Possibly pregnant after MC and worried

[mollywobble]

My period is six days late and I think I might be pregnant. I've had minor back pains, like the very beginning of a period pain, off and on since it was due. Last year I had a pregnancy that didn't turn out so well. I wasn't sure of the dates - the pregnancy was not planned and I couldn't really remember when my last period had been. I think it could have been 7-8 weeks. I started noticing other symptoms, tested positive and not much later I started noticing spotting, which turned into bleeding and eventually cramping pains. I saw the doctor, who confirmed a miscarriage.

I can feel no excitement over this possible pregnancy, only worry that whatever happened before might happen again. I feel like I actually got off lightly last time - the miscarriage itself was no worse than a heavy period - I'm sure many people go through things a thousand times more horrible. I don't even want to do a test. I feel like once I've done it, it will be real, and if it all goes wrong again I'll have no choice but to face that situation. If I keep on in semi-denial, I can tell myself and my partner that it was just a fluke of the menstrual system. Insane as this sounds, and as I know it is, I almost feel like it would be bad luck to do a test, after all, until I knew for sure last time, everything was going swimmingly.

Did anyone else ever feel like this? How did you get past ridiculous superstitions like the one I've just described?

Hi Molly, I had an early miscarriage last year and can totally relate to what you're saying. In the end I tested because 1 I just knew I was pregnant, without a doubt 2 if the worst were to happen and you have 3 or more mcs, you'd be eligible for investigations to find any underlying cause, and I couldn't bear the thought of there being a 'reason' that I didn't know about (there usually isn't, by the way, but that's just the way my brain was working). But nobody can make you take a test, and if it were to be positive, your chances of a successful pregnancy are just as good as anyone else's! Personally I found the worry does get better over time, but those first months are really hard. Hang in there!

I can totally understand how you feel. At the moment you have no proof you are pregnant, you are simply waiting for AF, and that feels safer than knowing you are pregnant and being scared to death you will start bleeding and potentially have another MC.

It's still early days. You can sit on your hands a bit longer in your What If bubble. They don't start being interested in you until 8 weeks anyhow, most midwives won't contemplate booking you in before then.

Good luck! Hope you get the result you want xx

I totally understand. I had a miscarriage last autumn and even though we planned to get pregnant again the fear and worry it brought was quite overwhelming. After our miscarriage we were told the chances of a healthy pregnancy were just the same as they had always been. There have been a few moments of worry but I have a healthy bump of 27 weeks. You will know one way or another eventually and maybe speaking to GP or EPU is worth considering. Look after yourself and I hope it all goes well. xx

Hello everyone,

Even though I knew my situation is far from unique, it is really good to hear from others that they felt the same way I feel. Thank you!

I think Ruth is right, it's better to know, if only because if there is some underlying cause there's no chance of finding out unless you clock up three MCs first.

Maybe I'm wrong, and there's nothing going on in there! I've never had a six-day late period before though...

Thanks again for replying everyone xx