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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Anyone else anxious about finding out the sex?

30 replies

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 08/06/2014 12:29

Please dont flame me.

I have a dd, and have my 20 weel scan next week. I have very strong Girl feelings and am starting to get anxious that I may well be carrying a boy.

I never had a preference with this or my last pregnancy but for some reason I have this niggle that this pregnancy is also a girl. I am worried that, for no justifiable reason, I will feel disappointed at my scan.

I dont know why....a boy would be equally as wonderful as a girl, and the only boy on my side since my father was born (and he only has a sister), and the only boy under 30 on DHs side. Maybe its because I have this strong feeling that findng out its wrong will make me think I dont know my own body.

I dont know....

I think part of me is scared at the unknown and whilst I wouldnt treat a boy any differently to dd, there may well be things I have to do differently to dd.....I dont know?!

Arg......

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mollysmummy1970 · 08/06/2014 12:41

I don't really have much advice but just wanted to tell u my experience.

I'm a very girly girl and always have been, and for years before my DP and I decided to have a baby I very openly used To go on about how I really wanted a girl etc.

Then at my 12 week scan I just knew it was a boy, the shape of his face and everything just pointed that way. I had my gender scan at 16weeks and it confirmed I was carrying a boy. I was maybe a little dissapointed but not as much as I thought because I think I knew.

Now that he's here I can't believe I was ever so silly, he's amazing and wouldn't wish for anything else.

So it was just to say u may very well feel dissapointed at ur scan, but there will honestly be nothing like that once he's here.
Plus In ur case, think how lovely it'll be to have one of each

NickNackNooToYou · 08/06/2014 12:49

I was convinced I was having a girl, 100% certain but decided to find out at the birth....I had a boy! I was so over whelmed by the the fact I'd just given birth I totally forget he was supposed to be a girl!!

Roll on 2 years and the exact same thing happened, I have great maternal instinct

Instead of focusing on the sex of the baby, focus on the fact a small person is forming inside you It still blows my mind....oh and I couldn't imagine my boys being girls, I made them well with abit of help from DH

somedizzywhore1804 · 08/06/2014 12:51

Just don't find out. I'm 36 weeks with DC1 and come from a family comprised soully of girls. My mum only has sisters, her mum only has sisters, my grandad and dad only had/have sisters, no male cousins. I've always wanted a girl and thought I'd be disappointed to find I was having a boy.... So I decided not to find out because I know if I do have a little boy on the day I will be thrilled and think he's amazing. I know if I'd found out during the pregnancy I'd have overthought it so I'm just going to leave it to the day. If it's a son I have then I will be meeting him when I find out so I will just be happy he's here.

RebeccaCloud9 · 08/06/2014 13:05

I would suggest too that maybe you would be best not finding out. I'm sure when the baby is born you will be so overwhelmed with love that you wouldn't even consider feeling disappointed either way? Whereas it is so much more of an abstract idea finding out at the scan.

If you do find out, and it is a boy, you will possibly be surprised anyway at your emotions and not feel bad at all!

Original poster

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 08/06/2014 13:10

I wouldnt bother finding out but dd is also absoloutley convinced its a girl and she is young so I want to be able to spend the rest of the pg saying "your baby brother".

OP posts:

theborrower · 08/06/2014 17:13

Re your DD - how old is she? We've been telling my 3 year old that we don't get to choose, and we'll find out when she/he is born and she seems totally fine with that. We talk about her being a big sister rather than it being her brother/sister. The emphasis is different.

I know someone that said their daughter really wanted a sister, they were a bit worried about it. When baby turned out to be a boy, she said "oh well" and that was that.

And remember that they can be wrong when they tell you the sex!

