Worried I can't do it

[alwaysblonde]

I am currently 19 weeks pregnant with dc1.

When I announced pregnancy to my family my auntie sent a text to my mum saying 'congratulations on your first grandchild, we find 4 a handful.Jenny.... a mother?!!!'

Perhaps it's hormones but perhaps she's right and I'm not cut out for it?.

Oh don't be silly people react funny when they find out your pregnant! Especially people who have known you since you were a baby yourself. My dad called my aunt to let her know I was pregnant her reply was 'what? On purpose?'! Funnily enough it wasn't on purpose but still! Lol!
You will be fine!

You'll be fine! We all survive, just about.

Just remember,that it gets shit for everyone, but it's also a joy for the vast majority. Anyone saying otherwise has a very fickle memory.

How do you know that's what your Aunt meant? The exact meaning and nuance of phrases can be totally lost in a text message. To me it could read in different ways e.g. surprise that you are at that stage in your life, which has a knock on effect for your Mum. She could be seeing you as the child that you once were, and finding the shift to you becoming a mother yourself something that reminds her of her own ageing.

Is your Aunt normally a bit dismissive of you, and has she got any history of sending texts/emails/making comments that undermine you?

Either way, you will absolutely be fine when your DC arrives. No-one is especially cut out for being a mum over anyone else. Some people who think they'll be great struggle unexpectedly, whereas others who don't think they are particularly maternal find that they take to it easily. Even if you find some aspects difficult, this doesn't make you not cut out for it - everyone has ups and downs with parenting. Some people don't really like the baby stage but really enjoy toddlerhood, or vice versa. Neither is better or worse than the other.

Can you talk to your mum about this (and why did she show you that particular text anyway?) - if you have a good relationship then I'm sure she will be able to reassure you.

You'll be fine. It is natural to worry before your baby arrives. Try some relaxation or positive meditation, it will calm your nerves and help you focus on the positives of your pregnancy. Being a mum is a wonderful experience and you will feel scared at times but you will get through it and love bonding with your beautiful baby when the time comes. I think your aunt meant it in an excited way rather than a sceptical way.

You'll be fine, your Aunt is probably just feeling old on account of the fact that someone she remembers being born is now having a baby herself!

The Jenny...a mother ?!!! probably means, shit where did the time go, I remember her starting school. You'll be fine!

I would read it the same way as others - not as implying you can't do it but "oh my goodness, how is it possible she is all grown up already! " I feel a bit that way about my nieces starting uni!

I do hope so. I'm going to try my best as we all do.

She has a tendency to get a little odd sometimes. We had an early scan at EPU for an expected ectopic and at the news we had seen it twice, she said "oh you have more money than sense!". Hello?! NHS?!

I do wonder why she can't just say "congratulations" like everyone else.

Ps. Am the same age as her daughter who has 1 and another due 3 months before me. Plus I got married last year!

Yeah, but she probably got the 'oh my little girl is a mum' stuff out of her system with her first grandchild! Plus, as you say, she's a bit odd.

to me that sounds lile she meant it in the way of...omg i cant bileave it. nothing bad by it...i could be wrong thpugh

It doesn't sound like she's questioning your parenting abilities, however if there is a background of odd comments then just put it down to her odd ways rather than any true concerns about you as a parent.

Incidentally, I read that as 'Jenny... a mother?!!!' as in 'can you believe it, she's all grown up'. Just another POV.

Mind, from what else you said she does sound a bit odd. My Auntie is a bit of a daft bat so I can relate