33w + 1d DH - Will you PLEASE answer the phone?

[karmawillbiteyourarse]

Hi, my DH doesn't have an answer phone on his mobile or read text messages very regularly. I am now 33w + 1d. I can't reach him. This is usual. I have mentioned before that when we start getting closer to my due date - I'd really appreciate him picking up the phone if I call. I don't feel we're at that point yet, but at what point should he be saying to his customers - I have to take this - my wife may need me?

36 weeks? Later? It's our first baby and he's never more than 2 hours away. So it's highly unlikely he would miss the birth unless he just went into a 2 hour meeting and forgot to check his phone after. And even then he'd be home in the evening. I would feel really let down if he missed the birth though. He does plan to be there.

Is there a switchboard number or something you can call?

I can call the office, but if it's an evening meeting with clients (own business), there is no one really there after 5pm. And most of the time when someone does pick up, they just say, he's with client X, then will be going straight on to meeting client Y - have you tried his mobile?

Depends - do you regularly call him during work time with unimportant things?

Maybe you need to have a better plan - you will only callif it is an emergency (so if you do call he MUST answer ) and for all other non emergebcy stuff you will text and he can respond as and when.

My DH got a second hand pager which was our 'pregnancy emergency hotline' so he knew that if I called that/ left a message then it was serious pregnancy business e.g labour!

I think text is the way forward.

It takes only a second to check the first few words - no problem to check in any important business meeting I've ever been to most senior people seem to spend the entire meeting writing emails on blackberry anyway

You've just got to tell him that he HAS to check his text regularly (doesn't need to reply).

One alternative would be to buy him a really cheap mobile - I think you can get one for £10 or £20. Doesn't need credit. And only you have the number and he knows that is the emergency-baby-coming-out-of-hole phone. Then he just has that phone on loud and charged with him at all times. He can continue ignoring main phone as normal.

think i don't think so, I usually wait until evening to tell him news or things he needs to know. If it is something I will forget - or that he'll want to know beforehand, I send an email. I am calling today to know what time he's getting in as we've got overseas visitors arriving - it was not clear until today exactly when they were coming - french air traffic control strikes - and he's got our one car. So I needed to know - are you going to be here on time to pick them up or do I need to organise a cab. Organizing a cab to get to pick them on time will require more than 20 minutes notice.

But this is more generally about - at what point in my pregnancy should he be picking up/keep his phone with him?

It sounds like you could get hold of him in an emergency. But I know that fear well. XH would be completely uncontactable for about 8 hours (no one to call to get hold of him and wouldn't answer the phone or texts) every day. There was one day that I thought I'd gone into labour and couldn't get hold of him at all. I rarely (maybe once a month) would call him, so it wasn't as though he was pestered. It was terrifying. But then he wasn't a nice man.

I think you need to keep telling yourself that in an emergency his staff would get him.

I feel your pain. Dh got much better very quickly after I had a bit of an emergency at 38 weeks. I phoned his secretary and told her that she had to lean over the desk and cut off his phone call then hand him the phone I was speaking on NOW.

Anyway, I think some kind of agreed bat signal or pager etc so that he knows he HAS to answer would be a good thing.

My husband works in London and has always been pretty tricky to get hold of as he has both (work and personal) mobiles perpetually on silent - why bother having them then?! I'm 33 weeks tomorrow, and as my SiL had her first child today with a TWO HOUR AND 40 MINUTE LABOUR I'm going to push for him to have them both as loud as they will go! He'll have to get the train back and it's an hour at least! I'd tell him to do it from now on.

At 33 weeks you could so with some sort signal/bat signal that you need to contact him urgently.

DH is terrible to get hold of, now he keeps his mobile on silent so at least he can see if I am calling even if he can't pick up. If I leave 3 missed calls then he knows it's an emergency, not massively reliable but with this is DC4 so I'm not really going to be in a position to faff about when the time comes.

You may as well keep the bat signal once you baby has arrived, I've needed to rush one of the DC's to hospital before and DH needed to get back at speed, all ended well as it was just a scare but at the time I didn't have time to place phone tag with him.

My DH cannot answer a phone due to the nature of his job (no phones permitted at all, serious stuff when he's at work). He's given me the number of the main reception so they can send a runner with a note and get him out if needs be!

"I think text is the way forward."

I don't. Even on its loudest setting I can't always hear my phone when I get a text, especially if I am in a noisy environment. I think a pager is the way forward.

thanks all for your top tips and sympathies. we are going to try and work out how to have his mobile only ring when it is me, but stay on silent for all other callers