Mmc at 12 week scan

[Rebeccaelizabethxo]

Two weeks ago my partner and I went to our 12 week scan full of excitement only to be told I had had a mmc at 9 weeks. I was utterly heartbroken, to have no signs whatsoever, it was such a shock.

I had a ERPC just two days after our scan as we were going on holiday just a few days later, I feel like I've had no time to digest what has happened, everything still feels so raw.

I'd love to talk to others that have been in this situation as none of my friends or family have miscarried and I just feel very alone with no one to turn to

This happened to me a few years ago and It had been unplanned and I was unable to try again for a few years which made it so so hard.

It was the hardest thing to process, especially as I had no idea you could mc without knowing it, I thought that having got to 12 weeks with no blood I was safe!

I hope you have lots of love and support because it is one of the hardest things and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Personally I took some comfort in knowing that it was less likely to be my bodies fault as my body had tried so hard to keep it going that it had kept it there for 4 weeks.

The good news is you do move on eventually, though you have to get past feeling guilty whenever you realise you feel ok again. You baby will always be in your heart and will be a guardian angel to any future babies you have!

I am now 19 + 5 with my first, right now babies kicking me every so often and I have my 20 week scan on Thursday :) So there is a chance of a bright future. I'm sure you'll be back here with a healthy baby soon just like me :)

Rebecca I am so sorry for your loss. I could've written your post last July. I had a MMC at 12 weeks, I went for the scan oblivious to anything being wrong, I still had symptoms. The baby had died a few weeks before, there was no heartbeat. I was in shock to start with! I had an ERPC the next day.

It took a few weeks for the reality of what had happened to actually hit me. I naively imagined I would get over it quickly and move on. I found those 'milestones' particularly difficult. What would've been the 20 week scan etc. I had days when I felt really sad and like my like body had let me down. However, I totally agree with what alita said, your body held on to it and it wasn't your body's fault. Try and take hope from that and that you can carry a baby and WILL!

I still think about the baby I lost everyday (a year on) but you do move on and you will find peace with it. It does take time though. I started trying again a few months after, that helped me although I felt a bit neurotic about getting pregnant again and wanted it to happen straight away. It took me 6 months but now I firmly believe that was my body's way of healing and needing time to get over what had happened.

Can I suggest you look in the Body and soul section where there are specific threads on pregnancy loss and miscarriage. There are lots of amazing women who have been through this or are going through this. I spent months on there and still pop in now and again to read or post. It helped me immensely and definitely helped me process and deal with what had happened.

Keep posting and be kind to yourself. It really is a bereavement and takes time x