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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

People commenting on size

29 replies

Kels13 · 02/07/2014 12:06

If I get asked once more if I'm sure it's not twins I'm going to punch the person in the face... I'm 6 months pregnant and have a big bump. I've only out I about half a stone but it's all on my boobs and bump. I'm so annoyed and it's really starting to get me down actually. How can I deal with people's comments?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

sarah0109 · 02/07/2014 12:34

everyones pregnancy if different, you may just be holding alot of water rather then having a large baby in there, people are going to look and say stupid things like that and there is not much you can do about it other then ignore (grin & bare it) i had my leg in a cast and on crutches when i was 6 months pregnant and the amnount of looks i got and yet still nobody gave their seat up on trains ect but i just tried not to think about it, sorry i cant be much more help but other then actually punching everyone in the face (although you may make you feel better landing yourself in a police sell wont) there isnt really alot you can do you have 3 months to go then you will have your beautiful baby in your arms just think about that instead x

ShoeWhore · 02/07/2014 12:36

People just make inane comments ime and if you can best to let it wash over you.

I once had a comment that I was very small for dates and another that I was enormous on the same day Most people actually don't have a clue how big you are meant to be!

squizita · 02/07/2014 12:37

One that infuriates me is "oh, you're pregnant - you've only just started showing." As if I'm a skinny freak.
(1) My bump and baby are actually large.
(2) Everyone else - apart from the 3 or 4 people who say this - noticed between weeks 19-24. Like 40 or 50 people I work with.
I don't know why but the fact they can't see in front of their own faces being projected onto me makes me so ...weird.

Also "you have a small bump - is your baby small" when what they mean is "your arms, legs and face haven't gained that much weight ... are you an evil fashion vicitim starving your baby". The bump is bloody massive love, baby's 75th percentile and 'chubby' (in a good way -plenty of that warmth fat they need when born laying down - I haven't been overeating much ).

Misspilly88 · 02/07/2014 12:40

I had the same thing when I was still at work... Ended up crying in the toilets when the millionth person commented on how big or small my bump was. Thing is, my bump has always measured normal so you just have to keep that in your mind....if the midwife is happy then ignore them. People always want to comment,and it doesn't stop once you've had the baby unfortunately! :(

ClaretAndBlue30 · 02/07/2014 13:03

Its so annoying isnt it!!

Why people feel the need to comment is beyond me - 'ooo you've popped out haven't you?!' SHUT UP. In my mind the only thing you can say without potentially causing offence is 'How are you feeling?' then leave it at that!

Just try to ignore them OP, easier said than done I know!

GailLondon · 02/07/2014 13:26

It's soo annoying!

The only thing I would ever say to a pregnant woman about her appearance is 'you look lovely!'

SeaSaltMill · 02/07/2014 13:32

I think people just say things. They don't necessarily think them through, they just look for something to say. They're basically idiots.

Original poster

Kels13 · 02/07/2014 14:10

I almost said to the last person 'at least my belly is baby, yours is just cake'. I know that would have been petit and rude so I didn't of course. Just wish people would think. I love my bump no matter what size because inside is my beautiful baby. Thanks all, really did need some support before I lost it! Xx

OP posts:

BeckaH123 · 02/07/2014 14:11

I've had the same question re twins and I'm only 17 weeks!

When people say "you look well" and look right at my bump I normally say, "Do you mean I look a lot bigger"? People usually laugh because that is exactly what they mean.

It really doesn't bother me as I like the direct approach about most things in life, but that's just me. Other people are more sensitive than I am generally speaking so I am kind of surprised at how many people comment...

systemsaddict · 02/07/2014 14:17

OH God I had everything, 'big bump' 'small bump' 'neat bump' and even 'lovely bump' - as if it was something I could take some credit for! And measured exactly average for the number of weeks I was, with both pregnancies. It was years ago but still annoys me. People just look for something to say ...

MrsPatMustard · 02/07/2014 16:00

Total sympathies - I had this too, including one colleague who said: 'Jesus, your baby is going to be HUGE!!!' (he wasn't) and another 'friend' who said: 'you've put on a lot of weight' (I hadn't.)

