beimg told im big... and have a fat bum at 34 weeks :(

[appletree100]

I went to a cousins wedding today and I had just to many of my family commenting on my size AND weight... I even got "Your ass is huge" & "your face is puffy". I was small before - size 8...5'4" tall & 9 stoneish and I am now 11.4 stone - so weight gain 32 pounds. I knpw this is over the recommended amount but I feel great for it and healthy and I actually think I look okay in photos etc..... But now after today I just want to hide away.. not work my last week next week sp people dont have to see me - really devastated :(

How can peope be so cruel? Anyone else had horrid comments from people they love? 5 more weeks of weight gain and so scared xx

Personal comments are inappropriate at most times but when pregnant ... Well I believe fuck off was invented for this reason ...

In my experience cruelty usually stems from jealousy. There's no harsher critic of ourselves, than ourselves. So if you feel (felt) happy and comfortable with your weight and the way you look, that's what matters!

Take a look at the people saying these things? Are they perfect? Doubt it. They were probably ernormous when they were pregnant or they have no concept of what happens when someone is pregnant.

You need that extra weight to feed your baby when he/she arrives. Be proud of your bony, it's making a brand new human! You're amazing!

Ignore, ignore, ignore......

Those comments were cruel and very unnecessary. I also think jealousy is at the root of them. Why do people think it is ok to make these sort of comments?

p.s. congratulations on your pregnancy, it's not long now until you are enjoying all those special newborn baby hugs :)

You're pregnant. You're supposed to gain weight. Do they have a suitably good excuse for being so rude and socially inept?

In a few weeks you will have a beautiful baby and be losing weight. They will still be rude.

Too late now, but I think such appalling rudeness ought to be challenged. Tossers.

Try saying "I'm pregnant and will soon be back to normal, shame you can't stay the same"!
I think it's awful that people just can't keep their mouths shut if they have nothing nice to say.
I've had to put up with this from close members of family, some of whom have been pregnant themselves and should know better. It really knocked my confidence for a while but you just have to learn to say f**k it and ignore them. Some of it stems from jealousy I've found too

Cheeky fuckers.

Ignore. Agree with kickass btw.

How mean :( I can't believe they thought it would be ok to say these things! You wouldn't say it normally so what is it about being pregnant that would make it ok?

Fwiw I think you've done fab with your weight gain, most women I know (including myself) have gained a lot more than that. It'll soon be over anyway and you'll be holding your baby, until then why don't you channel some of them hormones and give anyone who says something like that again a swift kick :)

Personally I reckon they think it's ok because of jealousy. It's not ok of course, shame on them. 32 lb is absolutely fine, gained 35 with dd1 and it came off quickly after, in any case, it's a very trivial part of having a lovely dc.

You were obviously small to start with..size 8..and 9 stone...i was similar and had many people tell me there was no way I'd go full term cause i was so huge...i am now 3 days overdue! I think I'm about 11stone11 now (not totally sure as don't own scales!). Anyhow just ignore it...people are now telling me how neat i am!??!
Also don't worry about the "average" weight gain as slimmer people tend to put on more weight in pregnancy whereas larger people put on less. Everyone likes to have an opinion on your bump (maybe we'll become these people too one day!)
I bet u look fab ...and btw all my weight has gone on my new "J-lo ass" too....it's there to give u energy to put into breast milk...perfectly normal. :-)

I used to be 9st, am 5ft3" and nerly 14st now, and am 37wks. Just ignore them and stop worrying. Ive always had eating issuses so i found ot really hard when i put on so much weight but now i just dont give a toss. If someone ses something that offends me i say something sarcastic back and they get the hint. Im not massive but im a size 14 now and was a nice slim 10-12 before. It will soon drop off, people are just used to u being tiny aswell, so when they havent seen u for a while and u got bump n stuffs they must feel the need to comment x

Tell them to piss off! I went to a family wedding at 21 weeks, SIL said it must be a girl as I was "carrying all over" (I replied that I've always had a fat arse and that she must never have noticed it before) and then MIL commented that it must be a girl as I had "a very neat bump with no weight gain elsewhere". Which clearly demonstrates how utterly shite and totally made up these comments are!

