Possibly inappropriate...

[Sleepyhoglet]

I'm worried that I won't be able to give birth naturally. This is because I think I'm too tight down there. When I had a smear test the nurse even commented on it. I want to know if other people in my situation have had problems or if it all magically worked. Perhaps tmi but I can only fit 2 fingers and need lube during sex. Wondering if I will ever be examined as don't want to try to labour naturally then get stuck with forceps. That's my worst fear.

Hi OP. I wouldn't worry about it, everyone has to dilate to 10cm to give birth, regardless of original size! I'm sure you'll be fine. All the best.

So it isn't just the cervix that enlarges? I'm so clueless!

Err.... I had a c-section, possibly I'm not the expert I think I am! (DD didn't fancy coming out the natural way) but yes in theory you have to get big enough to get the head out, don't you? Plus I don't think you're unusual in your 2 fingers analogy in your op; honestly, you'll definitely be fine.

Examining you pre-labour wouldn't really tell them anything. Yes, your cervix dilates to 10cm and then the baby moves down your vagina. It all stretches though. Think about it, even the, erm, roomiest of women cannot routinely get something 10cm across into themselves. Even if you are 'tight', the difference between you and anyone else is very small compared to the difference between what goes in and what comes out!

Also, there is a technical word for it, but giving birth is an expulsive impulse over which you have no control. It's different.

Forceps isn't really about the vagina being too tight. It's about not being able to push strongly enough to move the baby down and out. That's most often a problem lying down, but obviously also happens in other positions. It's just that lying down your anatomy means you are basically pushing uphill.

I was quite tight and it was fine. I was also terrified of forceps and ended up having ventouse. That was actually the best bit as I was numbed and didn't feel a thing. Now I'm a bit looser and my DH prefers sex. So it can be positive definitely. If you are anxious I recommend the Natal Hypnotherapy CD's

The tightness is muscular and your body releases this thing called 'relaxin' during pregnancy... relaxes your muscles automatically (the ones that need loosening).
I am similar and asked a MW, who told me this.

I was very tight pre pregnancy, then DS and his big fat head came pushing out and spoiled it all!

You will be fine, your body knows what to do :)

I'm a lesbian and I've never had penetrative sex, plus I usually use lube during sex. I find smears really uncomfortable as well (though, to be honest I don't think anyone enjoys a smear...)

I'm also a vet and I'm honestly not that worried about this aspect of birth.

First off - lubrication, this really isn't an issue during birth, you make masses of it and on top of that as your water break there is amniotic fluid plus your baby is covered in vernix so everything is good and slippy!

For anyone having a first baby their cervix has never dilated before, this is why first births are often a bit slower, what happens here is the the cervix thins and thins until it is a line with the walls of your usterus. As for the vagina and vulva as some other posters have mentioned you'll have the hormone relaxin to help with that. Plus, birth is a fairly slow process, there is time for tissues to stretch without damage.

Perhaps some positive antenatal classes might help reassure you? Or maybe a positive birth group? Learning how this all goes may help you feel more relaxed when time comes.

Look it'll be fine the human body is very odd :)