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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Feeling overwhelmed

3 replies

Chasabeth · 28/05/2014 19:25

Hey guys,
I'm sure that this is a regular topic of conversation but I'm feeling totally overwhelmed and scared all of a sudden of giving birth and looking after a baby. I'm 34 weeks today and it has only recently started to sink in what's going to happen. Don't get me wrong, this baby is a blessing but I feel totally unprepared as well - our cot is still in bits on the nursery floor, I haven't packed my hospital bag, I feel like I'm missing everything and I scared of labour and looking after a child as I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.
As you must have already guessed this is my first baby. I have tried to talk to my husband but he just doesn't understand. I have just started maternity leave and I don't know if this has something to do with.
Any advice would be great and please say I'm not the only one who feels like this!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Scotinoz · 28/05/2014 19:36

Totally normal! I felt like that and my husband's stock answer was "...it'll be fine." It's different for blokes and they just don't get it.

Make a list of all the things you need to do and tick off one a day. They don't need to be big things either. Pace yourself, you need a bit of time just to do nothing on maternity leave.

Get into a bit of a mat leave routine - nice walk, morning coffee, crap telly with lunch, task from the list, afternoon coffee etc etc. Make the most of having not much to do!

As for stressing over actually having the baby.,,

Step away from Mumsnet, Google, books etc!! They are full of horror stories!! Go with the flow.

Good luck!

Monkeybrain10 · 28/05/2014 20:49

I feel the same way! Am 36 weeks..in rented til a month after baby is due then out on our ear! So that kind of adds to the stress of birth and impending motherhood...but every time i feel panicked i look down the street and remind myself that everyone has been born and has parents who have been through this, so it must be possible!!

eepie · 28/05/2014 23:58

I am 35 weeks and just started maternity leave too and feeling similar ! I feel there's still so much to do....plus I'm convinced the baby is going to come early and panicking that we won't have things ready.....

Ticking things off my to do list makes me feel better....- I use this website/app called Todoist - it lets you make multiple To Do lists called 'Projects' with different names so I have: Baby, House, Personal, Would be nice to do, Hospital Bag etc....and every time I am feeling like I really need to do something I have a look on the lists and see if I can get something ticked off. It syncs with your iPhone wirelessly too...so if you think of something you can quickly add it to a Project list on your phone or just the 'Inbox' which is the list for Today - before you forget what it was !! Easy to schedule for a particular day - so you feel you 'dealt' with the task by assigning it to a day & postbone things til tomorrow that you didn't manage to get done that day, without feeling guilty.
Also you can 'share' a Project with someone eg. DP !! And they can see the list, add things, tick things off, see due dates that you set for certain tasks. My DP said he feels better now he actually can see a list of everything I want him to do & he can look at it in his own time, rather than me telling him random thing at the time which overwhelm him and get forgotten.

It's really tricky because I'm used to being quite high-functioning at work and getting lots done in a day and if I don't do much I feel I've been lazy or failed...but I'm just trying to adjust to a slower pace and realising that this is maybe the only time in my life that it's OK to do nothing !

So I'm adjusting my expectations and realising that if I get some housework done, one thing ticked off my list per day, eat & drink regularly - eg. raspberry leaf tea, lots of water - and then manage to switch off my brain enough to have a nap/rest plus also do something active eg walk, stretching, yoga or swimming then that's quite enough for one day ! Just have to keep telling yourself that there's plenty of time.......just one thing at a time.... So hard though !!

Try and go with the flow ! Hope you feel calmer soon.

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