I'm 31+4 with our first baby, and I have a very poorly husband. For the last two nights I've averaged about 2 hours sleep because he is going through a bout of depression and stays awake all night panicking. Between me getting up to pee every 90 mins or so and him getting up and down, switching the lamp on and off, breathing irregularly and sighing neither of us is getting any quality rest at all. I've been a zombie today and nearly passed out when I was cooking dinner. We are both close to breaking.
He's extremely anxious, worrying about anything and everything: fatherhood, health, death, money etc. I suffer from moderate recurrent depression myself, have done for 16 years, so I know that he can't just snap out of it, and how incredibly frustrating it must be. I also know that when you get into those negative thought cycles nobody else can pull you out but yourself. We've been to the GP and he's got an initial assessment for CBT and a prescription for citalopram - which has helped him in the past.
I find myself worrying about him constantly, and desperately wanting him to be better, for him and for me. It breaks my heart to see him suffer. I also worry about my health suffering, and how this might affect our son. Then I feel guilty for thinking about myself because I see how much my husband is in pain.
I'm already worried about tonight (though hiding this from him and being positive), I can't have another night like the last two. Husband has suggested he takes the sofabed in the nursery but I worry about him alone in there freaking out all night.
I don't really know why I'm sharing this. Maybe I just need an internet hug. Or some advice from anyone that's been through similar?