How soon can I go out after C-section

[millysimmons]

Hi,
I'm having an elective c-section on the 18th sep & we have been invited to a family 40th birthday party in a hotel on the 24th. Have tried to get out of it or leave it as open but am getting pressure from MIL to go. Wondered how soon I will be up & about & I am really concerend about taking baby out so young to a large gathering, where there could be colds infections & smoke!! Am I being a 1st time over protective mum or would you not advise it? Are there any official guidelines on this. Have also had very bad SPD which hs left me on crutches & wheelchair bound so will not only be recovering from section but also from the SPD.
Cant ask DH what to do as he's away at sea at mo but really need to reply asap.
Ta

millysimmons you'll be so loved up with baby u wont want to go anywhere nad the thoughts of getting dressed up will be the last thing on your mind.
dont mind your MIL - putting pressure on you - you will have more important things than a 40th!!!
you wont miss anything , as your mind and body will be 100% occupied by baby and you should enjoy those first weeks with baby without her pressure.

my adivce - dont bother and make a grande debut for halloween when your all settled into the swing of things.

millysommons -your DP sounds switched on. I think any newly delivered mum who plans an evening out 6 days post birth (never mind C/S) is off their heads. You will be knackered! Tell her your midwife told you that you are not to go ( she's not to know it is a MW on the interenet )

OK i am mad. I ahd an unplanned but not an emergency section on a staurday was out on the tuesday because I was so bored with just wakling round the unit on the hour every hour, and we did go to a party on the following saturday for a couple of hours. Howverour DD was a very quiet baby, fed at regular hours and slept in between awking only once a night that i was going a bit stir crazy. We seem to be tough down in dorset as my sil went to a ball three weeks after her section and another friend of mine was out to lunch the next day! We were under no pressure to go to the party, DD didn't come with us but was left with a friend who was with me during the day helping me as we live in the sticks and I couldn't drive. My policy is if you don't want to go don't do it.

sophie did you breastfeed? milly intends to

Hi hope you don't mind me crashing in on this thread - new to mumsnet and saw this thread and had to respond!!

I had c-section in September last year was in hospital for 4 days and went for a walk in town with hubby and son when he was a week old. I felt like complete crap afterwards and wish i'd stayed at home!! I was knackered and my wound was very sore, to be honest think I did too much too soon cos it still niggles me now.

My advice would be to ditch the party (and the mother-in-law; i assume thats what an MIL is?) and stay at home enjoying your baby. If you're going on 24th thats only six days you could be in hospital for five of those anyway so i'd really say no.

Hope that helps you a bit anyway x

I don't think the C-section is the issue. However you delivered you probably wouldn't be able to commit with a week old baby. Sure everything may be fine, but you may spend the whole time on your own trying to settle a crying baby. I had 2 sections and neither of them gave me any problems but i still wouldn't have been comfortable commiting to a party where there might be smoke and germs

What is it with MIL and their guilt trips? whenever I was ill in my pregnancies mine would proudly announce that she was never healthier than when she was pregnant and was working till the day she went into labour. After my emer section she said she'd never had a problem in labour and that sort of thing tends to come from the mother! I tried to make a trip to Mothercare about eleven days later and felt hot, sick and dizzy. You might feel fine, but it's a pressure you don't need. She's being extraordinarily selfish, probably justs wants to show off the baby, you know, YOUR baby... Can your husband speak to her?

I am not sure I would have fancied going to a big party 6 days after my c section TBH. I'd only been out of hospital 3 days and was still on heavy doses of iron tablets.

I would tell MIL that you have no idea and it depends on how you will be after the c section.

TBH I'd be tempted to jsut say no now; you can always change your mind later if need be.

I had an emergency cs. To be safe, give yourself 2 weeks to feel normal. At 6 days, I wouldn't even have visitors to my house, much less going out to a birthday party with baby!

You've all made me feel loads better and not such a selfish worry pot! Infact was so strengthened that MIL wanted to visit today with her cold & chest infection & I told her no, she may think I was being over protective of myself but I was not going to unnecessarily expose myself to illnesses. MIl off on holiday tue am & wont be back till 20th so sadly (wink) will miss the birth. She did tell me that her ferry got back at about 9.45pm so she could stop by at the hospital on the way home. I roared with laughter & told her that visiting hours where not that long & she'd have to wait!!!! Expect its cause its her first grandchild.........lets hope so cause she never used to be so demanding!!!

Ooooh you MIL sounds like a right old busybody!!

I agree with others on the thread don't let her bully you into feeling guilty and going to the party - she'll only want to show YOUR baby off.

As for visiting at that time thats hilarious!!

haven't read whole thread, but there's no way i could've coped with that. i was in hospital for 4 nights after my first c section and living in post baby parallel universe for at least 2 weeks. i also had baby blues to contend with. there's no way you can commit in advance to this , you may have complications of some kind or other and you will very likely not even be walking without pain.

why not say to MIL, that you'll still be 'under' the mid wife's care at that time, which is true. you will be getting homevisits from her/ hv. just say that you'll ask their advice about your/ baby's fitness when the time comes. good luck.

Hi have not read all of the posts so just responding to original post.

I would not commit to anything 7 days after giving birth even if it was not a c-section. For me personally it takes at least a week to start to get a bit of a routine back. When I had DS2 on December 21st last year it was a bloody nightmare at Christmas and in hindsight we should have just stayed at home bedding in iykwim.

Ummmmmmm without wanting to sound rude "stuff your MIL" concentrate on yourself and your baby and do not worry about everyone else.

sorry but even with my 'good' recovery with dd2 - no way in hell did I feel like going out anywhere let alone a party and as for dragging dd2 out to have a whole lot of people hanging over her etc ( as you suspect mil wants to show her off) no way!!

You will be wanting to stay at home and get as much rest as possible. Just keep telling MIL it is major abdominal surgery which takes time to recover from.

I had a CS last Dec & also had SPD, but not as bad as yours (I could still walk at the end, just)

So with that background I can safely say there is no way you can make a definite commitment to go, & if your MIL is pressuring you she is very insensitive.

I'm not trying to put a downer on things, but trying to be realistic....

You will be recovering from a serious op AND SPD, will probably be a little anaemic & definitely sleep deprived, so very tired.

Your baby will be feeding every 1-2hrs & you are right a noisy, smoky party is no place for a newborn. And invariably everyone will want a cuddle

Your milk will have just come in & your hormones will be all over the place.

If she is pressuring for a definite answer, then I would make it a resounding "no"