older pregnancy

[katey291]

hi never been on here before so not sure I'm doing this right. Have literally just found out I am pregnant and I am extremely confused about what I want as I am 36, 37 when baby due, and I thought my baby days were over my husband and I already have three kids and they are 20,16, and 11!!!!!!!!! just got my first taste of independance and thinking of starting my own business. Also my middle son has epilepsy(controlled) ADHD and mild autistic spectrum and as much as I love him the thought of having another child with similar problems fills me with fear. I have also had an abortion as I fell pregnant 6 weeks after my middle son and although I know it was the right thing it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life!! I am so confused!! And STUPID!!!

I'm 36, I don't think it's old at all to be having a baby! When I asked the midwife last week about additional risks at "my age" she basically laughed, said that although my chances of some things were starting to go up I should ask her again in ten years and even then then likelihood was that I'd have a healthy baby.

So whatever other factors you need to consider, I wouldn't overly worry about your age.

Hi I'm 42 and DC3 is 8months old. I have 2DCs of 15 & 13 and he was by far the easiest pregnancy and the best thing ever (although a huge surprise at the time). Enjoy and beat wishes

First off, 36 is not considered dangerously old in any way. The media are quite misleading on this: what actually happens between 35-40 is that it takes most women longer to fall pregnant, so it can be frustrating and worrying for first time mums. The big risks of miscarriage and disability start to rise about the age of 40. In the old days loads of women still had babies in their mid 30s... it was just not their 1st. The media get fussed scaring us about starting too late then finding it takes years not months to fall.

I suffer from APS which causes miscarriage if untreated (not age related, and treated now thankfully) so have had extensive education and reading up on this over the last few years (basically had to have several losses/history of symptoms in order to be tested for APS so couldn't start a family young).

So when you are thinking about what to do, don't worry too much about the age thing.

The considerations about stuff like being able to care for kids with SN and a new baby, finances/business in the future etc' are the tough ones ... not so much being 36. :)

Thanks for this advice. When I think about it I think my biggest thing is that after having my other three so young I thought that this would be mine and my husbands time .All I have ever known my whole adult life is being responsible for others and although I am still responsible things were just getting relatively easy and I had time for me. God I sound so selfish!

You don't sound selfish at all.....I think it is a reasonable emotion to have when you have older kids. I am 41 and currently pregnant with DC2 although it is my first with DH (we both have children from previous marriage/relationship) His DS is 21! and mine is 8. I am very nervous about having a newborn around again but it was important for us to try to have a child together albeit a bit later than we should have!

MelMc71 Thanks its not so much the newborn bit but the whole 18 years after that lol!!! Good luck with yours and again thanks it's nice to hear other people's perspective .

I'm 36 and 31 wks pregnant with my first. My mum was considered high risk when she was pregnant at my age with my youngest bro. When I said to midwife about my age she said, until you're in your early 40s you're not considered higher risk.

As it happens I've had an easy pregnancy so I don't think age should worry you at all.

I had my first at 37! Everything straightforward apart from hyperemisis - not age related - and emcs, also not age related.