ahead of a lot of people on the housing list.

In the meantime ask your council if they do emergency grants or loans which will help with a deposit.
Check the local agents to see if there's one that does a no deposit deal. I can't remember the name of them but there is one that does it.
Go to citizens advice to see if they can help you find the deposit.
If you will struggle with a normal loan have a look if you have a credit union in your area they are far more understanding than banks.

Depending on how your area operates look at housing associations aswel as the council.

Good luck

1. Tobeabat the word bastard has been mentioned on this thread, which is why I picked up on it.

1. I don't mean to offend, but I do have a point. I left home at 16, lived in lodgings, all sorts of shared houses etc, and at every stage of the way I had to find a deposit. So not saving for one is irresponsible.

1. No one has said on here why the landlord needs the flat back, it is all assumptions. My assumption is that OPs flat sharer has moved out, taking the deposit with them leaving the landlord with someone who cannot pay either the deposit or the rent. If I'm right on this then the sharer should really have found someone to replace them when they left. That's how is usually works. Both the OP and the LL are left in the lurch here.

1. Rents do go up. I'd be interested to know how many years the current rate has been fixed for. When tenancies change it is usual for rents to be adjusted to market. What are equivalent properties going for in the area? If more, then a rent review is not unreasonable. If less, then OP would be better off moving because the LL would indeed be being a bastard.

I'm sorry for OP, but helpful advice is telling her realistic options available to her, not wailing over the injustice of it. It isn't fair from her perspective, but it is life. helpful advice is saying look at available options, like flat shares, or family, and in the mean time try to put money aside for a deposit.

I've been there, started life in really shit circumstances to be frank, but got through them. I am trying to be helpful, but also give a kick in the right direction.