Miscarriage at 12 week scan - what happens next?

[Lulu1986]

Hello,

I'm new to the site but after finding out yesterday at our 12 week scan the devastating news that our baby didn't have a heart beat I felt compelled to write to see if anyone else could share their experience.

I know this happens to so many women but for some reason despite seeing the chances, deep down you think it won't be you. I have gone through such a roller coaster of emotions in the last 24 hours, mostly disappointment, and just overwhelming sadness, and also guilty for feeling like this when there are so many women who can't have children.

But now I'm starting to feel nervous and a bit scared about when I am actually going to pass the pregnancy. My hospital's policy is that they let nature take its course for 2 weeks, and after this point if nothing has happened, I can choose between surgical or medical intervention.

I feel like I am just waiting - when will it come? Will it all come at once? What if I'm at work? Will it hurt? What if I see the baby? And if it doesn't come (and it may not - the baby was only 9 weeks, so hasn't appeared in the last 3 1/2 weeks), then which intervention option should I choose? Do either options have a greater impact on recovery time and being able to start trying again?

So sorry to hear that lulu. Hope you have lots of support. I have not got any practical advice I'm afraid, but didn't want your post to go unanswered. Have you looked at the miscarriage threads, I have heard they are really supportive and it might be helpful to talk to people in the same situation. Hope you get the support you need.

Hi, this is called a missed miscarriage (MMC). I had one in 2010. In my case, the baby had not developed past the 7 week stage but I found out at what should have been my 12 week scan.

I didn't have any intervention & passed the pregnancy naturally about a week after the scan (so at what would have been 13 weeks). It felt no worse than a rough period - a little more cramping that usual but no overly excessive blood loss. In my case, I could tell that I had lost what I can only describe as looking like a small lump of flesh. It was not physically painful but obviously it's a sad thing to happen.

With regards to being at work, you will just need heavy absorbency pads & maybe some painkillers. Because you don't know when it will happen it is hard to plan for it - I ended up just trying to get on with life (I had two older DCs) & ending up miscarrying in McDonald's!

Best of luck .

So sorry you are going through this Lulu,the exact same thing happened to me at the 12wk scan. The hospital said I could wait and see if it would pass naturally or have the erpc. They estimated that the baby hadn't lived beyond 6wks so as it had not passed out in those 6wks before the scan, I chose the surgical option. The scan was on the Friday and I went in on the Monday for daycare and was home Monday evening. I was fine physically (although not emotionally)
They recommended waiting 2 months before trying again, I didn't go back on the pill and it did co-incidentally take 2 months to conceive again and everything was fine with that pregnancy.

Hi lulu so sorry to hear about your miscarriage it's just devestating isant it,
I too went through a similar thing and like you my baby died a few weeks previously but, I was lucky because my miscarriage happened within a few days of being told I had miscarried, it was like a heavy period with the associated cramps and I know this sounds odd but you know when you pass baby, it's not really recognisable as a baby.

It sounds like the hospital have got you covered olbviously natural miscarriage is preferable, are you able to get your GP to sign you off for a couple of weeks? It will be difficult to work particularly over the next week.

I found the miscarriage website invaluable, I hope you get through this next part as easy as possible.

Take care of yourself and just go with your emotions it's a really awful time.

Lulu I am so sorry to hear what you are going through, my heart goes out to you. I have had 2 MMC and was lucky that I could choose with my hospital to have surgical intervention straight away and not have to wait 2 weeks. With the first MMC I had an ERPC which was very straight forward and would be my recommendation if you have the choice. For my 2nd MMC I had an MVA (manual vacuum aspiration). It may just be my experience but I would not wish a MVA on my worst enemy, if you have the choice I would definitely go for the ERPC, I'm sorry I have no experience or knowledge of medical intervention i.e. tablets.
Thinking of you and the hard decisions that you are going to have to make, whatever you choose just remember that it is nothing that you have done, it is just one of those shi**y things that many of us women have had to go through xx

Oh, and just to add - I conceived again 6 months later & had a problem free pregnancy that time.

lulu I'm so sorry you have lost your baby. Do come over to the miscarriage board in the body and soul section for more support. There is a thread there called "tips for coping" which details experiences of all three methods and may be helpful in deciding which is least-worst for you. The Miscarriage Association website is v good for factual information. All the options have similar (low) complication rates and you can try again after one period whichever method you choose (many women don't wait for a period but that's the official advice)

I can't believe how much support I have got in just half an hour. Thanks so much ladies, and likewise I'm so sad for your losses. But it's so good to hear stories of good news and successful pregnancies from those of you who have experienced this. That's what is getting me through!!
Xxx

lulu I suffered a mmc last year, like you I found out at the 12 week scan that the baby had died at 8+6. They sent me to another hospital and there they gave me 3 options 1) to wait it out to see if I would miscarry naturally 2) medical management e.g take the pills 3) have an erpc. I chose an Erpc for me as I did not want to see it or be in pain. If you choose this feel free to pm me and I can give you loads of info of what to expect.

Happy ending for me too, as I am 22 weeks pregnant now!