labour fears

[Ljialnye]

I'm not sure if I'm on my own on this one but I am now pregnant with my second baby and am already terrified of labour! :( I am suffering from panic attacks and don't want to spend the next 34weeks thinking about the prospect of giving birth again. My first child's labour pains shocked me and I did not cope well at all, I blacked out because of the shock and did not feel in control at all.. this time I would like to feel as if I'm controlling the situation to some extent and maybe find ways to remain a little more relaxed. Does anybody share my fears or have some suggestions for me? Thank you so much xx

Hi OP, I am also terrified of labour second time round!

I'm 32 weeks and am dreading it. Sounds terrible but first time round my waters broke then I had 12 hours of intense horrendously painful contractions before DS was born. The contractions were just so painful and I hated the feeling of pressure as baby came down.

This time I would like an epidural but I still have to get to the stage of having an epidural and what if they say no?

It does all worry me. I'm high risk and have to have a hospital birth having previously given birth on the mlu, with pool and gas and air (what a joke gas and air is! I was using the mouth piece to bite on).

DS is wonderful obviously, but I hated labour and I haven't forgotten it.

Hypnobirthing or natal hypnotherapy - I know what you mean about feeling the lack of control, and (for me) honestly not expecting labour to be as painful as it was! Second time round I used natal hypnotherapy, birthed at home in water and it was honestly amazing - an entirely different experience to first time round!

Agree with Rockchick - look into hypnobirthing. Practical ways to prepare for and manage your labour. Look at The Wise Hippo - it's fairly new, relaxed and easygoing. Good luck x

See I used the pool first time round and all it did was slow my labour down and I had to get out. It did bugger all in terms of pain, I wouldn't use it again even if I was allowed to.

Why would they say no to an Epidural? Check with your hospital before you go and make your MW aware that you are very worried about it and would like an Epidural as soon as you can (think it's at 4cm).

I've been attending Lazy Daisy Classes and feel much more prepared about Labour now so I would recommend those.

I guess because you hear stories off refusing them, and I know they can lead to interventions.

Last time I kept asking for one but was told I was doing rally well. I didn't feel like that. But I did give birth without tearing.

I've got a tens machine this time though.

Definitely look into hypnobirthing. Start looking into it now before more weeks go by. It can make a MASSIVE difference.

I would do as above - make it very clear in your notes that you want an epidural as soon as you are permitted. I would also make sure that the MW attending the hospital when you go in are aware of your anxiety and really impress the knowledge that you are fully aware of the potential ramifications of having one but that you are 100% sure you want to go that route on them too. It's hard when you're in pain to be firm about your choices, so maybe make sure whoever is with you knows that when you ask for one, you really mean it too - having support from someone who will hopefully be able to be calm but firm about it might help if you're too involved in the labour process to want to have to fight your corner too.

Thank you all for your advice! I'm definitely going to look in to it.. I've developed insomnia because of the sheer worry of labour :( my partner just tells me 'it will be ok' but he couldn't possibly start to understand the pain! The whole thought of labour has made me so stressed and grumpy that I can't even look forward to my baby, I did start to get excited and feel somewhat of a bond until I remember 'labour', now I even get moments when I regret getting pregnant - all because I know I have to go through labour again! I must sound like a terrible mum! :(

Ljialnye
Labour can be daunting. We've grown up hearing horror stories, watching OBEM and the typical ER type scenario. It's really nothing like that.

I felt exactly like you did until I took a GentleBirth workshop with my hubby. I promise you, I am not lying when I say that I and every other mother in that room bounced out of there excited about labour. My first baby was a very traumatic event. I didn't get to labour at all. My second baby was vbac and the best experience of my life.

Have a look into GentleBirth. If you need help sourcing a workshop in your area please let me know.

Hey Calmbirthbecky, please can you help me find local places who do the workshop? I live in Cardiff x