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Original poster

Am so angry am close to tears...

13 replies

Rubyandbeansmummy · 07/09/2006 13:42

Need to vent before I cry. Last pg was awful in terms of terrible midwives, no-one knowing what was going on, lost blood results due to nurses not writing my birth date on the tube. Followed by an awful 24 hr labour, forced to be strapped to a monitor lying on my back for no good reason resulting in a ventouse delivery.

Me and my daughter are perfecly healthy and all I want this pg is a bit of dignity, some control over my body, my baby and my pregnancy and for people to do their jobs properly.

Now at my 16 week mw appt they announce they've lost all my blood tests and i need to have them all repeated, that the onus is on me to get the results at my 20 wk scan and that they've put me down for consultant led care which I DON'T need or want.

WHY are they intent on doin this to me again? I just want to be left alone. I wish I had the money to buy decent care rather than suffering this continual negligent crap.

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FrannyandZooey · 07/09/2006 13:45

Oh dear

you sound very emotional

I am so sorry you are not getting the care you want. Do you know what you are legally entitled to? There may be alternative care in your area, it's worth finding out.

spinach · 07/09/2006 13:47

write to the head of midwifery and state what you want and detail all the bad experiences you've had. As for consultant care... I've needed it with both pregnancies... they dont do anything differently to midwife led care.. same checks etc... if anything, they are lessliekly to lose bloodwork, scan results etc cos it'll be done at the hospital rather than at a surgery. Consultant led care doesnt necessarily mean more intevention.

kiwimaria · 07/09/2006 13:47

get in touch with the director of midwifery at your hospital.tell her how you feel about the care you are recieving and tell her what you want.

losing blood test results is not on. the squeaky wheel gets the oil-you must stand up for yourself.

frumpygrumpy · 07/09/2006 13:52

Is it at all possible to change hospital? I had a horrid time first time round and second time I insisted on another hospital. The difference was night and day. Don't setttle for it, make a fuss, loudly if you feel strong enough, you are not emotional because you are pregnant, you are emotional because you are being treated badly.

I have very lovely memories of my second time and it helped me come to terms with the first.

frumpygrumpy · 07/09/2006 13:53

Sorry Franny, my emotional comment was nothing to do with yours - I just read that!!

FrannyandZooey · 07/09/2006 13:58

No probs frumpy

sarahlou1uk · 07/09/2006 21:18

How about a home birth? That way you get to stay in control in your own home. It worked for me with 2nd child.

lemonaid · 07/09/2006 21:21

Can you afford a doula even if you can't afford full-on private care? That would work out a lot cheaper and give you an advocate.

tidyjane · 07/09/2006 21:35

I really do feel for you, I experienced a bit of incompetence with my last pregnancy too (midwife was supposed to give me a glucose blood test and tested me for everything else BUT that, I actually had to point it out to her before I left the room, good job I noticed and when I gave birth I was plugged in to a monitor from the very beginning so I couldn't use the birthing pool only to be told when my daughter was born that I didn't need to be.... etc
With this pregnancy I would NOT accept any nonsense at all. I thought I did put my foot down for my last one but obviously not enough.
Don't be frightnened to make a formal complaint.
Good luck to you take care.

Original poster
Rubyandbeansmummy · 08/09/2006 09:21

Thanks all. I'm a lot calmer today. Went and had the repeat tests and just hoping its the fifth and last time I ever have to do it!

OP posts:
CurrantBun · 08/09/2006 11:59

How do you go about "putting your foot down"? This is my first baby and I really don't want to be pushed around by "the system" and made to do/have things I don't want, but need advice on how to go about making a stand in a way that gets results.

I'm due to see the consultant on Monday. I've requested a birth centre or home birth, and my midwife has assured me that I'm an excellent candidate for this in terms of my health record and progress of the pregnancy to date - BUT there is a slight issue as my BMI is lower than the birth centre's lower limit of 18.5. I'm clearly very fit and healthy, just very petite (as is my mum). The midwife thinks the appointment with the consultant will just be a formality but has to send me there because protocol dictates it. However, how do I argue my case convincingly if the consultant doesn't support my request?

Thanks for any help with this!

lemonaid · 08/09/2006 12:15

If you've not already seen them, check out the links here and here . There's some good information.

divastrop · 08/09/2006 13:06

in my first and second pregnancies and births i didnt have a clue what was going on,i didnt know i had a choice in anything and i was just scared.i too gave birth(twice)on my back,hooked up to monitors and pumped full of drugs i didnt want.
the third and fourth(!)time,i was at a different hospital,where i felt listened to,and they didnt seem too busy to stop and explain things like in the other places.i was induced and was technically supposed to stay hooked up to the monitor,but i refused to give birth on my back and the midwives had to just check the heartbeat in between contractions.
from what ive heard of doulas they are a very good idea,especially as i know doctors and midwives often tend to put the complaints of pg women down to hormones,so having somebody to back you up would be great

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