Hi all,
This is my first post, I am brand-newly pregnant 4+5 for the first time ever after 4 and half years of IVF. I had reached the point of this being my last ever IVF and no matter what happens I know I'll never be able to put myself through it again! This is all or nothing and like most of you (I suspect) the constant fear of miscarriage at such such an early early stage terrifies me.
Today I had my first hormonal melt down! Lol. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm scared to death of not being able to hide morning sickness from my colleagues when it comes along in 9 days time. I've got loads of meeting booked in at work, and 4 of them that I'm chairing so I won't be able to excuse myself. I wouldn't call myself an anxious person but this is ridiculous! I've also been experiencing a racing heart and missed heart beats which I believe is not uncommon in early pregnancy, but what that brings on is an instant fight or flight instinct that contributes to my silly new anxiety! What with my newly acquired exhaustion I got home today and burst in to tears over these worries all over my OHs shoulder! Lol.
Am I alone in this fear? I've gotten to the point of exhausting myself with the worry that I almost don't care if everyone at work finds out. But if it is even remotely possible I'm desperate to keep it quiet.
Any advice?