Is anyone pregnant (or has been recently) and knows that they probably won't BF?

[dottytablecloth]

I feel disappointed to be admitting and talking about this but I wondered if anyone else is (or has been) in the same situation?

I'm currently 18 weeks pregnant with number 2. I didn't bf my first child and I know that I probably won't bf this one either. I really have nothing at all against bf, I admire people who do it, I think it's fabulous but I just feel that I wouldn't be able to do it.

I suffer quite badly from neck and upper back pain and I just imagine this would be really hard to BF through. I'll be having a section so I imagine by the time baby comes I'll probably be in enough pain.

I am really out off by mums who admit that even when BF works really well it's still painful for the first few weeks.

I wonder how I will cope with my toddler son and try to establish BF? I read alone post who said that a feeding sessions can last hours- how on earth do people manage to do this when they have other children to look after?

Just wondering as although I'm very pro choice, I do feel guilty for the fact that more than likely I won't BF.

I know this sounds counter intuitive but can you call a breast feeding counsellor. She should help you work through it and won't pressure you to change your mind if you have mad eit up

It's your choice, you should not feel guilty at all about it x

Following with interest, I stopped bf at one week with DS and am due to have DC2 next week. I just don't feel my hearts in BF....

Me! I'm pregnant with No4 and have no intention of breastfeeding. I didn't attemp to breastfeed my other 3 children either. I do admire and support mums who do breastfeed but it's just not for me.

I have friends who never breastfed. They took formula into hospital and told the nurses they won't be trying the breast.

The nurses, quite rightly, accepted her decision and nothing more was said on the matter.

Just see how you feel when baby is here, but don't feel guilty if you don't bf. Have the courage of your conviction and enjoy your baby.

I formula fed my dd from birth and will do the same with this one, dd has thrived, she gained weight from week 1 when a lot lose weight, has followed the 75-91st centile for growth, never been ill except chicken pox, no rashes/allergies and has slept beautifully from the start so I see no reason to do anything different with dc2.

To be honest it's only ever on here that I see any pressure or negativity about not bf, never in rl.

If your mind is made up then don't worry about it - plenty of people don't breastfeed and nothing awful happens......
But as you say you are disappointed to accept it- do you really, deep down want to give it a go and think you might regret it if you don't? It might be worth talking to a breastfeeding counsellor? It really shouldn't hurt if the latch is right- but often it needs help right at the start to get that right- leaving it til you get sore is a disaster...... and feeding session lasting hours? no way!
At the end of the day- your body, your baby, your decision

I think that what happens with the time bit is they feed and then fall asleep on you, you don't want to disturb them so you leave them on. ! Kind of like being a dummy

I was worse at this with my first, my second didn't really do that.

I ff fed my first was in soo much pain from section. And tbh I don't regret it one bit. I was a single mum and staying at my parents and it meant my mum could help with feeds which she loved and im sure has helped develop the bond her and my son have. And he never been unhealthy he happy and developing as he should.
Om now 12 weeks pregnant and will be ff feeding again.

Despite all the criticism I'm sure to get

I ff fed my first was in soo much pain from section. And tbh I don't regret it one bit. I was a single mum and staying at my parents and it meant my mum could help with feeds which she loved and im sure has helped develop the bond her and my son have. And he never been unhealthy he happy and developing as he should.
Om now 12 weeks pregnant and will be ff feeding again.

Despite all the criticism I'm sure to get

To my mind breastfeeding is easier as you don't need to make formula,no need to sterilise bottles and there are different positions in which you can feed your baby.I didn't experienced breast pain as my stubborn monkey refused to take my breast for a month and I was expressing breast milk.while baby slept I was expressing then he woke up,feeding time,after he fell asleep I was expressing again for next feed. I didn't have time to cook or eat or do other stuff but when at last after month of trying and expressing my boy decided that boobies are better than bottle,my life become easier! You can always have a try and see how it goes as breastfeeding can be more easier than ff :) of course have a back up plan with formula and bottles in case bf really don't work! And don't feel guilty as happy baby is not hungry baby! How you decide to feed him or her is completely your choice!

I am expecting DC3 and will not be breastfeeding as the thought of it makes me feel physically sick.

FF the first two and experienced no pressure from midwives, although to be fair they probably sensed they would be fighting a losing battle.

I did bf dc1 and will try to with this one but it was awful for the first 4 months - near constant feeding, agonising boobs, feeling like a Heffer and then my back went. I was drinking so much coffee due to exhaustion I doubt it was terribly good for my dc either. You do what you think is best, for this as for every other parenting decision. This time round, we know that after 4 months bf is actually the easier option as you just whip the book out wherever you need to feed, and dd loved it. But we may well whip out the formula in the evenings if we can get the baby to take a bottle (dc1 wouldn't)

I've had two ELCS. FF DC1 due to rubbish milk supply (I lost loads of blood) and am successfully BF DC2 as I type. Was in considerably more pain after DC2 than 1 so that wasn't really an issue as far as feeding was concerned. Apart from slightly sore nipples to start with, I haven't had any discomfort, and while I expected to be up every hour with BF, she actually sleeps better than her brother did at this stage.

DC1 is almost three (and incredibly active) while DC2 is going through the insane 6-8 week growth spurt, so I'm spending a lot of time feeding right now, but I'm managing to juggle things OK with a fair bit of trial and error. Frankly it's no more time consuming than preparing bottles and feeding that way. I actually find it a lot less stressful than trying to guess how much formula baby might need.

Of course you don't have to justify your feeding choices to anyone, but BF can definitely work second time around, without pain or stress.

