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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Lack of support during miscarriage

4 replies

Laurielou10 · 21/06/2014 08:56

I started spotting just over 2 weeks ago, I was 6 weeks pregnant with my surprise 1st (I'm 42, had a come biopsy 7 years ago, have PCOS and was told that I would most likely never conceive) anyway, I rang the early pregnancy clinic and was told they couldn't see me until the Monday. When I said I was concerned I was told "well if you're going to miscarry you're going to miscarry" I was panic stricken. I was in work and sent to A&E who then sent me to another hospital who would scan me as they were concerned I could have an ectopic pregnancy (something the EPC didn't seem to think of) I was scanned and all was fine, gestational sac, baby pole and yolk sac were all perfect but it was a little early to see a heartbeat so they told me to keep the Monday scan appt at the other hospital. They also checked my cervix which looked good too. I spotted on the Friday then on the Friday night I bled a wee bit heavier (not as heavy as a period) and went to A&E at the hospital that scanned me the day before, scanned again and cervix checked and all was fine. Told only to be concerned if I was soaking a pad every half hour to an hour and is I passed large blood clots - I didn't. Anyway Monday came and off I went to the scan (by this stage I had no bleeding but some brown staining. The nurse first of all couldn't find my womb then she said the womb was empty, then she said she say an empty sac and it wasn't a viable pregnancy then she decided that no, she was wrong and that everything was in it's place and that she could ever see a faint flicker of a heartbeat. All the while the internal probe was being pushed about inside me like a dyson vacuum cleaner! She said she would see me in a week because she was concerned that I was bleeding much, I said I had stopped bleeding and she said no, you're bleeding a lot now. Anyway I got dressed and was ushered out. My friend who was with me asked me to ring the other hospital as she was worried, they brought me down and scanned me only to say that I was miscarrying at that time, I was totally devastated, they were lovely and gave me lots of advice. I went home to rest and await the rest of my pregnancy to end. Has anyone else felt that they were let down because they were in early pregnancy? The nurse who was rough with the scanner also said as I left "these scams don't cause a miscarriage btw" which I thought was odd. Even my own GP said that particular hospital let me down. I'm still distraught, I was so content and happy and everything was going well, I'm petrified that if I conceive again that the same thing will happen :-(

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Pobblewhohasnotoes · 21/06/2014 09:44

I'm so sorry OP.

Yes I felt totally unsupported by the hospital when I mc. Not only did they talk to me in the middle of a packed waiting room, but they suggested that maybe it was just my period (after several positive tests..). They handed me a leaflet about mc and sent me home, that was about it.

UML · 21/06/2014 10:51

I've had various experiences during my miscarriages, at one of them the doctor at the a & e department asked my why I came into hospital, and what I was expecting from them. I will never forget that experience I wish I had sent in a complaint.

On another occasion, after I was scanned after my miscarriage, there was a lovely lady who took me to a side room and talked briefly about miscarriages and told me about counselling/support.

It is difficult in these situations, but don't feel afraid to ask questions or be assertive about vocalising your concerns. I know the NHs is understaffed and things are busy but some staff seem to totally lack people skills.

It must have been scary not knowing what was happening, or having things explained properly and in a considerate way ...

Laurielou10 · 21/06/2014 13:19

One lady who was in waiting area with me said she was treated in another hospital and that a nurse came in and started discussing other patients problems in front of her, she was horrified

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Laurielou10 · 21/06/2014 13:20

The second hospital I went to were amazing, the one where I attended the scan on the day I miscarried with the heavy handed nurse were awful. No support whatsoever :/

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