My Dad is driving me around the bend!

[polkadotdelight]

I am being unreasonable, I know this. I am being petty, grump and ungrateful.

This will be the first grandchild for both mine and DHs parents, also probably the only grandchild for either side too so it's natural that they are excited. I have friends whose parents live far away and have had little family support so I realise how lucky we are.

He is still driving me around the bend though.

Every time I see him/speak to him he asks 'how's my baby'. I know he means well but it isn't his baby (that would be incestuous!), it's our baby and his grandson.

I'm not comfortable with people feeling my bump, I don't mind DH or my mum and Ive learnt to tolerate MIL doing it (I encourage her so she's involved) but I don't want to be touched by anyone else. Every time I see him he says 'let me know when he's kicking and I will have a feel' - there is no question of if I actually mind. As it is whenever someone else puts their hand on my bump the kicking stops.

We told my parents only the name we have chosen and told them it is a secret. On numerous occasions since he has asked me 'so have you thought of any other names yet?' which gives me the rage because he obviously doesnt like what we have chosen. I did explain on the last two occasions that the name was chosen and to stop asking and he has stopped suggesting alternatives now.

I'm being grumpy and reverting to being a teenager about it and I don't like it. I know he is just excited and I need to sort myself out but xan someone tell me I'm not alone in this?

Yep your being grumpy. Sorry.

Well you know you're being grumpy.
Have you tried telling him that the hormones are causing you to not like being touched and you're sure he understands that. He seems to have responded to just being told. I know my parents would if I just said that I really didn't want to upset/hurt them but....
Try, try, try and be grateful that they care. The help and support will be invaluable when the time comes.

My Dad is looking at mini golf clubs for the baby (to use when, I don't know !) and crying over baby hedgehogs in the garden, and I love it, because he's so happy. I look at it like this, that we are having this baby to be part of our whole family, so as long as it's not massively intrusive or judgemental, I'm happy with all the attention parents and PiL are giving us. Also, he has asked to feel your bump, not gone ahead and done it, it could be worse! I know it's easy to be grumpy in pregnancy, I've been a bit peeved with workmates at times, but with family I enjoy how happy they are for us and how much they will clearly love the baby.

My dad takes credit for all of my baby's (largely imagined) skills. He thinks DS is some kind of rare genius, and that's clearly a result of his genes... I sympathise, but it's actually kind of sweet. For my dad, who didn't really get a long with parenting us as children, it's like he has an opportunity to really love a baby without the stress of being in charge.

Your dad is annoying now, but he might get 'worse' once the baby's here

My dad is being rather good considering he got told off when I bought (and yes I bought it as I was the breadwinner with savings at the time) DH and my house for referring to it as "his" as if he'd got it for me!
Just endless requests to take photos of me looking whale like pregnant.

Yours sounds a bit over excited but I think he has triggered your preggo rage! Just take some deep breaths, they don't sound too full on, just excited!

Ah if he asked how's my baby, I'd reply, I'm doing fine.

Thank you everyone. I know Im being an idiot and I do think the poor man is just bearing the brunt of my frustrations (hot, tired, uncomfortable as scar tissue is stretched, fed up with everyone saying Im huge etc...). Im sure when the baby is here it will be fine, my dad loves babies and will happily walk a crying baby for me. I just need to behave like a grown up again!

Op I wouldn't worry. We all got frustrated with someone at some point when pregnant. For me it was my MIL. Great woman/grnadmother but she drove/drives me round the bend sometimes.

Also I hated anyone except DH touching my belly. I once snapped and had a go at a woman working in our local supermarket for touching my bump. I used to call people that did this "space invaders". I still think its really rude and can send me into a rant for people to just touch pregnant women without their expressed permission.

In some parts of the world they say that when some annoys you during pregnancy then your baby will look like that person. That actually came true with my first daughter who is the image of my MIL. So your Dad may have something else to feel happy about!

Oh my god! We've already joked about him getting my Dads nose.......