I didn't get past 5 days of BF DD. I think that her crappy delivery, blood loss and subsequent illness meant that I didn't really get a decent supply. I have no intention of trying again with DC2 as DD is very healthy and I think that the benefits of BF are really marginal in healthy, term children in the UK, provided that formula is properly prepared.

I have a 14 week old baby and knew from the off that I didn't want to breast feed. I was more worried what other people thought about it. The midwife was fine when I said I didn't want to breast feed. I was worried they would judge me.

For me, I couldn't handle the fact that my body had been through all that trauma with pregnancy and then I was expected to let a littlun suck on my boobs for the next few months. I completely admire women who do breast feed, but it's not for me.

The fact that my parents were over at the weekend and were able to give her feeds is a massive bonus for me.
Do what you are happy with, your not alone in your decision.

Me definitely ! I plan to try and bf in the hospital to give dc a bit of colostrum but after that I'll be ff. bf is just not something that's for me . Each to their own . Good luck

It's good to read the range of responses here.

Sometimes I imagine people are judging me for not BF but then I wonder who really cares that much.

I would love to be able to but I just don't feel it's for me and I think therefore I'm bound to fail at it.

Reality is it's going to be harder with a toddler, particularly when I've never done it before.

I agree with the poster who said that even after the trauma of pregnancy and all the changes, the fact that it's still happening after the baby is born is hard.

I think BF is wonderful for those who can though.

I didn't bf my son, I'm 26 weeks pregnant and haven't completely ruled out bf, I can't imagine me doing it, 80% sure I will ff but not deciding till he's born, it's personal choice xx

Me too! I'm planning to try it for a week or so, but I don't like the idea of being out and about and doing it, or even in the house with visitors I would feel a bit awkward.

My health visitor came round to introduce herself and she said to try to bf and express milk while baby was in between feeds so my husband could feed sometimes. I don't like the idea of how restrictive it seems, especially when I feel awkward about doing it in front of people anyway - I'd never leave the house!! The health visitor just said 'you'll get used to it' and 'you'll soon be able to do it whenever and on tap'.

I asked her how long she recommended bf for and she said between 1-2 years!! I was thinking 1-2 months was good going haha! I don't think she was very impressed when I said I wanted to ff or mix the two....

I didn't. I was vaguely willing to give it a go for those first few days (though not keen on the idea) but in the end DD went to NICU and they happily put her straight into formula.

I honestly didn't have any negative questions or comments in RL about it at all. When people have asked, I just explained why (to do with no support and being the only person responsible for feeds etc) and no one has ever said anything to me face.

I never found formula a faff. You quickly get into a routine of kettle on, steriliser on, half an hour later making bottles etc.

But then I was fortunate to end up with a baby who liked to drink a bottle in one go and didn't want many feeds at night, which I am sure made it easier.

Im having my 5th and no I wont be BF. Do i feel guilty??? NO

I have 4 perfectly healthy and intelligent children already (none breastfed)

Its personal choice at the end of the day and I hate how some other mums make you feel when you say you bottle feed.

When I had my eldest I was just turned 21 although I admit I did act younger back then the thought of breastfeeding was a very daunting thing for me to even think about so refused point blank, had the lectures in hospital but I stuck to my gun.

After I had my son, I made the mistake of saying during my labour I was open to trying this time, I was very ill after having him was pretty much out of it and I had him forced on me, I asked to stop but I got told had to carry on now. I tried it a few more times after that but I found it painful and i really dont think he was getting anything. After 2 nights already in hospital And struggling was in tears with the pain and the fact the midwife was been too forceful, So when night shift came on I got talking to a nice midwife who was a bit more understanding and agreed I could put him on formula. I actually put in a complaint about the attitude of 2 of the midwives in regards to BF not that it did any good. I found the experience really distressing, already feeling crap after a major heamorrage and high blood pressure and epidural didnt wear off for over 24 hours, I felt too weak to fight my corner.

Having my twins was adamant from the start I even took my own formula in just to make sure there was no attempts to persuade me

Suprisingly, all of the young mums IRL I've spoken to have intimated that I would be MAD to BF!

All either ff or switched to ff after a token "colostrum" effort at the start.

The consensus is: why put yourself through that? Everyone knows ff babies are fine. Why become "a milking machine"? Let everyone else lend a hand - you'll be destroyed from the birth!

Also tbh, the stories on here do not appeal. EBF for two/three years? Co-sleeping for years so you can BF a toddler during the night whilst DH sleeps in the spare room? NOPE!

So am veering towards ff, though will try BF in hospital just to see what all the fuss is about. DH also desperately wants to be a part of daily feeding, & expressing BM just so he can do that seems twice the work for me!

I tried, she couldn't latch (we used nipple shields, no tongue tie etc), it was too much faff and stress so I switched to formula. I love it! It really isn't the big faff non-ffers make it out to be, it's easy and I don't feel like I'd be as good a parent if I was affected by sleep deprivation. Also DD has to go into nursery at 5 months so her being FF is easier.

Some people have asked if it's due to my age, assuming I find breastfeeding weird. Nope, it's fine, and I don't deny it's proven to be nutritionally better for baby - but is it worth the extra strain and stress? Not for me.

I'm preggy wiv my 5th baby and have no intentions of trying this time. I tried with the others but it's too much of a struggle, it really bothered me that I couldn't stick with it, I felt like a failure. If there was more hrs in the day, and I could afford a live-in nanny, cook, and cleaner then it may have worked! Lol. My children are perfectly healthy, never ever go to doctors over illnesses (can't even remember the last time one needed to go) nothing wrong in formula feeding, if there was then why would it be available?? Jo x