Hi all
Ive just received a message telling me to bring along a present to a hen do for the bride to be. We can't put names on it and the bride to be has to guess who it's from. We're told it can be a tear jearker or something funny.
Problem is, I cannot stand the bride to be. She is marrying my brother and I am going to the hen party because im 'doing the right thing'. I have always disliked her, she is false, socially unaware, and totally selfish. She is the type of person who would have you believe that she is sweet and thoughtful but it's completely the opposite. She is entirely self absorbed and I am yet to see her doing an entirely selfless act.
I have always felt this way even from when they started going out. It did not take long for others to begin feeling the same way as I did and to see through her. My entire family and my brother's friends cannot stand her but we all put on a show for my brother as we love him. The fact is, none of us would have this girl in our company were it not for the fact that she is my brother's gf/fiancee. Last year, my sister was accosted at a wedding by another drunk guest to tell her that the sil-to-be is an *sshole and no one understands why my brother is going out with her. This man is a colleague of both my brother and his fiancee. I have also been approached in a similar manner by colleagues of both and other friends also have had things said to them. My brother knows all this, he is still marrying her and that is his choice. I am not even going to try change his mind, as a few months back my parents talked to him and he has decided to go ahead with the wedding. This was after she did something particularly hurtful to my parents and sister and my parents decided it was time to speak up.
I previously was able to get on with her, put on a good show, for the sake of my brother but recent events have totally pissed me off and I can no longer tolerate her at all. She previously thought we got on well, I think she realises that things are different now. I have had reason to see her twice in the last couple of weeks and she has tread very carefully with me, and knows to avoid me. However the brat has also tried to engage me in conversation in public as she knows I would never embarrass myself by not talking to her.
So my grand question is, what do I get someone I hate? I suppose I could buy something totally bland. However I would love to get her something that gets a message across that I won't ever forget how much hurt she has caused recently.
I should say, in the past I have always just pushed aside her behaviour and put it down to "did you see/hear what she was up to this time." My priority has always been my brother, he's a great guy and she knows she has a catch. She also knows that my family and I are all too polite to point out her behaviour. But I have not been able to get over recent events mostly because I warned her a few months back about how much stress/strain my mother was under and she still went ahead with her selfish actions. I deliberately told her that my mum was under pressure/strain in the hope that it would cause her to see sense. (She pretends like she worships my mother and my mother always had her reservations but was willing to give the benefit of the doubt but now knows exactly what she is like.)
My dh thinks my attitude at the moment is pg related. Partly because I am always the one in our relationship willing to forgive and forget with people, move one, see the best in people and give others the benefit of the doubt. DH is usually the one who gives everyone one chance and then writes them off if they mess with him.
He could be right. I am also well pissed off at DH's sister at the moment due to years of her behaviour of treating us like idiots and dictating to us what we should do with our lives. I have been avoiding her like the plague. She was unbelievably hurtful when we announced our news, launching into her 'news' rather than congratulating us. It was mental, like a completion. My sil-to-be is also a complete know it all (a phrase one of her colleagues described her as!). I am of the view that both of these people will be telling me what to do when I have my baby and I want to avoid that. Keeping them at bay seems to be the best way to do it. (Dh's sis had kids, sil-to-be does not, but as I say, is a complete know it all.)
Sorry for the crazy long post. I should say I am doing yoga at the moment to try and relax myself. I have found the first 6 months of 2014 very stressful and challenging. To some extent I predicted this at the start of the year, but secretly hoped it wouldn't come true. It has and worse. We've already had one death and I fear another could be imminent due to cancer.
17+3