How do I prepare my 19 month old for new baby in 3 months time?

[natand49]

Any advice would be welcome on how people have prepared young children for a new baby in the house. My little one is 19 months old now and new baby is due in 3 months.

Watching with interest as I will have same gap, due early November.

I wouldn't do much TBH, just talk a lot about brothers and sisters and babies. Throw in a few 'wouldn't it be nice if we had a baby come and live with us' statements for a while and then graduate to 'there's a baby in mummy's tummy and in a week or so he/she/it is going to come out and will live with us. Won't that be nice?' Type things. If you're getting the cot ready for the baby then talk to your toddler about what you're doing as if it is completely normal. They will only be phased if you are :)

For what it's worth, this is exactly the approach we've taken with our twins. They're older, will be four when the baby comes, so we've started the conversation early (because they understand the conversations I have with people who comment on the bump!), but we started gently with 'it'd be a nice idea' and have now got as far as the baby being in mummies tummy and that one day in a long time it will come out of my tummy and live with us. Bit of talk about how much fun that'll be and how they will be able to help, but not too much yet (4 months + to go).

My two have fluctuated between seeming to understand to finding it hilarious and telling me not to be silly, there can't be a baby in my tummy. I just shrug and don't make a big deal of it either way. They'll believe me in the end!

With your older child being just 19 months, I'd keep it very light until very close to the birth, as a 19 month old won't have any concept of time.

I thought I'd handled this fine (22 month age gap).

I chattered brightly about the new baby. Like, this will be the new baby's bedroom. This will be the new baby's cot. This will be the new baby's pram.

One day he said to me, 'but where's the baby?'.

I realised there's only so much preparation you can do. The toddler has no notion of time and change. Too much talk too soon just makes this seem like an event that's forever in his future - not a reality.

You can only do your best and make sure that your current little one is fully involved when the new baby actually arrives.

Congratulations to you all!

One thing to watch for, don't tell your lo that the baby will be so much fun and they'll be able to play together, they won't :) as you know newborns really don't do a lot.
A friend made this mistake and told us all not to repeat it. Also I'm selfishly posting here to mark my place and pick up some more tips :)

There are 21 months between my two, and I remember being really worried about this. I was afraid I was about to ruin DD's life! I needn't have worried. When we brought DS home from hospital, DD wasn't even interested .. we have a photo of the two of them on the sofa together, and DD is playing with a pair of socks, not interested at all in her new brother. We got her a present from him, but it didn't really register. Trickier, perhaps, is keeping the older child involved when you're tending to the baby - I found that wearing the baby in a sling helped, as it kept him content and meant I was hands-free to play with DD. As he grew older, we'd encourage DD to bond with him, saying things like, 'DS is laughing at you!'

Now DD is 4.5 and DS is almost 3, and they love each other and are very close, but also fight too.

Mine are only 15 months apart but we had a book called "There is going to be a baby" by Helen Oxenbury who wrote "We're going on a bear hunt" which my DS aged 3 still loves. We also chatted about when he was born, in fact it's a favourite story. I used to ask him to help - fetch nappies etc. He is very protective of his sister now. He helped choose what my DD would wear. I hated the sling and instead favoured the baby bjorn bouncy chair