Fed up of feeling like a failure (rant)

[iamelectrogirl]

Firstly I'm new but I've found everyone so helpful already so thankyou
Basically (not sure where to start) I'm 19 and almost 16 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I've just finished my first year of university but I decided to move home and take at least a year off to focus on my baby, my parents are very supportive and they're helping me financially as and when I need it (I've got some savings and job interviews lined up).
I'm also going to be a single parent- when I decided to continue the pregnancy (it was very unexpected) my baby's dad completely walked away. I'm still finding this really hard to deal with as I completely thought he was 'the one' and we'd been living together. So far he's never been to an appointment, he ignores my texts and him and his family (his parents are barristers with lots of money and he has 20k savings) have refused to ever see or support this baby.
I'm from a really close family so I'm finding it really hard to take in they live less than 10 miles away but they couldn't care less.
I've found it hard to keep in touch with friends since we just don't seem to have anything in common anymore since I'm obv not going clubbing etc- plus a lot of mine and my baby's dad's friends took his side and don't really want to speak to me anymore.
I'm finding everything quite hard at the moment my family have been wonderful but I can't help but feel lonely and like I've messed absolutely everything up. I know my baby's dad is spending this summer travelling and going to festivals when I'm stuck at home desperately trying to save up enough money for this baby and I can't help but feel slightly jealous even though I know my baby will be worth it.
Anybody who's still reading- thankyou!

Been there my ex walked out neither him or his family have met my little one amd at first broke my heart but my lo doesn't miss what never had. But it does get easier im lucky o got a very supportive family and a lovely bf who adores my son and im 7 weeks pg .
The friends who fall out with you you don't need
It's hard now but honestly it does get better xx

Hi hun going through the same thing with my baby's dad, he text me - didn't even have the decency to say it to my face - that he can't be arsed, that he doesn't want another kid and to do whatever I want. I'm actually already going through a horrendous time and don't even know if I've miscarried the baby until tomorrow when I get my blood results back for them to compare. There isn't really anything I can say to help except you've made an amazing decision to bring a baby into the world. Anyway here for a chat if you need one x

I think that if he has walked away you need to be glad you've seen his true colours now, not in 3 years time.

You sound like you have a fab family; uni will be there in a year, as will festivals and travelling (I promise you can take the baby and life doesn't stop!).

Is it the life you planned? No, probably not. But, do you know what, no one ever lives completely the life they had planned. With your family and your baby and you taking on the world, will it be an awesome life anyway? You can bank on it.

He sounds like a total loser so you and your baby are better off without him! Great to hear your family are there for you. As for him being the one...honestly you will look back in a few years time and laugh. It hurts so much (you are young!) but that heartbreak will ease and you will realise you deserve so much more. You sound like you have your head screwed on so you'll be just fine. I've just missed my best friend's wedding abroad where allmy mates gathered for a big party/holiday...i couldn't go as planes won't take me at this late stage...i was gutted just like u will be re:the festivals but it's just this year and your baby will make it all worth while.
Good luck, stay positive...and sadly in my experience families which you might expect to have high morals (such as the barristers/well educated) often lack just that so don't expect anything from them. You and your child are probably better off without people like that in your lives.

You will get to know other people in your home town, and perhaps become friends with some other mums. So try not to worry about the lack of friends atm. its temporary. Having a supportive family is a massive bonus particularly for a younger mum. Why not try a mn local meetup? Or join nct? Perhaps contact tje hv team to see if there are any groups nearby.

It will be fine. Better to know now that he's an ass than when you have become dependant on him. Your life will go on, your family sound fantastic and you can't beat that. Your life is not over because you are having a baby, your life is about to be enriched and he is going to miss out on it.

Speaking from experience legally, you can get maintenance off him. You should make an application to the child support agency for maintenance and then hound them to follow it up. If he ever does decide to step up and provided maintenance directly to you, then you should keep a record of it, if it comes in cash but the best way is to have him deposit money into your bank account as this will keep a traceable record.