8 weeks pregnant and no heartbeat

[J4ye]

Hi,

I went for my first scan yesterday and the lady couldn't see the baby properly so she did an internal, she then informed us that my baby had no heartbeat. She said it had stopped about 2 weeks ago.

We are totally devasted and i don't know what to do next as I feel so useless. The midwife gave me some forms but I can't take it all in. I still feel pregnant especially the dry retching!

Everyone is being so sympathetic but it just makes me more upset. I feel such a failure & was so looking forward to being a mum again.

My sister in law is 6 month pregnant & I see her most days & am dreading seeing her today as I don't want to keep breaking down.

Does anyone have any advice to help me through this?

Thanks Jay x

it is tough to go through - but it is nothing you have done - you are not a failure - just unlucky - like many women. It does not mean you won't go on to have another healthy baby.

Be kind to yourself - have a good cry, and then get on with life.

Go meet your SIL and have a good cry with her! She probably doesn't know what to say to you either. So sorry J4ye, wish I could type something that would make it all better x

HI

Just wanted to say so sorry to hear your news - I had a missed MC several weeks ago and it is very tough to deal with. Don't bottle things up if you can spend time with someone who will let you cry it out do as it does help you.

Thoughts are with you.

march 13 1998 friday 13 1 went for my first scan and they told me that there was no heart beat i felt so alone this was my baby i can imagine what your going through but to cheer you up a bit is thatin the may of 1998 i caught again and had an healthy baby boy so i no its hard but there are reasons why this happens and i belive it happens for a reason all mt thoughts are with you xxnikie

Thank you all for being so kind. Rather than have the operations I have opted to do it naturally but so far nothing has happened, I have to go back in a fortnight for another scan, which I am dreading.

It still hasn't sunk in but I guess it takes time.

Thank you for you support

Jay xx

I am so sorry - i know what you are going through as i had a similar experience earlier this year - in fact my baby would have been due this weekend.
Give yourself time to cry, and try to be really open to loved ones, as i think it is sometimes hard for them to understand.
Mumsnet is also another great place for support, or ranting.
thinking of you

I am so sorry to hear your news I had a MC at 13 weeks when I started to bleed. The baby died at approx 6 weeks and the sac carried on growing until 10 weeks. I let it happen naturally as I had already started bleeding and everything was fine in the end but am a bit concerned that nothing may happen to you for weeks.

Would also add that I fell PG 4 months later and now have another lovely 10 week old baby girl.

My thoughts are with you.

((xx))

J4ye - give yourself a bit of time to take it all in and do feel you can change your mind about the D&C if the waiting gets too much, the midwives and doctors will understand.

I just wanted to post because I've been in a similar situation to where you are now but equally I've been where your SIL is. She's probably really sad for you and doesn't know what to say and I know there was a part of me that even felt a bit guilty for being pregnant at all. If you can decide what you need from her then tell her or get your DH to if you feel you can't - even if that means not seeing her for a while - she should understand, after all she will have an idea of what you're going through. You need to be a bit selfish for a while while you heal physically and emotionally - don't feel guilty about that.

i feel for you i know what your going through its hard i know give it time u will get through it i'm so sorry chick but only time heals 8years on and i still think about what i went through after loseing my baby but went on to have three healthy boys and 1 girl all my thoughts r with you xxxxxxxxxxxxnikie

Hey thinking of you - we had a scan at 11+ weeks with my first pregnancy and the same had happened to me. Baby had passed over a week before. It is such a tremendous shock. I did it the natural way too but had to go into hospital and stay overnight. When I first fell pregnant I was dreading telling my sister as she had had 2 early miscarriages, it was tough, we cried together. We conceived again after 3 months and are due baby anytime now. My sister is pregnant now too. I am sure your sister-in-law will support you as best she can.
Can I recommend that you buy some Bach Flower Rescue Remedy to help with your emotions and be nice to yourself - it hurts like hell I know. Next time you fall pregnant you'll be scared for a while but it does get better. When you feel like facing the world go and have a complementary therapy treatment as it will help you to heal emotionally and physically.

Thinking of you.
xxx

hugs to you Jay#
Not much to add just empathy. I had 2 natural early mcs then a missed mc where I opted for d+c. IT is horrendous and you will be resentful to others who are pg/just given birth. It is completely normal emotions to go through. I also had just given birth to dd when my friend found out she had a missed mc it was horrible for both of us as she was upset and I was gutted for her knowing what it is like to go through. Will say she is now pregnant again [as am I] and all is well. After my first 2 mcs I then went on to have ds, then missed mc then dd and am now 22wks with no.3. Just give yourself time then try again and use these boards for support there are some fab ladies around here.

Thank you everyone once again for being so kind. My SIL has not mentioned it & I am finding it reall hard to be in the same room as her now, we are not very close so probably won't ever talk about it.

My parents & DH keeps asking me if I've decided what I want to do, I just want to wait to see if it will happen naturally so far nothing has. I want to wait till my next scan don't know why just do.

I thought I would be an emotional wreck but I haven't had a good cry since last week at the hospital, I just feel tired all the time.

I don't have many close friends so this site has been a Godsend, you are all really special people and I thank you for being there.

Love from Jay xx

Hi everyone,
I am supposed to be 9 weeks pregnant according to the normal calculations. Last week i started to bleed and had to go to the hospital. The doctor had a look and said that it looked like a miscarriage, he took a blood test to check the hourmons and i was supposed to have a scan this week. However i got horrible pains and had to go back on the next day. He had a look again and said that it is 100% deffinately a miscarriage. He even took the bits out and showed me and said that it was the tissue I was put to hospital overnight and had a scan next morning. The person who scanned said that there was a tiny baby still in there. But she couldn't see the heartbeat. And she said that it didn't look like a 9 week old and also the heartbeat should be seen when the fetus is 9 weeks old. Now i'm waiting for the next scan to see if the heartbeat will be seen, and if my baby is alive. Does enyone know what might have happend. Could it be that those "tissues" what the doctor took out where just bloodclots or is it possible that it could have been a twin. Although the lady who took a scan said that she cant see any traces of another fetus. Would the twin be smaller than a single fetus? I have a scan in few days now but i can't stop thinking what happened and if my baby is ok.

Poor you - how confusing and scary for you. Could be it was twins and one has come away naturally and the other has not yet come away. Could be that some of the placenta has come away and not the baby as yet. I am not sure of exact dates but I think they can see a heartbeat when baby is just 5 weeks. Sorry - I am sure that doesn't help much but I hope you are okay.xxx