feeling low

[saraannika]

9 weeks and 6 days and I am feeling horrible. I never thought it would be this hard. I spend most of my time feeling sick and extremely tired. It's my husband's birthday today and apart from buying two birthday gifts, I haven't been able to do anything.

There have been times where I wonder if it's all worth it. For example there was a little girl who would not get on the bus. She cried and stamped her feet like a spoilt little brat. You could see the stress and anxiety on her mother's face. And all I could think to myself is I am glad I am not her. I know it's a horrible thing to write but ...... what if you put all this effort in and end up with a child like that.

Sounds as though you are at pretty much the worst part of pregnancy, when the exhaustion and sickness are at/close to a peak. For the vast majority of women, it really does improve, usually by week 12.

Well done on getting some presents for your husband!I wasn't able to do that this year because my sickness has lasted until now (I'm 32wks) which is just awful.

All kids are brats sometimes, but, then, so are a fair few adults! Everyone has their moments, especially on a bad day, but it doesn't mean your child is going to be a brat 100% of the time... just sometimes! I guess throwing a tantrum is part of being a child and, let's face it, we all threw them at one point or another It will totally be worth it (that's what I keep telling myself anyway!!) xx

Sympathy here!

I'm 13 weeks pregnant but am just returning to work on Monday after 6 weeks off. I have been so sick with vomiting and all day nausea, there were times when I really wanted to die.

I couldn't look after my 16 month old ds, couldn't walk the dog, cook, clean- absolutely debilitating.

I got lots of help on the hyperemisis thread.

You aren't alone. There were days when I really wished that I wasn't pregnant.

It's also hard as people don't really understand more than feeling a little bit sick in the mornings in pregnancy.

They will come out with all sort of annoying things like "have you tried ginger biscuits?" Most people have very little understanding of how hard early pregnancy sickness is. (I was probably one of these people before I experienced it myself)

Completely second what dotty said - I also find the hyperemesis thread a god-send. I don't know what I'd do without it.

Also, ditto what dotty said about there being a big difference between a bit of nausea/sickness in early pregnancy and being able to pretty much get on with work/life most of the day - vs being completely debilitated through awful sickness, so you can't eat/drink/function. All of my friends (every last one) has had some sickness but were still able to go to work. For me, it has been the complete opposite. I haven't been able to go to work since the end of January and despite being 32wks, I'm still sick :-( So, it affects everyone differently. If you are really sick and unable to keep food/water down, please see your GP because there are drugs that are safe to take in pregnancy that will help you.

It can be rough. It really can be. Hopefully you are just at the peak of feeling terrible (9-10 weeks is often the worst) but yes, if you are struggling to eat or drink then there are approved medications you can take to help you function better. But the exhaustion of the first trimester, plus nausea, plus not eating properly is a perfect storm of helping you to feel utterly rubbish.

If it is any consolation I pretty much hated my entire pregnancy, I never really glowed or felt blooming with a baby or any of the cliches. I was tired, sick, stressed and overly emotional the entire time. Now hopefully you will start feeling better really soon and love your pregnancy - but if you don't it's fine. Many, many women really don't like being pregnant at all.

I also now have the toddler who can scream and shout and stamp. They do. Sadly. This morning, for instance, she thought it would be amusing to push me with her feet while I was crouched down changing her nappy, and I fell back onto my arse and whacked my head on the sink. Brilliant. But what you don't often see is what else they do - hug you, rub your head, get the plasters out of the drawer, "sorry Mummy, look, a plaster, plaster makes Mummy all happy now..."

When you feel fucking awful all pregnancy it is so hard to focus on anything nice and it is so easy to see doom and gloom everywhere. But you will start to feel better at some point, and it will be ok. Promise.

I really feel for you, I had bad sickened till 16 weeks it is horrible. I couldn't hardly eat (which isn't like me).

Even the thought of that stage makes me want to vomit.

Ok 20 weeks now and I felt good for a few weeks but I'm starting to get tired again, it does get better. The tiredness is alot easier to manage without being sick as well. Hope you feel better soon xx

I hate being pg, feels like a complete loss of control, always tired and in low levels of pain but it really is worth it - yes toddlers have lots of really bad moments especially when they're tired at the end of the day but when they hug you and tell you they love you or come and sit on your lap with a book there aren't many better feelings in the world (drinking cocktails on a beach in the Caribbean aside :)

It is so much harder than I ever imagined and I think that's part of what makes it hard!

I was awfully ill until 12 weeks but it's eased now at 23 weeks. Still not 'loving' it though, find the lack of control over my body, people's comments and generally being pregnant quite overwhelming.

I am thrilled to be pregnant but it's tough. Remember you are not alone, look after yourself x