Some women just carry further out front than others. No rhyme or reason to it. Doesn't mean you're spawning an elephant, or that you've been hitting the Snickers bars too much. These idiots are not worth your energies. Fuckwits, all of them....

dollydaydream27 · 02/07/2014 16:00

I get the opposite and it didn't bother me at first but has been getting to me recently . People are constantly commenting on how small it is. Someone even said last week they wouldn't put me past 20 weeks .....I'm 38 weeks for goodness sake !! I can't help but take it personally as if they are commenting on how I'm incapable to grow a baby and must be starving it ...

FirsttimerG · 02/07/2014 16:11

I've had "are you SURE you're not carrying twins?!" (I am measuring normal which is a massive feat considering I have had a lot of unrelated medical problems in the past 5 months and haven't been able to bend / exercise!

I've actually fallen out with someone over it. Just because she was tiny when she had her kids doesn't meant she had the right to judge me! Everyone is different.

Inane stupid comments.

squizita · 02/07/2014 16:30

Dolly I've has "in my country you'd be in hospital for such a small bump" ( as I mentioned before - not carrying small). Turned out she had no idea how far gone I was anyway so their hospitals must be full of women who are just fricken 16 weeks pregnant rather than undernourished!

MummytoMog · 02/07/2014 16:31

Someone said 'oh you're ready to pop' last week. I'm 28 weeks tomorrow. I've got FOREVER to go yet. Last week was just full of people I hadn't seen for a bit commenting on how massive I was. The bits of me that aren't pregnant are actually smaller than normal thanks to morning sickness. I'm short. I have nowhere to put this baby but out.

LBNM19 · 02/07/2014 17:09

It's horrible people comment on how small my bump is which I also find rude, everyone carries differently xx

weebairn · 02/07/2014 19:02

Today I had "wow, I thought you were much further along, that's a big bump" and "are you pregnant?? I wasn't sure! Congratulations! Gosh you're teeny" - five minutes apart.

I am 27 weeks…

Last time hardly anyone noticed but I think it was cause I worked in baggy scrubs till 33 weeks! I wear fitted things this pregnancy because I prefer feeling bump-y to big!

weebairn · 02/07/2014 19:04

I think once some people notice you are pregnant AT ALL, they then think you should be delivering the baby next week. There is a whole 9 months of the bloody process!

ImBrian · 02/07/2014 19:46

In all 4 of my previous pregnancies I've been told how tiny my bump is. This time I'm told it's massive/triplets/huge 10 lber, I take no notice. For me I am huge at 19 weeks I look like I did with baby number 4 at 28 weeks!

People think your public property when your pregnant. Just set them straight and let them realise you're offended.

Missingcaffeine · 02/07/2014 20:25

I keep getting random people (like checkout staff, people at bus stops etc) commenting 'not long to go now then'. I'm only 28 weeks.
I've had the neat/big/small bump comments too. People just want to acknowledge that your pregnant, I think out of kindness, but they don't realise it can really upset.

turdfairynomore · 02/07/2014 20:30

To quote my mum when I said I wasn't going shopping with her at 7 months "no I'm not surprised you're not going out. People are talking about how enormous you are" !! Thanks mum!!!

parallax80 · 02/07/2014 20:41

People just say a lot of nonsense to make conversation. Just let it wash over you.

And if it's any consolation, if it is twins, people then say inane things like "oh, a boy and a girl - are they identical?"

Original poster

Kels13 · 03/07/2014 05:56

Nice to know I'm not alone in this! People really just don't think do they. When my best mate was pregnant last year I would just constantly tell her how brilliant she looked, this is what I'd like to hear, not - 'really 3 months left, wow are you sure it's not twins'. Thanks all hearing your comments has helped calm my rage! X

OP posts:

LightHouser · 03/07/2014 07:33

Does anyone else find their bump changes size / shape through the day sometimes anyway? At the weekend I commented to my OH as we went to bed that I'd never felt so pregnant, either that or that I'd eaten 4 Christmas dinners, but I'd actually not eaten much that day due to the heat. The next morning my friend who was staying for the weekend commented that I looked more pregnant than when she arrived (I don't mind this at all because she's lovely and could never mean anything in badness)... but this week I'm back to having a 'neat' bump. Maybe the baby just spread out for the weekend, who knows. Maybe it's fluid levels.

I'm a FTM and I find it all fascinating :-)

Mummymidwife87 · 03/07/2014 07:57

Ive had it theoughout pregnancy from pregnant women in clinic and the general public. Are you having twins... oh it must be your second... youre going to burst... you must be due soon. Its so rude.
Im always tempted to ask when their baby is due

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