Pregnancy has made me miserable!

[Hasle157]

Can anyone relate?

I used to be outgoing, happy, always had stuff planned and never felt overwhelmed by my workload. Since being pregnant I've fallen prone to every symptom going, had to have time off work for exhaustion and illness and made few plans because I never know how I'm going to feel when the time comes. My mum decided to move 150 miles away when I was 4 months gone, I've felt detached from work colleages because I just feel so dowdy all the time. I can't do the things I used to do, even take the dog for a walk because he pulls and has almost pulled me over twice, this used to be a massive part of my life, can't feed him dog foog without heaving up over his bowl because of the smell and my partner has had to take over and do a lot of the things I used to do by myself! I feel needy and dependent and I hate it.

I'm looking forward to becoming a mum for the first time, whilst feeling a bit scared and I do feel quite lonely, the pregnancy came as a surprise for both of us and everyone else. Some work colleagues have been really supportive whilst others have even failed to acknowledge I'm pregnant and even give me dirty looks in the office and can't even muster a polite 'hello'- the women of course! My partner works at the same place and has received plenty of 'congratulations' from these people, whilst I seem to have been ignored. It's made me feel detached from them and him to be honest, I just feel crap.

Is pregnancy supposed to be this lonely?

I found pregnancy very lonely first time round. I think it was a mix of emotions, and a major part was that I lived so far away from my mum at the time too. I also worked in a male dominated office at the time where I suddenly became the big round scary emotional bubble that nobody wanted to pop. It changes so much, and it can be really daunting! I didn't build my confidence levels up until after DD was born, then started taking her to mum and baby groups. Its always nice when there are people around you in the same situation, because it adds another network to your life. We have a few groups round this way for ladies with bumps and little ones, its worth looking into or speaking to your m/w about perhaps? Its deffo something I am going to do this time round again, but earlier, because I remember how lonely I felt last time.

Sendin u some hugs chuck. I feel exactly the same and im now 37wks and have spent this ebtire pregnancny hardly doing a thing! I used to be so active, always on the go....and now im a cripple! Im guessing ur mum moving away hasnt helped. Hubby bless him still insists on me restin loads when babys here and he will do most of the work but that just makes me feel worse :( and as for your collegues they are rithing with jelousy by the sounds of it! Theu must fancy your fella a bit else they woukdnt react in this way lol thats why im glad i worked with all blokes before, as i dont get on with alot of my own sex. Have you tryed talking to ur fella im sure he will give ulotsa support. X

I hate feeling pathetic. The patheticness comes and goes, I have some periods of loads of energy and it's as if I'm not pregnant, but the pathetic periods are quite miserable. I'm in the middle of one at the moment - everything aches, I'm tired, I'm overworked and not really coping with that because it's hard to focus, there's too much goddamn football on the telly.. you name it, it's upsetting me. Hoping it'll all cheer up in the next week or so again.

Oh I really feel for you - I was miserable all the way through pregnancy. Spd, hormones and insomnia combined just made me grumpy. The moment dd arrived I felt like the biggest weight had been lifted (physically and metaphorically) and made the first few weeks that much more special as a result. We are ttc dc2 and I'm v nervous about going through it all over again. Good luck - it really doesn't last for ever.

U sound like the way I felt when I was pregnant. I think when ur a very active person suddenly not being able to do things makes you really frustrated and upset. I used to get really angry with myself!! Irrational I know lol.
1 suggestion for you and feel free to tell me to pee off. I've got a big dog as well that pulls like a steam train some of the time but during my pregnancy I used his Halti lead on him all the time, it meant I could still take him and have enjoyment out him by myself without worrying about texting pulled off my feet.
I needed these walks, something to clear my head and felt as if I was still in control of my situation as that was a big part of my feelings as well, of having to depend on people doing things for me which I hated. Those walks were my sanity cos I still felt like me!!
Sorry if I warbled on lol

