Sex!!

[sunshinegirl28]

I am 11 plus 4 with 12 week scan due on Wednesday. I have had 2 recent miscarriages and was advised by midwife to abstain from sex until after 12 weeks. Even though I want to start again I am very nervous. Are there any positions that could be damaging? Is it ok to have it every day or should we have it less often? Your thoughts w

Would be much appreciated! (Sorry pressed post early by mistake!)

I would avoid deep penetration positions or hard sex as could easily damage cervix and make it bleed (well it does me) , well that's what I was told, gentle sex spooning missionary etc ok, we tried hard sex once made me bleed afterwards so learnt my lesson! I have to abstain afterwards for 3 months which I can do easily but hubby not so much

Gosh - I wish I could even begin to think about having it every day! Maybe ask your midwife if she previously told you to abstain; she might have some ideas.

Being a recurrent MCer I am quite 'read up' on the causes of loss.

You might want to run this past an actual gynie Dr, the supervisor of midwives (who will be able to arrange a specialist MW to support you) or call the MC association. What was her reason for instructing you to abstain? If there was no reason I would be a little cross: rather than reassuring this has clearly caused you some concerns. I've been there (people adding safety instructions which turned out to be false, and the added guilt/stress) so it is worth checking in my experience.

The main medical need for pregnant women after 2 losses is actually clinical anxiety (i.e. the pregnancy is fine but added worries won't help mum)!

As far as I'm aware positions will not make one jot of difference.

In everything I've read and all the appointments I have attended over 2 years, the only reason sex would trigger MC would be a weak cervix, which usually manifests itself as later losses. Were yours late? If so, after 2 you should have consultant care and get instructions from them...
If you're on clexane or similar, it can cause painless bleeds which are alarming but do no harm (they are from the vagina/canal not the uterus), so it's kind of your choice.