Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Grandparent access?

10 replies

Lalalax3 · 25/07/2014 20:12

My DH's mother is an absolute nightmare, (legal issues, with violence on her part, and a history of emotional abuse and neglect with all of her children), so we finally cut her off for good about a year ago, when she started trying to act up around the time of our wedding.

Since then she's cropped up about once a month, always with a new tactic eg phoning from an unknown number, emailing, tweeting my DH, getting her brother to email etc... And we've managed to ignore her for the most part.

Despite being blocked, she has logged onto Twitter as a guest and managed to ascertain from my DH's feed (in which he mentioned an antenatal tour) that we are having a baby. Her Twitter feed was then full of tweets about knitting and being a grandma.

Her latest gambit is to contact my DH and his sisters through a mediation service. Her emails are becoming more and more official and we are worried that she is gearing up for some kind of legal action with regards to our unborn son (I'm 35 weeks).

Does she have any legal clout? We don't want to have to fight her on this, but could, if necessary, as we all have LOTS of evidence of her unsuitability to be around our child.

I feel I should point out that it's my DH's absolute wish that she should not be part of our lives, he isn't being led by me as I have always said it is obviously up to him what level of contact he has with her. He is happier without her.

OP posts:
GingerRodgers · 25/07/2014 20:19

As far as I know grandparents don't have any legal rights to grandchildren (happy to be corrected on any of this) but courts would take into consideration the relationship that exists with parents etc so I wouldn't worry if I was you.

FTMK · 25/07/2014 20:20

www.thefamilylawco.co.uk/grandparents/what-are-grandparents-rights/ is this any help? As she doesn't have a relationship and your DH is opposed then even if she gets to court, they shouldn't rule in her favour. Advice is more aimed at grandparents who've lost touch due to break ups but principles same I think.

Would a restraining order be of use?

MorphineDreams · 25/07/2014 20:21

Grandparents do not have any legal rights. Some take it to court, but the vast majority don't get anywhere at all. It is nothing for you to worry about

Ratbagcatbag · 25/07/2014 20:21

I'm pretty sure what gingers said is accurate. Failing that, if she was by some miracle successful, I'd move a long way away.

PickleMyster · 25/07/2014 20:29

My understanding of it is if the grandparent goes to court and can prove a previous relationship with the child then they MIGHT be given access. Do NOT allow her any access to your child - there will be no relationship to prove.

MorphineDreams · 25/07/2014 20:31

Even then it's incredibly hard. I've read the posts on GransNet

Lalalax3 · 25/07/2014 20:33

Ok, I'm reassured by these messages. Above all we want to avoid any kind of legal wrangle, but from what I've seen here it almost certainly won't get that far. It's so horrible, especially for DH. He's in therapy to help him deal with a lifetime of manipulation and abuse from her and every time she contacts him it hurts afresh. :(

OP posts:
MorphineDreams · 25/07/2014 20:37

Ah mrsgembles I feel for you both.

I'm slightly worried because my mum recently hit me, resulting in me having to have dental work and my lip stitched.

her last words were 'fuck off, and when you get pregnant, I'll be having that child!'

How lovely

Moreisnnogedag · 25/07/2014 20:40

I too thought that GP don't have automatic rights to visitation but if, for example, you already had a child, she had a really good relationship with that child and then you fell out, she may be able to apply to the courts.

However, no pre-existing relationship means she doesn't have the right to establish one IYSWIM. I also think that given her DS doesn't want her to have anything to do with your child then you're in a really strong position.

Moreisnnogedag · 25/07/2014 20:41

Really need to hit refresh before posting!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page