Midwife whinge

[FirsttimerG]

I don't know if I am expecting too much, but I've just got back from my midwife appointment at 25 weeks and she just never seems to be at all interested!

This is my first baby and I feel a bit out there, not really sure what to expect etc. so I probably do ask a lot of stupid questions, but she gives off the impression that I am an inconvenience and when she answers what she considers to be a stupid question it is with absolute disdain.

I had questions about reflux, my weight and I had to tell her about 4 operations and my most recent diagnosis (absolutely no sympathy and didn't bat an eyelid at the general anaesthetic btw ladies)
I also wanted to know about antenatal classes as I sent off a form to join them nearly 2 months ago and haven't heard anything, but I don't know who to follow up or if that is normal, or indeed when they're meant to start (week no)

With all of my current health issues (another op tomorrow) I just need someone who can reassure me and answer my questions, surely that can't be too much to ask?!

Couple that with my OH now starting to go on about my weight (I thought you were supposed to be gaining too much) which is out of concern but I can only take personally, and anxiety about tomorrow and I have just come home and cried.

I guess I expected midwives to be a bit motherly. Turns out they're just form fillers.

Hi OP

I am a FTM too and I think I know what you mean about MWs having lots of forms to fill in instead of being able to talk to us as much as we might like. I think this is really down to the system and pressures in the NHS. MWs have such a limited time to see us and so much paperwork to get through! I'm sure they would like to take a more personal interest but, as with so many industries, box ticking and time constraints get in the way sometimes. At least you can rest assured that all the boxes are ticked and the MW is properly trained to look after you even if you aren't going to become lifelong friends!

It sounds like there is quite a difficult medical background to this pregnancy. Sorry to hear that! Do you think it might be worth speaking to a good GP instead or maybe your Consultant about your concerns?

Regarding weight gain, as far as I have heard, there is no right or wrong amount to gain and everyone is different. That is why there are no NHS guidelines on weight gain in pregnancy, just the slightly unhelpful "don't gain too much". I think if you are eating healthily it doesn't matter.

I didn't like my mw at the booking in appointment, and DH didn't either, so asked to change mw's! Just had my 16 wk appointment with the new lady and shes much nicer, cared a lot more, and was happy to answer questions. :) If you don't like her, ask to change. you may have to visit a different drs surgery to see the mw, but it may be worth it in the end - you are the consumer, you should be happy with the service you recieve! So glad I changed.

Thanks guys! I'd have to go to a different doctors to change and I really rate the doctors.
The consultants have been brilliant with my health issue and always take the pregnancy into account - particularly checking medicines etc are ok.

I have just bitten the bullet and booked some NCT classes. I think I am more likely to get what I want / need elsewhere.