SomeSunnySunday · 08/06/2014 17:18

I have 2 boys and am completely and utterly convinced that dc3 will also be a boy. I just can't imagine having a girl at all. I do worry that I've invested too much in my fantasies of a little gang of boys, and will get a real shock if I have a girl. I mean, ultimately I'm sure I'd love a girl, but it's just not what I'm expecting. I think we'll wait until the birth to find out (and if I do have a girl, she'll just have to wear blue dinosaur-themed clothes until we can make it to the shops ).

porcito · 08/06/2014 17:24

I was the same - I'd always imagined my baby was a boy, could never have imagined myself with a girl and was anxious that somehow I would be disappointed. On the day we found out she was probably a girl, there was a moment of kind of 'oh' but that lasted a few minutes until I saw her moving and her mouth opening, and it didn't matter any more.

I wanted to know so I could 'prepare' myself with more ideas about girls. I'm glad I did as now I can call her a 'her' and she's more of a 'real person' than before. Once that happens, I think it's easier.

MrsMonkeyBear · 08/06/2014 17:58

I wasn't anxious about my reaction as it's never bothered me about the gender, I'd be happy with either. I was more anxious about my DHs reaction. He, being a man, wanted a boy and kept referring to bump to "him."

Well, on Thursday we had our 20 week scan and as planned found out what we were having. When the sonographer said it was a little girl, my DH started to cry!!! Not the reaction I was expecting and now he can't keep his hands off my belly. He's there saying that he loves her and can't wait to meet her.

Original poster

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 08/06/2014 17:59

Dd is two. We do say "you will be a big sister!!" But other people keep askong her what it is and what itwill be called (haha like its her call!)

OP posts:

Original poster

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 08/06/2014 18:00

It will also be our last pregnancy, so part of me feels it should be a boy for that - like I have this chance to give my husband a son and our parents a grandson, but then I think dd eould prefer a sister.

OP posts:

ImBrian · 08/06/2014 20:35

I have 4 dds and I'm pregnant with number 5. I'm not overly bothered though I have always liked the idea of having a son. The reason I'm nervous about finding out is that at our 13 week scan we were told it looked like a boy and my partner has really got his hopes up. He's desperate for a boy and will be a complete arsehole disappointed if it's a girl. I want to find out next weekend as soon as I'm 16 weeks so he doesn't have an extra 4 weeks to get excited!

Alita7 · 08/06/2014 22:05

I know how you feel. its my 20 week scan in 11 days and I have no preference about gender. BUT dp and I are convinced it's a girl. There are a few people who have very assertively told me they are certain it's a boy. And I don't want them to be right, I like to think I know my body! I know they don't really matter but I don't want I told you sos I just want to be happy with my baby :)

justhayley · 09/06/2014 02:49

I hate to say this now but with DS I really was desperate for a girl, I couldn't imagine having a boy and had a million gender stereotypes going on in my head of what is miss out on doing if I had a boy.
I found

justhayley · 09/06/2014 02:59

Oops posted to early

...out at 17 weeks I was having a boy and I won't lie I was gutted as was DP. It took me a while to imagine having a boy and be excited about it, I hated boys names and could not get excited about boys clothes know matter how hard I tried. It took a few weeks and then baby started moving and I started to bond properly with my bump. By the end of pregnancy I was so attached to him I was worried how I'd feel if I had a girl and they made a mistake . I now have the most perfect loving (train wheel and construction obsessed) little boy and love him more than life itself.

I'm now 34 weeks pregnant with a little girl. This time I wasn't bothered what I was having as I knew if love it ridiculously either way, but EVERYONe around me kept going on about how much I must be hoping for a girl - think other people would have been disappointed if I came back from the scan and announced it was another boy, there was almost a pressure on me to be carrying a girl and I could tell people didn't believe me when I said I wasn't bothered what I was having.
I have loved buying little girlie clothes but that's it, apart from that super shallow reason of wanting a girl 1st time. I'm just looking forward to having a baby. Really there's no difference between a newborn girl and boy they are just babies. And I think by the time you will notice gender differences you'l love your little person so much you won't even notice they will just be yours

Dizzywhore · 09/06/2014 07:53

One of each would be amazing you would get the best of both worlds but also giving your DD a sister is the best present! 2 girls is very special. Your DD won't care what it is when it's here. Find out or don't but just remember as long as it's healthy does it really matter.

