Pregnant over 40yrs old - what's your experience been like?

[SVR28]

I'm not currently pregnant but we are thinking about our 2nd baby. If I do fall pregnant within the next year I will be 41-ish when the baby is born. I also had a severe PPH with my 1st.
I've read all sorts on older mothers but I want to hear from those who actually are "older mothers" what in reality their experience of prenatal and antenatal care actually was - not what is said on websites or the media.
Do you get more care, was your labour consultant led etc.
Thanks

Hi I'm 31 weeks and I'm 42. I am under consultant care and have had extra scans. This is my first baby, although I have had 5 recurrent miscarriages in the first trimester. My pregnancy has been relatively trouble free except for high risk of Downs at the 12 weeks scan, followed by CVS at 14 weeks, the results were clear for chromosomal abnormality. I have welcomed the extra care with my previous history and I'm looking forward to meeting baby very soon!

I had DC1 at 38 and am now pregnant with DC2 at 41. I haven't had any increased risk factors or any specialist care other than the standard (I am in France and the standard is a bit different, e.g. gyneacologist visits every month but I am not getting anything that wouldn't be offered to a younger woman anyway). I do have some unpleasant side-effects (HG being the worst) but I don't think they are related to age.

I chose a CS first time and will chose a CS again, but my doctor didn't have a problem with me going for a VB either time, it was my choice.

I am afraid I don't know anything about PPH in pregnancy though. It sounds like a question for a medical specialist and I hope you do not experience it again!

I had DCs 4 & 5 at 40 and 43

I didn't have any tests apart from the routine bloods.
I had no problems at all during pregnancy.
I had two HBs with no PPH

MW for DC5 got a bit weird right at the end and tried to talk me out of a HB due to my risk of PPH but I took advice from several sources and it seemed she was over reacting. She said I was multi gravida (I wasn't, DC5 was my 4th birth as one mine is adopted), I hadn't had any PPH or excess bleeding with any of my births and I had no other risk factors.

I later found out she had only been to one HB as a student and was panicking a bit

If you have had a previous PPH afaik you are at increased risk of another.

My care was all community MW led. I only went to the hospital for my dating and anomaly scans.
I had no extra care during my pregnancies. In fact I had far fewer appointments due to things having changed so much in antenatal care between having DCs 1 & 2.

Back in those days you went to the hospital every four weeks.

I find a concentration on the negatives of older mothers. This is all based on statistical information (which ignores the individual experience) and mostly around the risk of giving birth to a child with a disability.

I find that depressing and TBH it got me down a bit when I was pregnant. At time I felt like a bit of a freak and like I was doing something irresponsible.

But that is the downside of the internet.

The upside is that you find lots of women who say 'meh, I had a baby when I was 45 and it was a breeze'

Good luck.

I am 41 and 24 weeks pregnant with DC3. It's been my easiest pregnancy so far. Although actually getting pregnant was a hole different issue (pregnant first month trying with DS1 and 2- this time round it took 3 years with a year of failed fertility treatment thrown in - so my advice would be- don't put it off too long if you decide to go for it
I had 1 in 4 risk of Downs with DC2 so opted for Harmony test instead this time which came back low risk. No one has batted an eyelid about my age at antenatal appointments - no extra appointments or scans though I will have a third CS

Hi, I'm 46 and cradling DC4 ,born last month as I type this.
I was classed as a high risk pregnancy due to my "Advanced maternal age" and also as I've had multiple first trimester losses in the last few years.(Sadly a downside of ttc when you're older is an increased risk of miscarriage; I was told at my age in my mid 40s my chances were 50% if I became pregnant). I was advised to take aspirin from my BFP and had two early scans at the EPU before joining the "normal" system.
I had Consultant led care and went on to have extra growth scans in my last trimester, just as a precaution,baby was found to be developing normally each time.My triple test for chromosomal abnormalities came back as low risk, 1 in 320, my background risk due to age was 1 in 30.
I had a GTT which was normal.I was put on iron due to anaemia, but I'd had that in my last pregnancy at 36 too. My varicose veins which had developed with DC3 were worse this time but have really settled down since the birth. Otherwise I didn't find the pregnancy any more difficult this time. I was induced on my due date,hospital policy for older mums. It worked quickly, labour was uncomplicated and we went home the same day. I have been put on Clexane injections daily for 6 weeks partly because of age increasing the risk of dvt,though also because of the varicose veins and it being my 4th child.
Early 40s is still relatively young though!
There's a very supportive thread on the Conception page for ttc in your 40's if you decide to go for it.
Good luck!

DD is 2.5 and was born 3 weeks before I was 41.
I was high risk and consultant led primarily due to hyperemisis and previous emcs, rather than my age.

I got a few more appts than ususual too, but in a reassuring way.

I hated being pg at 37 and hated it again at 40, but I don't think my hatred of pregnancy is to do with age!