Also I find that weight gain goes in bursts, you might only gain a pound or two in the next couple of weeks, so 5 more weeks of pregnancy doesn't mean 5 more weeks of weight gain. You will also lose loads of weight instantly once the baby, placenta and amniotic fluids all come out, so you will definitely be leaving hospital at least a stone lighter than you go in.

If you feel happy and healthy then you are doing the best for you and for baby no matter what the scales (or idiot relatives) say.

I got the same, I didn't take it all personal though - we have that sort of relationship in our family where we can say get off your lard arse and not be offended by it. It depends on how it was mean, was it meant to be malicious or was it just a statement?

Thank you so much lovelies xx I do feel much better reading through you loveliness.. you are right about the jelousy thing.. the worst offender was a sister inlaw who got huge with my niece, seemed to take pleasure in telling me how swollen and puffed out I wad getting x the huge ass comment came from a cousin and then my dad agreed aaahhh, they had had a few champagnes by this point though - they obviously dont understand they need for a bit of extra fat fot the breast feeding and also just for carrying and making a baby xxx going forward I will ignore and just say its for baby :) and I stick by the fact that I bloody well think I look fine and not in the slightest fat.... just PREGNANT, this making a baby business is hard work xx love love l9ve and thank u

I'm 33 wks. Similar height and weight before as you (5'5 and 9 st 2) and now I'm 11 stone 2. I think I look very neat and that's all I ever get from people. In fact I'm not sure where all that weight has gone! Heavy bump and boobs obviously. Sounds like jealousy to me, seriously why do people feel it's their right to comment on your size just cos you're pregnant....winds me up!

What do they expect with a pregnant woman!?! We get big, it happens to everyone! If your Dr is happy, then you're not too big, just ignore them.

...oh and I get "you'll be fat forever" comments ONLY from friends who are unhappy with their weight after babies. You're right, its their problem not yours.

Some people have a real disconnect between brain and mouth. And no manners. Ignore them, if you hadn't put on weight you wouldn't be supporting your baby properly! If you feel happy and comfortable then don't let anyone take that away from you! Pregnancy is hard enough.

This puts me in mind of a friend who when I told her I was expecting said something along the lines of 'wow, talk about female genital mutilation, rather you than me'. I was shocked, and then realised later that it spoke volumes about her personality, &where she is in her headspace.

When people do or say hurtful things like that- do not take it personally. Don't let them put their stuff on you.

Thank you again everyone xx feeling happy again now... I quite like my new bum anyway and so does my hubby ;)

Dh used to tease me saying I needed a wide load sticker and a reversing beeping noise thing to let people know I was trying to get in and out of places. I didn't mind that too much as I too put on well over 3 stone and felt miserable.

There is nothing at all wrong with your weight gain. I got so annoyed with the 'oh you're enormous' 'what you're only 28 weeks you look full term' blah blah. Why people feel so free to comment on a pregnant woman's body is beyond me. I'm so sorry you experienced that. The 'I'm pregnant, what's your excuse' line is always so apt! Enjoy your pregnancy, ignore these ignorant comments :)

I think alot of people make comments about the size of the bump simply as a topic of conversation, or because they don't have much experience of people being pregnant. I really cringe at the things I used to say to pregnant women when I was younger!! (about the bump, big bump, neat bump, girl, boy, etc), but I'd never known someone my age get pregnant, so I had no idea.

That said, all bets are off when it's comments about your actual weight, or other parts of your body. EVERYONE knows that that's just basic manners.

I recommend that you come up with some retorts for the next time it happens, and use them!

"wow, you've gained so much weight!"
"I know! I'm pregnant. What's your excuse?"

"Your arse is so huge!"
"Yes, it gets bigger to counteract the bump so I'm not constantly toppling over. What does your double chin counter balance?"

"Your face is all puffy"
"Your manners are non existent"

"You got fat"
"I'll lose the weight after the baby, but you'll always be an arsehole"

etc etc.