Private midwives anyone...?

[loubylou8]

Hello All!

I'm 12 weeks preggers with my first child I'm seriously considering booking a private midwife - they are a lot of cash and it would be a big stretch financially (about £3K all in) so is it worth it?

What I want to try and assess is...

Is it worth it if I have a hospital delivery?

I am considering a home birth - is this nuts with first child?
Will having a private midwife actually reduce chance of tearing / intervention?

I'm a huge fan of the NHS and don't want anything I'm saying to suggest otherwise but I'm worried about the lack of continuity and the sort of 'pot luck' you get in terms of midwife at your birth who of course you won't have met before.

I'd love to hear others' experiences of this - not least as DH is very unkeen and thinks I'm being a ridiculous :-)

Thanks all

Maybe post on the childbirth boards as I think some independent midwives post there - and women who have used them.

Anecdotally I have a friend who had an independent. She was very happy and she and baby are fine.

FWIW I've been told natural tears and interventions are two very different risks with different stats. Home birth can reduce intervention, but even ladies who have a good home birth often need stitches (which the mW can do at home).

I've had first baby with NHS midwives, and second with one to one who are basically private midwives funded by the NHS. It was nice having the continuity of care but I don't think it would have been worth paying privately for it. I had a home birth with DC2 and it was an amazing experience, however I tore far more that time - in hospital the mw saw that I was going to tear badly and did an episiotomy to prevent it, whereas at home it was much more hands-off (plus I was in the pool) so this didn't happen.

Any home birth dramatically reduces the chances of needing intervention, doesn't matter if its NHS or private. Unless you can very comfortably afford it I think personally I'd go for NHS midwives and home birth, you could hire a doula if you just wanted an advocate for you.

I'm just off to meet a possible doula. I haven't had any continuity of care with the NHS so far - I'm consultant led, but have never met the same person twice. It worries me slightly that even when I'm in labour I'm going to be having to explain over and over my health issues and/or my preferences (which is what happens at appointments at the moment). I'm hoping that a doula will be able to do that for me/us. Cheaper than a private midwife, but still has good statistics for reducing things like intervention and general bad experiences.

My sister had a doula and said it was the best thing she did. They can help you with your birth plan and making sure the hospital stick with it, with knowing when to go to hospital and help you when you are back home too. I'm pretty happy with the care I've had so far so don't think I'll bother, but they do sound good.

I have a private midwife. The NHS midwife I saw at booking it was lovely, but I am quite nervous about medical stuff and giving birth attended by midwives I would probably never have met before bothered me, so I engaged a private one primarily for continuity. I'm undecided between home and hospital birth and if I do end up with the latter, the mw will essentially take on the role of a doula, but at least I will have someone there who will know me and my preferences and can advocate for me. Having ante-natal appointments at home at a time convenient to me is helpful too. We had the money set aside for a further round of IVF though, so it did not cause us hardship.

Nothing to add except I misread that as pirate midwives

Pirate midwives! :) "Arrrrr you'll be avin' a water birth I takes it. Its a little girl. But we'll be call in er Jim Lad. Arrr."

That's HILARIOUS!

I had my first and second DCs with independent midwives at home (and third with NHS home birth midwives which was fine but TBH I really felt like I knew what I was doing by then and probably could have done it with very little support). I have to say it was amazing and well worth the money (it was a huge stretch financially with DC1).

You are certainly not being mad wanting to have DC1 at home. I had a fantastic birth with DC1 at home.

The real benefits for me were

1. Total continuity of care - I had two midwives all the way through.

2 Much more time at ante-natal appointments with the midwives and confidence in their answers to my questions. 3.Knowing the people who were at the birth and having total confidence in them (and my DH knew them too which was great and helped him relax).

1. AMAZING post-natal care - I didn't really get how much I would need this prior to DC1's birth but so, so important to have someone you know and trust coming to see you in the early days. Massive help with breastfeeding (I'm sure I would have given up if not for their gentle, informed encouragement and time).

I could go on for ever about how great it all was but better stop there for fear of boring the arse off you! In short go for it! Meet up with some midwives and choose some you really like and gel with. good luck.

Oooh just read your last line in your OP Louby - my DH thought it was a load of hippy nonsense at the start - and I think was a more than a little terrified of home birth - but was totally, totally sold after DC1's wonderful birth and the back up we got following. I've even heard him say to other men about how amazing it all was which is hilariously NOT him.