I had my second baby when I was 41, 16 years after my first and apart from horrible morning, noon and night sickness for the first 20 weeks I was fine. In fact once the puking stoppedI felt better than I did the first time around at 25. I was consultant led and had growth scans but all was well. I also had a better delivery than with my first, first time around I was induced, needed an epidural and had a 2nd degree tear and a PPH, second time went into labour naturally at 39+6, paced about with a TENS machine and pushed her out in ten minutes with only a graze and 100ml blood loss so overall was better all round as an old bird :)

I'm 42 and currently 37+4. Feel fine, not tired etc like I thought I'd be (only just finished work too). Had my first at age 37. I have extra care due to having gest diabetes but the medics never EVER mention my age(apart from the early stages when I had the Harmony test done as part of an Nhs pilot for older mothers, at least at my hospital) - in fact I am the only one who brings up the issue of my being "older" (for example when discussing plans for birth, induction dates etc) and then they usually say, "oh what age are you?". And they are completely unfazed when I tell them and there is no extra consultant care etc.

PS like other posters I also struggled for 3-4 years to get pregnant (and had a loss at 11 weeks) so that is definitely an issue as you get older. But the pregnancy itself is fine so far.

Thanks all so much for your responses - and positive ones at that, some really made me laugh!
It has given me an idea of what to expect based on real people's experiences rather than second guessing and being thoroughly depressed by the sensationalist and often negative reports in the media. Thanks again all.

I'm 40 at the moment, and 22 weeks. As with some people above, my age is rarely mentioned. I'm 'high risk' anyway due to a blood clotting disorder, so I'm consultant led - which has meant I've had extra scans and pre-eclampsia drugs like aspirin and calcium, but I'm not sure if I'd have had that at age 39.

I had my coil out on 19th December, was pregnant by first week in January, so sometimes it doesn't take ages to conceive either. Obviously I panicked am still panicking about miscarriage or other problems, particularly early on - but I don't think my age has much to do with that, I'd have had the same risk factors 5 years ago.

I do wonder what recovery will be like though, I mean, 15 years ago I didn't love my sleep so much, or ache after exercise for as long. We'll see.

I'm 41 and have 10 week old twins. I was consultant led but this was due to carrying twins rather than my age. Had I just been expecting one, it would have been community MW led. My pregnancy this time (I had my first when I was 37) was more tiring with having a 3.5 year old to chase after. But, I am sure the exhaustion was more to do with carrying twins (I finished work at 29 weeks rather than 37 weeks like last time). The only time I really noticed my age changing my care was that I was prescribed low dose aspirin as a preventative measure against high blood pressure and ultimately pre-eclampsia and age was one of the indicators (along with my BMI). However, I was well throughout the pregnancy, blood pressure etc was fine all the way through. Last time I had significant blood loss leading to 3 blood transfusions and severe anaemia. This meant I was really low on energy for a good 12 weeks after my DS was born. In fact I have more energy this time round despite having twins and a 3 year old! It has made me realise how rough I was feeling due to the anaemia. Anyway, a bit of a ramble but ultimately I don't think my age significantly affected my care or my pregnancy but be aware that being over 40 does increase the chance of twins

I know its absolutely true that its harder to get pg when you are older.

But..... I planned on it taking at least a year with DC5 and decided to get on with it.

It took one go.

I was walking around like this ---> for about three months muttering 'how the hell did that happen'

So you know, just be prepared for all eventualities

Devere Yes that was our experience too. I was similarly shocked especially as having been tracking my ovulation in preparation I knew I hadn't ovulated at all for the two previous months! Although that probably explains the twins.

I don't think 'shocked' would have covered it if I had discovered DC5 was going to be DCs 5 & 6

I had DC1 at 38 and DC2 at 40 - totally uneventful pregnancies both times. No extra care relating to my age at all. (I did have extra scans, cvs and the Harmony test due to having had a trisomy pregnancy at 37 before DC1 - the risk of abnormalities does of course increase as you age - but had I not had this history, I would have just had standard care).

It took two years, much heartache and several thousand pounds to conceive DC1. We conceived DC2 the first time sort of not really trying just thought we'd better starting heading down that road again.

I do think that my age means I'm not as resilient after the birth as some younger women might be though [old gimmer emoticon].

Hi - I'm 37 - what do the tests for downs involve?

Hi there. I had DC1 at age 40 and DC2 age 42. Worried much more before I had the DC that I would be 'too old'. I was Consultant led due to another un age related medical condition around my pituitary gland but actually I had two totally trouble free pregnancies and labours. I liked the fact that Doctors and Midwifes didn't treat me as old and infirm or odd in anyway. I didn't have blood tests or others for abnormalities as preferred not to as they would have worried me more i felt. Two totally natural and straightforward births. Did Hypnobirthing which helped enormously. I would encourage other older mothers. I look after myself in my forties to ensure I am there for my kids. I feel like I have more time for them and I never want them to think I am 'old' so I keep reasonably fit and young in outlook. I tend to say 'yes' to going to the park or a game of football! It has been the best thing I have ever done even though ten years ago I thought the chances of me having kids was virtually nil. Hope this helps x

hi all,
im 42 and tried ivf several times with twice embyo transfer but both were failed.

im too down and sad. especially i have no fund to go for another try .

pls advise .