Previous abortion & morning sickness

[ganford]

Hello

10 years ago I was young, careless and ended up having an abortion at around 9 weeks. Although I stand by that decision it still makes me sad, and now I am happily married to someone else and 5 weeks pregnant with our first child, I am really worrying about this pregnancy. It's probably guilt, the sense that I deserve something bad. I know this is ridiculous, but there we go.

So far I have had hardly any symptoms which, naturally, is terrifying me. I felt mega sick when I first found out just over a week ago and had sore boobs for a day. Since then nothing at all. 10 years ago I was very nauseous from very early on with an acute sense of smell and lots of emotions.

I read that women often have less morning sickness and fewer symptoms in second pregnancies. Does my first, aborted pregnancy count as a pregnancy in that sense?

Am I just driving myself nuts and need to get a grip and stop worrying something is wrong?

Thanks

You are just driving yourself nuts because you feel guilty.

I am pregnant for the third time. The first time I had hardly any symptoms and went on to have healthy twins. The second pregnancy I had fairly strong symptoms and had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. The third pregnancy I have had horrendous days and good days, and all is going well so far at nearly 12 weeks. You really can't tell how well things are going from symptoms.

There is no reason your abortion should cause problems in this pregnancy. You have the same chance of success as the rest of us, which probably means you'll worry like the rest of us. But please try not to link this worry to guilt about 10 years ago - you did what you thought was right at the time, which is all any of us can do.

I hope you can put the past behind you and enjoy your pregnancy this time :)

Your abortion ten years ago should not have any bearing on your pregnancy now. Try not to worry, I know this is difficult, I too was in the same situation and went on many years later to have a happy healthy boy with no complications. But actually if you were given the all clear a the time hopefully everything will be great with this pregnancy. I have a friend with 4 children and each pregnancy has been totally different. Be kind to yourself and good luck, I'm sure you will be a wonderful mum.x

Thanks guys. Think I just needed to hear it from someone else, you know.

The decision you made ten years ago was the right one at the time and has ultimately led you to this happiness now.

Both my pregnancies I have found out super early (3+4 & 4 weeks) and spent a good week or two worrying my head off about lack of symptoms. Between weeks 5+6 the sickness started and it hasn't left! So I hope you don't get it that bad but I totally understand where you're coming from.
Just be aware that not everyone gets full blown symptoms and you could sail through this pregnancy with just a lovely bloom!
Good luck, try and relax and for gods sake don't bloody google anything!

"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward."
C. S. Lewis

The above felt appropriate. Guilt is destroying your present, and it's not fair because all of us have made decisions in our lives that we're either not proud of, or they were dictated by circumstances, etc. Try to let go, find a way you can make peace with that decision, with yourself, or it will forever haunt you.

Such kind words. Thank you.

I just wanted to echo what everyone else said.