Original poster

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 09/06/2014 07:58

Thanks everyone.

Lots of people keep saying "ooh you need one of each" but I dont feel like I lots out because I had a sister and not a brother. You are right though, either way, its still pretty amazing!

Maybe its just anxiety about the anomoly scan in general and thats what it is fixating on.

OP posts:

LBNM19 · 09/06/2014 08:33

When I was pregnant with my first child I was desperate for a girl, i couldn't imagine having a boy. I'm very girly.

We found out it was a boy but I actually wasn't disappointed, after he was born we found out he has a life limiting genetic condition.

This totally changed me as a person, as you can imagine, he is now 2 (very disabled. Cant walk, sit up etc) and we are pregnant with baby number 2 who is also a boy, I wasn't bothered in the slightest just glad he doesn't have the same condition (we had a CVS and it come back normal)

I don't think it matters about the sex of the baby any more it would be lovely to have a girl but also as lovely to have a boy, I adore my son xx

splendide · 09/06/2014 08:40

I have my 20 week scan today! When I first found out I was pregnant I really felt like I wanted a girl but now I really feel like I don't mind at all. I'm very nervous about the scan but not about the sex.

I am looking forward (hopefully) to giving the bump a pronoun and starting to think about names.

Original poster

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 09/06/2014 08:48

LBNM

Splendie good luck for today!!

OP posts:

splendide · 09/06/2014 09:04

Thanks! It's at 1.30, I'm going to go and get my hair done this morning to try to distract myself from the nerves.

Tranquilitybaby · 09/06/2014 09:57

Do you need to find out? You can't change the outcome, so maybe not finding out is the best way.

MummytoMog · 09/06/2014 10:33

I found out all three times, because I had a strong gender preference and was worried my first reaction at delivery would be disappointment if I didn't have time to bond with the baby as a little person with a name and a particular gender. I don't feel an overwhelming rush of love at delivery, it takes me a while to really bond with my babies, and for me it was absoutely the right choice to find out early.

The only one that got me really anxious was this one - this is a surprise third baby and I was really really hopeful it would be a girl. I had nightmares all night the night before the scan, but had picked out a nice boy name and pretty much convinced myself it was a boy and that would be lovely for DS. Now of course that two scans have said it's a girl, I'm really paranoid they've got it wrong, even though we've thought girl all along and she looked really girly at 12 weeks, then 16 and then 20 weeks.

Errrr2012 · 09/06/2014 10:46

Hi, I'm the other way round! I had a boy first time and have been convinced (very happily) that I'm having another one. I've been imagining my life with two fab little boys! And then we go to the scan last week and find out its a girl!! Total shock but I'm getting used to the idea now and am definitely excited at having a totally different experience this time. I think because I already had a boy I just couldn't picture myself with a girl, so I didn't! Anyway, it really doesn't matter as you'll love them whatever. X

LJHH · 09/06/2014 11:07

I am 30 weeks with my first baby, we had a private scan at 17 weeks to find out the gender.
I had convinced myself and was telling everybody that I thought my bump was a blue bump, I think partly because I thought I really wanted a girl and I didnt want my DP to see my "dissapointment" if it did turn out to be a boy. I am also pretty girly and was scared I wouldnt know what to do with boys (stupid huh?)

I can happily report, that yes, I am having a boy but I didnt have ANY dissapointed feelings at all, I was just so happy to have a healthy baby, my Mum and sisters (who came to the scan with us) were over the moon, my family is all girls and they were desperate for a grandson/newphew so this just made it extra special for me to see them so happy.

Honestly now if somebody said I could swap my boy bump for a girl bump, I would absolutely not change and I'm so excited to meet my little boy in a few weeks.

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