Can we talk about sex please?

[Snowmonkey77]

So now I am 11 weeks pregnant the whole thing seems to be more normal and I am feeling more in the mood for sex with OH. We have probably had sex 4 times since conception. The first couple of times were weird and I couldn't get anxious thoughts out of my mind that somehow we might hurt the baby or cause some kind of issue. Recently I thought I was over all that as all the advice out there is that this is very unlikely! But yesterday we had sex and for once I was pretty relaxed about it. Afterwards though my uterus contracted and felt like a big hard ball for hours. It made me feel faint and odd for most of the evening. I know that this can happen and is just a natural reaction to sex but it has set me back psychologically once again - I actually said 'That's it - no more sex!' and saw poor OH's face drop! Am I overreacting about this? I wonder if this is linked to a feeling I have had over the last couple of days, a dawning realisation that my body is not totally my own and that it does weird and unexpected things! It makes me feel a bit trapped. How can I relax and enjoy the ride?!

Baby will be fine! They're in a cushiony bag with amniotic fluid and the vaginal passage before the cervix means nothing can er...touch...baby ;) baby has no idea what you're up to.

I get why you're worried cos it's such a strange concept at first! I have to say I don't recall tightenings til later on but everyone is different. Maybe mention your feelings to your midwife...she will know what to say.

My problem is my partner gets too freaked out to have sex now he can feel her kicking (40 weeks) so make the most of it now ;)

There are certain positions that get me freaked, missionary is one as it feels like h2b is pushing her out of my chest but we are ok with it, but baby does go nuts afterwards like she's throwing a tantrum!

Hi OP I always found the post-sex contracted womb quite unnerving even though I know it's normal!

I found that if I made a conscious effort to relax after sex my womb would de-contract pretty quick: lie on your side, breathe deeply, focus on loosening your muscles, slacken your jaw etc.

I was up for it constantly with my first pregnancy but am almost completely uninterested this time around despite feeling physycally so so much better so I think hormones must play a big role in whether yoy actually WANT to DTD...

HTH and enjoy

I've had those tightenings with all of my pregnancies (am expecting DC3 atm), from as early as 4-5 wks. If it is painful you can take a painkiller suitable for use in pregnancy about 30 min before you DTD. And no need to worry about the tightening of yr womb affecting baby (unless you are high risk / have history of miscarriage) - both my DS are fine x

Thanks everyone - your observations and advice are giving my rational mind lots of ammo over my (over)imaginative and scare-mongering mind! Sex has always been hugely linked to my emotions so I guess these feelings are normal and to be expected. I guess I should feel lucky that I am interested at all and have an OH who doesnt seem fazed (not yet anyway!).

I've had sex all through both pregnancies, from BFP to due date, at least a couple of times a week, and I nearly always get the contracting uterus afterwards, sometimes it's a bit painful other times just tight.

DC1 was born with a straightforward delivery a few days after my due date, she is now 22 months and the healthiest baby you could imagine and this current pregnancy is 29 weeks and going fine :)

So feel free to do whatever you like in bed. On the other hand, if you don't like having sex in pregnancy lots of women don't and that's fine too.

Personally and this is just a personal thing, we have restrained from having sex. I have a very understanding DH, and the doctor also recommended we abstain as we have had 4 mc in 2 years.