Yo bump is so fat that....

[Hevava]

cue American accent and complete this sentence
Yo bump is so fat that....

The cashier is Asda winces when you tell him your due date :-P
(no word of a lie!)

Yo bump is so fat.....

It matches your arse.

Wanker at work.

You get stuck in between your colleagues desk and the wall trying to 'shimmy' through.

The steering wheel touches it.

I've managed to lean it on people's shoulders when cutting their hair in work. Oopppssss

you have to get the sales assistant to fasten the shoes you are trying on for you!!!!

You can't fit through the door

In my defence, I was viewing a bungalow with my parents and in the normal size doorframe was a door that split into two.

My DDad still laughs at me for that one git

You have to stick it in the toilet bowl when you're fitting the damn loo seat bolts because you can't squeeze round the side.

People at work constantly ask if it's twins.

No, I'm measuring bang on for my dates and surely 2 sonographers can't be that shit at their jobs?

You create a huge crater in the memory foam mattress when you are laid in bed.....

Your friend purposely brings their lowered sports car to give you a lift to work for "entertainment" value!

It looks abnormal. That was today's from the bitch who Constantly has to make comments.

geez, signora I really hope you replied " The only 'thing' abnormal is you!"

Lorry drivers lean out of their lorries to comment (me, just over 11 years ago!)

DH would be very proud of me usually quite vocal and quick with a snarky response as I just flat out ignored her completely (other than a brief 'look') and turned to my friend.

You manage to shave a pubic moustache onto yourself when trying to do some tidying up because you have to make like a contortionist in order to even glimpse what you're doing and it's really easy to miss a bit.

You have to carefully plot your way to the toilet in bars where tables and chairs are a bit too close for comfort or else you get stuck.

you look like a galleon ship apparently. charming.

Panicked when I saw blood running down my legs, only to realise I'd cut my lady bits shaving as I can no longer see what I'm doing!

You can only use the front rings of the cooker hob.