Xx

Oh the goats! You made me laugh. 'Pathetic' is certainly a great way to describe it! The lack of Coronation Street certainly isn't helping with all this World Cup malarky.
Thankyou for the tip scoobsmam, I'll definitely look into baby groups as soon as I can, people say it doesn't get hard until the baby comes, but in my eyes me and little one will finally be free to do as we please!
Boogles, Tomato and Suzy, it's just great to hear from people in the same boat! It's been difficult to relate to anyone for so long, it's like a relief to get it off my chest!
As for the halti idea Suzy, he wears one anyway, but when he sees a cat, there's little to stop him full on leaping into the air and taking me with him. It's good to hear someone in the same boat though! I could try and get the odd family member to come with me when I go on Maternity Leave next week. I can't stand any more of this waiting around for my other half to get home to babysit me on dog walks!
I'm glad other women can understand and relate to how I've been feeling, it sort of felt wrong before... hooray for mumsnet. Good luck to you all with your pregnancies x

I can totally relate to you as well, everything I do is just effort and I have to say I'm pretty lazy at times xx

LBNM19- lazyness has definitely played a part for me too, how nice is it to just lie on the sofa and do nothing at the moment? But then, strangely frustrating at the same time? Perhaps it's our bodies telling us to get some rest in before it gets hectic!

I found pregnancy pretty horrible. The upside is as soon as your baby is born you get this extra high of not being pregnant any more. It really is bliss!

I could have written your exact post. I am 35 weeks today and my father has had to go walk my springer because yet again I am crippled by morning sickness. My partner works away and I am utterly tired of feeling like a hindrance on everyone. I detest pregnancy. I went from an active, Independent happy person to a useless lump. I can't look at my dog without feeling immense guilt and sadness. Walking him in the woods, or down by the river was my one greatest pleasure. I have been able to walk him about 4 times in 8 months. I sat on the stairs the other day sobbing shouting "All I want to do is walk my dog." My partner can still go out, go climbing, go cycling, eat whatever. I know I can't ever do pregnancy again. And I won't.

It must be really hard with your partner away too. I really feel for you. I have too found it difficult in that my partners life has remained much the same as he still does all the activities he used to whilst I stay at home on my own... again. If anything, pregnancy has probably pushed us further apart.

keep counting down those days now, not long to go! Then you can enjoy your walks with your dog once again and of course your little baby will enjoy them too.

Take care of yourself and don't beat yourself up about it, I bet your father enjoys helping out x

My dad had to rescue me last night too - had to do an emergency room move so a plasterer could do some work. Boyfriend away with work, me exhausted and a piano to move. Dad phoned about something else he had offered to come round and do, and got me flapping in a panic down the phone. 40 minutes later he arrived with dinner and a crowbar. Yay!

He sounds like the best Dad ever. Especially for arriving with dinner too! Would you consider renting him out?!

Hope you're having a less pathetic day today. I've been super pathetic today, I cried for 2 hours and I haven't a clue why. I feel ever so slightly insane at times.

Hasle157 - thank you for your kind words. I hope you feel better today. A two hour cry is good for the soul - get it out is what I say! I'm like a sob machine. I've had some sobbing episodes I am quite embarrassed about including head down, bottom up, face on wooden floors screeching "I don't want to do this ANYMORE!!!!" and my poor partner calling triage in despair. If you need to cry all day then go for it. After all this existence sucks.

I'm going to order a relaxation 'hypnobirth' type CD this week to listen to just to calm me down.

Hope you feel a little better this evening. Sending you hugs. Ps I am off to inspect my piles and if necessary shove them back in (it's ok to laugh :-))

Ohthegoats - Crikey I had a plasterer in the house last year when I was un-pregnant and even then it was awful, the mess, the dirt.

I also have a piano and know they are the heaviest things in the world after a massive baby head locked into your pelvis, cracking your bones and sitting on your bladder lol.

Dads can be life savers. Bless. X

Hasle157 - this pregnancy has been a huge strain on my relationship with my partner. Who had been utterly supportive and understanding to the point he needs a sainthood. But it makes me so sad how I have been so ill I am emotionally absent from him most days. He's so gorgeous too. But intimacy scares the life out if me now - I feel like a car crash in every sense of the word, and very unattractive. He on the other hand keeps walking past me naked, with an amazing body (he's a climber) and I think he'll never want me again. Which I know is silly but I have been ill for so long I can't see why he would want me anymore :-(