No birthing partner?

[Scoobsmam13]

It looks unlikely that baby's dad will be about at the birth, so I have been thinking about who, if anyone, I would prefer to have there and came to the conclusion I'd rather go it alone. I always feel a lot calmer if I am by myself, and I just think it would be the right alternative for me. I have a DD and had my ex was there at the time, but the words chocolate and teapot spring to mind! Plus my mum will have DD and most friends have children, work etc anyways.

Has anyone else had any experience of giving birth without a birthing partner? Could I do it, or am I just pretending to be a lot tougher than I am?

Of course you could do it. It's not that long ago that birthing partners were unheard of (in the UK, at least) so every mother was doing it on her own. I had my second without DH being there and felt much more able to concentrate on what the midwife was saying.

I hope it all goes well for you!

We live far away from family so dh had to look after dc while I gave birth. I loved it! I was able to fully focus on what was happening and would do it again if I had to.

This is not your first birth, so you would have an idea how it's going to be like. We haven't got family nearby, and I'm due in September. I would prefer my DH stay with DD because she's quite clingy and doesn't like strangers. I know I could do it alone and I would feel better if I know DD is well taken care of. However DH has other ideas and he is adamant not to miss the birth. So he's arranged for a friend to take DD.

I don't believe you'll be the first person to have no birth partner. You'll be taken care of by midwives. By the way, my mum gave birth to both me and my brother on her own. I don't think birth partners were common back in her days.

I mean I'm not sure. In her days, men definitely weren't present at birth. My maternal grandma was a very laid back person and I couldn't see my mum asking her to be present. My mum had lots of cousins and sisters, but none of them went. However, I stayed with an aunt for a month for my little brother's birth so it's not like she's not close with them.

I had dh there but when I started to haemorrhage I was on my own in or with a bunch of drs, there's always the possibility that can happen and when I got scared a nice medical student held my hand, for which I was very grateful! I may end up on my own with dc2 as we have no close childcare for dc1 and I feel ok about it. Chocolate teapot is right, you're the one doing the hard work anyway. My mum didn't have anyone there for her 4 dc.

My mum accidentally gave birth - to twins- alone bar the HCP when my dad went out for a ciggy and a tea and got lost in the hospital (just follow the coloured lines Dad!). It all went well. Mind you, she had 2 MW, a student MW and a junior Dr in the room so she said it was crowded as it was!

My mum got driven to hospital by my grandad whilst my gran tried to prise my dad out of bed (they lived round the corner) ... I was born before he turned up my mum was so happy she arranged for him to watch me when my brother was born (even with childcare that close by).

Really appreciate the replies. I will of course let the dad be there if he is around and wants to be, but I am sure I would be better alone than with anyone else. Like you say Rumours I think I will be able to concentrate much more.

Really appreciate the views. Its maybe not as unusual as I thought.

From a practical point of view might be worth thinking through the logistics of how you'll get yourself and your stuff to where you plan to give birth, maybe have someone on call who is prepped to bring stuff from home if you find you're in longer than planned/forgot something.