help! I can't stop crying!!!

[millsnbloom]

Sorry but I think that this will be a long one,I am new to mn but have been reading from afar - so to speak and thought that maybe you would be the only people that might understand, I'm 35+5 wks pg and just can't stop crying for the past few days, the main reason for this is that i had a mc prior to falling for this one and that baby would have been due on monday - my sil is also pg and her baby is due on monday - no-one else knows that my baby would have been due on this day as i don't feel that they would understand how I feel - it was all trivialised at the time by my in laws - so much so that they made my bil tell my dp the day I came back from the epu as "it would make things easier for me", I know that i am lucky because I am now expecting again and people think that I should forget about it, but I can't - especially as this baby is big and a few people have said that maybe i just lost a twin and that i never really fully miscarried, this kind of got my hopes up that it was all a mistake- but it couldn't have been as they did tests and it was confirmed at the epu, i just feel so alone at the moment - i'm sure it is just the hormones - and i thank anyone who takes the time to read this as at least i have got it off my chest!

You poor thing I can't help on the m/c front, not really sure what to say about any of it, but didn't want to let your post go unanswered.

Could you sort out a special day for yourself, perhaps have your hair done and/or a manicure or something and then have some time alone to think about the baby you lost and grieve properly, with out others thoughts of what "should be done" getting in the way?

Have you told your DH how you are feeling? Men don't ever seem to look further than the end of their noses, and as horrible as it seems to you, I expect people have almost brushed it under the carpet to either not upset you more, or because you are expecting again they might think you haven't lost anything.

Anyway, I hope you manage to do something to remember the due date by, and I hope you don't have to do it alone.

It's coming up to six years, at the end of this month, since my miscarriage. You never forget - but I promise you it will get easier, especially when your baby is born. I went on to have my ds2, who is almost 5, and - while I'll never forget the baby I didn't have - I wouldn't have ds2 if that pregnancy had continued. It's a complex set of emotions.

Plus, you're heavily pregnant, you've got all those mad hormones flying about, and your sil is due when your baby would have been - no wonder you can't stop crying. Be kind to yourself this weekend, and especially on Monday - can you talk to your dp/dh about how you are feeling? Will he understand? Some men don't, I know - I think once I was pregnant again, my dh thought everything was OK.

Above all, you're allowed to be sad - of course you are, but it will get easier when you have your baby in your arms. Take care xx

thank you so much for your support, i haven't spoken to dp about it but he suspects that something is wrong - he always asks if everything is alright - just as he is walking out of the door to work!, maybe amking a special day of it on monday would be a good idea i think i shall just spend the day to myself and go fromthere really, thnak you again for your support.