To tell or not to tell

[Sonics]

I'm having a bit of a dilemma that I hope you can help with - sorry for the long post.

I am in the 7th week of a new job and found out I was pregnant 3 weeks in. We've been trying for over 3 years so I'm over the moon but it's typical it happens now. I really don't know what to do about telling work.

I was planning on waiting until after I've passed my probation but I'll be 14 weeks at that point so not sure how visible bump will be, and I also don't want it to seem like I've waited so I can just say "by the way I'm pregnant".

I'm 8 weeks now and some days are a struggle. Today for example I slept really badly last night and was sick this morning and felt generally really rough. I have made up an excuse about a bad stomach and am working from home but it would be so much easier if my boss knew the reason why so I could just tell her I'm having a rubbish day and not have to lie to her.

I know the law is on my side and I've only had good feedback so far so it would be difficult for them to extend my probation or just get rid of me after telling them the news but I'm still really nervous.

Anyone have any thoughts or advice?

When I had my first I was still in probation period and never caused any problems in fact it helped as they knew why I was soo ill not just calling in sick for no reason etc

Probation period means nothing in law - they can get rid of you for no reason at all within first 2 years as long as it's not discriminatory (pregnancy is sex discrimination) so you may as well tell them now as wait until the end of probation.

I'd just tell your line manager now and ask her to keep it quiet until your 12 week scan.

I've been there. I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks after starting a new job. I kept it under my belt until my probation had ended (3 months)

I didn't really show until 18 weeks but I hid it well with baggy clothes. I had horrendous sickness til 20ish weeks but I just hid it the best I could.

They can't dismiss you for being pregnant and its worth remembering you are not entitled to time off for antenatal appointments until they know. Also if you have any pregnancy related illness (which is normally not used against you in the event of disciplinary proceedings) you would need to report as a "normal" sickness instance so you loose some protection.

My employer has been great since knowing. I do regret not telling them earlier.

BTW big congratulations!!

Thanks Nat. I felt bad lying to my boss this morning. I'd told her last week I felt dodgy as well and today she started asking me about going to see the doctor about it etc etc. we have an early scan booked on Saturday so if all goes well there I think I might have to tell them

Thanks South and RockChick that's really helpful. My DH doesn't want to me to tell so will have to talk him round!

I think everyone is right. I'd be inclined to tell them - firstly because you are afforded more legal protection once they are officially notified, and secondly because, as mentioned, you want them to understand that this is not 'typical' behaviour for you and that there is a reason you might be off sick or unable to do particular jobs some days. They can't get rid of you just because you're pregnant, probation period or not.

Good luck for your scan, congratulations!

I didn't even get my scan until 13 weeks so you could quite easily argue that you didn't want to say anything until after your scan and you knew you were in the clear? x

I don't think you will have much to show bump wise by 14 weeks. The baby is still very small. It's more bloating before then so if this is your main worry then you could wait.

Watching your thread with interest as I'm in a similar position. More scared of telling them than my parents!!

X